Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

[DaveMcK]

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

[DaveMcK · Accepted solution]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[dl73698250]

---

@DaveMcK wrote:

---

This just goes to show that proper protocol/channels matter. Who can you trust?

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Not Taking Aging too Seriously!

As our awareness and consciousness grows, our body may have difficulties keeping up the high pace.

So rather than lamenting it, why not keep your spirit high and make fun of it.

A good piece of advice is: If you cannot laugh at something, you're probably taking it too seriously!:

First you forget names, then you forget faces, than you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. 
~ Leo Rosenberg ~

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. 
~ Malcolm Cowley ~

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 
~ Chili Davis ~

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. 
~ Phyllis Diller ~

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. 
~ Sir Norman Wisdom ~

Getting old ain't for sissies. 
~ Betty Davis ~

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. 
~ John P.Grier ~

Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up.
~ John Wagner ~

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

Per your request Dave:

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm here!"

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, “How’s your love life?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ll ask my wife.” He got up, walked into the hallway where his wife was sitting, and shouted, “Hey, the doctor wants to know if we still have sex.”

His wife shouted back, “No, the only thing we have is Medicare and Blue Cross.”

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[LydiaN586309]

[DaveMcK]

[DaveMcK]

Grandpa O'Malley's Wife Goes Shopping

Grandma Maggie O'Malley was off to Dublin to do her shopping.  'Be careful,' said Mary McGee. Those Dublin stores charge far more than you'd pay here in Sligo. They always double the price. So when you get there only offer them half.''I will,' said Maggie, and indeed she did. 'The green dress in the window,' she said. 'It's priced at £40. That's much too dear!' 'Madam,' said the salesman, 'believe me it is a very reasonable price.''Don't give me that,' said Maggie. 'I know your kind, you're all robbers of the worst kind - I'll give you £20 for the dress.' 'Look, Madam,' said the salesman. 'I don't want a scene. If you calm down, I'll let you have the dress for £20.''In that case,' bellowed Maggie to a gathering crowd, 'I'll give you £10 for it.' 'Madam, please,' begged the salesman, 'I don't want to sully our reputation. If it'll make you go away you can have it for £10.''In that case I'll give you £5,' said Maggie. 'Madam, you're driving me nuts. To get rid of you, please take the dress for nothing.''In that case,' said Maggie, 'I want two! 

[DaveMcK]

[LydiaN586309]

I only wish I could.......