Content starts here
CLOSE ×

Search

Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Reply
Honored Social Butterfly

Senior Citizen stories, Senior jokes and cartoons.

Hope this topic gives us another winner. Senior stories, jokes or cartoons to enjoy and have fun laughing at ourselves. 

 

BEST EVER SENIOR CITIZEN JOKE.....

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster." He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea" and then he said with a deep sigh ............

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

 

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
610,032 Views
1476
Report
1 ACCEPTED SOLUTION
Honored Social Butterfly

FB_IMG_1697157641346.jpg

 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper

View solution in original post

68,048 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Not Taking Aging too Seriously!

Funny birthday sayings - funny drawing of funny old man with hat

As our awareness and consciousness grows, our body may have difficulties keeping up the high pace.

So rather than lamenting it, why not keep your spirit high and make fun of it.

A good piece of advice is: If you cannot laugh at something, you're probably taking it too seriously!:

First you forget names, then you forget faces, than you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down. 
Leo Rosenberg ~

They tell you that you'll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don't tell you is that you won't miss it very much. 
~ Malcolm Cowley ~

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 
Chili Davis ~

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. 
Phyllis Diller ~

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. 
Sir Norman Wisdom ~

Getting old ain't for sissies. 
Betty Davis ~

You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. 
John P.Grier ~

Donโ€™t let aging get you down. Itโ€™s too hard to get back up.
John Wagner ~

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
14,019 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

medical-hearing_aid-ear_trumpet-doctors-deafness-fitness-babn46_low.jpg85026115_3290505217643806_240128907100028928_n.jpghave_a_great_week_ahead_messages.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
14,005 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Per your request Dave:

 

Image result for gifs marching banging a pot or pan

"I'm here, I'm here. I'm here!"

12,936 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for funny funnies about senior citizens

0
Kudos
3221
Views
12,839 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for funny funnies about senior citizens

12,734 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for funny funnies about senior citizens

13,056 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for funny funnies about senior citizens

12,594 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, โ€œHowโ€™s your love life?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know,โ€ he said. โ€œIโ€™ll ask my wife.โ€ He got up, walked into the hallway where his wife was sitting, and shouted, โ€œHey, the doctor wants to know if we still have sex.โ€

His wife shouted back, โ€œNo, the only thing we have is Medicare and Blue Cross.โ€

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,684 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for funny funnies about senior citizens

12,425 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

12,368 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

old-media.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
12,213 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for senior jokes and cartoons

0 Kudos
12,220 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for senior jokes and cartoons

0 Kudos
12,059 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for senior jokes and cartoons

12,140 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for senior jokes and cartoons

0 Kudos
12,008 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

89635360_552161435415448_5001908690899435520_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
11,733 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Grandpa O'Malley's Wife Goes Shopping

Grandma Maggie O'Malley was off to Dublin to do her shopping.  'Be careful,' said Mary McGee. Those Dublin stores charge far more than you'd pay here in Sligo. They always double the price. So when you get there only offer them half.''I will,' said Maggie, and indeed she did. 'The green dress in the window,' she said. 'It's priced at ยฃ40. That's much too dear!' 'Madam,' said the salesman, 'believe me it is a very reasonable price.''Don't give me that,' said Maggie. 'I know your kind, you're all robbers of the worst kind - I'll give you ยฃ20 for the dress.' 'Look, Madam,' said the salesman. 'I don't want a scene. If you calm down, I'll let you have the dress for ยฃ20.''In that case,' bellowed Maggie to a gathering crowd, 'I'll give you ยฃ10 for it.' 'Madam, please,' begged the salesman, 'I don't want to sully our reputation. If it'll make you go away you can have it for ยฃ10.''In that case I'll give you ยฃ5,' said Maggie. 'Madam, you're driving me nuts. To get rid of you, please take the dress for nothing.''In that case,' said Maggie, 'I want two! 

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
11,808 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

83795486_189837079085430_3265304695589044224_n.pngFB_IMG_1552616235014.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
11,802 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Pilates is an exercise system targeted at developing flexibility and core strength as well as promoting total body balance. Pilates is so versatile that it can be performed by senior citizens and seasoned athletes who may reap its rewards. Pilates was. Young At Heart, Aging Gracefully, Getting Old, Belle Photo, Funny Photos, Funny Images, Bing Images, I Laughed, Laughter

 

I only wish I could.......

0
Kudos
3390
Views
11,638 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Funny pictures, funny pics, funny images and funny photos from Internets. Check out Funny Captions How Me a Dog Le. Funny Animal Pictures, Funny Images, Funny Photos, Funny Animals, Cute Animals, Bing Images, Funniest Pictures, Pet Pictures, Hilarious Pictures

Terror Behind the Wheel

 

11,444 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Just in case . Haha Funny, Funny Cute, Funny Memes, Lol, Funny Stuff, Jokes, Funny Things, Funny **bleep**, That's Hilarious

Posted by Me

11,183 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

 

Funny Jokes To Make You LOL ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿป๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ Hilarious Jokes & Humor - Clean Jokes, Dirty Jokes, Dad jokes & more. Funny Cartoon Pictures, Funny Picture Jokes, Cartoon Jokes, Funny Cartoons, Senior Humor, Golf Humor, Birthday Quotes For Him, Funny Birthday Cards, Humor Birthday

Posted by Me

0 Kudos
11,236 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

11,217 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

1393626_3607040432872_1641087921_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
0 Kudos
11,128 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

89350308_10158416747871929_6564859818333437952_n.jpg

Posted by Dave the Lighthouse Keeper
11,087 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for new old people cartoons

Motivation to Exercise 101

10,549 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for jokes about being old

10,691 Views
2
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away in the wind. A gentleman approached her & said, "Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?"


"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need my hands to hold onto my hat." "But madam," he said, "you must know that you're derriere is exposed!" The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!"

10,539 Views
1
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Change The Menu

Two elderly ladies meet at the drug store after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing.

"Oh! Harold died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a potato's for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of baked beans instead."

10,562 Views
0
Report
Honored Social Butterfly

Image result for jokes about being old

10,609 Views
0
Report
cancel
Showing results forย 
Showย ย onlyย  | Search instead forย 
Did you mean:ย 
Users
Need to Know

NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Atari Centipedeยฎ and you could win $100! Learn More.

AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays

More From AARP