Solved: Senior Citizen stories, jokes and cartoons. - Page 22

DaveMcK · ‎03-14-2017

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves.

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

DaveMcK · ‎11-30-2023

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

View solution in original post

DaveMcK · ‎05-24-2020

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

dl73698250 · ‎05-30-2020

I guess you just have to be Norwegian to get this one. Ha Ha.

Disclaimer: This comment is NOT intended to promote racism/anti-immigrants/bigotry/isolationism. But, it is intended to raise awareness to the speech/listener problem and the Official Language.debate.

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-30-2020

DaveMcK · ‎05-20-2020

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-21-2020

"I got my mind on my money and money on my mind."

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-21-2020

Punchline: If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her inside.

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-21-2020

Punchline: When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times.

Eventually, they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater.

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-23-2020

Barry and Hannah, an old married couple, are sitting on the couch watching TV. On the show they were speaking about how to prepare in case of death etc. “Honey,” says Barry, turning to his wife with a serious expression, “I want you to promise me, that if there ever comes a time that I am dependent on just machines and bottled fluid, that you will make sure to put an end to it.” “No problem hun,” said Hannah, and she promptly got up, turned off the TV, and poured his beer down the drain.

LydiaN586309 · ‎05-23-2020

Whoops!

I ran into a store leaving my elderly mother in the car. I was surprised when at the cashier I saw my mother there. "What are you doing here?" I asked, "I left the car running."

"Don’t worry," momma said, "I locked the doors!"

DaveMcK · ‎05-19-2020

Listen To Your Doctor
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"..ooh!

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper