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Re: I DO?

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PattyDiane,
Thank you for your post. What did you discover about marriage?
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Not only a strong faith in God, but a strong physical reletionship. Just because we are getting older, ladies doesn't mean we stop trying. I wash off my makeup at night and put a modicum back on. I smell nice and dress beautifully for bed. I'm 60 years old and feel 20 some nights. Keep the love alive in the bedroom also.

Catherine
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What a tough subject.  With the way the world changes and provides different stresses, achievements losses, accomplishments and challenges, a marriage can be "good" until it is not "good".  Maybe the gauge to decide if a marriage is happy and successful can only be applied when one or the other partner passes.  Up until that time - anything can happen.

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No comment.  I'm taking the fifth!

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Congrats, I want to be like "emeraldgrandma" when I grow up. We've been married for 33 years this December and I love him with all my heart.  It's Me, God and my happy hubby. Yes God is and has always been the center of our life. Yes, we've had good, times and bad, been through sickness and good health. Communication is the key. He's never had to sleep on the couch, he's never been put out of the house. We talk, and talk and won't sleep until any issue is solved. We laugh together and cry together. We made a pack years ago that we will always eat dinner together; and we do most days; Friday is our "date night" and we try to stick too it unless something else comes up and we let each other know. We spend "quality time" together. We exercise together. Some may say we need time apart, but I travel with my job several times a year, and I hang with my siblings several times a month. But this comes and go, he's there "til death do us part"

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I've been married once (still am) for 38 years now. I was 29 and my husband was 28 and I think that gave us an automatic advantage.

We decided not to have children and surveys indicate that childless couples have happier marriages.

And having said that, the reason for our successful marriage is this; when we differ on an issue we decide which one of us feels stronger about their position and we do that. Works every time.

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I, like you, have had a number of failed marriages. In My past relationships I was looking for something the people I was invloved with were not able to give. LOVE is not how you feel it's what you do. It's a verb not a noun. Commitment is only as strong as both people making it.

 

So being choosy, having a list of what meant most to me and waiting for that to come in my life is what was a big part of my current marriage's success.

 

Success is an odd word to use in terms of marriage. People can change, let you down, or just leave. So the success isn't based on how much you "loved" or cared for them, how hard you tried, how much you did or didn't compromise. It really isn't based on merit or what you deserve. I don't even think it's measured by the number of years together and it's definitely not only about being happy or satisfied. I learned along time ago 1 person can not make another happy...nor satisfy all their needs or wants. I would like to say RESPECT has the highest rank on my list of ingredients needed to make it last.

 

So in summary I believe two people who make a commitment to each other, are healed, whole and strong (can have everything to do with faith and Jesus being Lord of all of their lives) and just the resolve and determination not to break the commitment until death do us part on BOTH people's hearts is what makes a lifelong marriage. Not any of the things you go through, endure or enjoy.

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I, like you, have had a number of failed marriages. In My past relationships I was looking for something the people I was invloved with were not able to give. LOVE is not how you feel it's what you do. It's a verb not a noun. Commitment is only as strong as both people making it.

 

So being choosy, having a list of what meant most to me and waiting for that to come in my life is what was a big part of my current marriage's success.

 

Success is an odd word to use in terms of marriage. People can change, let you down, or just leave. So the success isn't based on how much you "loved" or cared for them, how hard you tried, how much you did or didn't compromise. It really isn't based on merit or what you deserve. I don't even think it's measured by the number of years together and it's definitely not only about being happy or satisfied. I learned along time ago 1 person can not make another happy...nor satisfy all their needs or wants. I would like to say RESPECT has the highest rank on my list of ingredients needed to make it last.

 

So in summary I believe two people who make a commitment to each other, are healed, whole and strong (can have everything to do with faith and Jesus being Lord of all of their lives) and just the resolve and determination not to break the commitment until death do us part on BOTH people's hearts is what makes a lifelong marriage. Not any of the things you go through, endure or enjoy.

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I, like you, have had a number of failed marriages. In My past relationships I was looking for something the people I was invloved with were not able to give. LOVE is not how you feel it's what you do. It's a verb not a noun. Commitment is only as strong as both people making it.

 

So being choosy, having a list of what meant most to me and waiting for that to come in my life is what was a big part of my current marriage's success.

 

Success is an odd word to use in terms of marriage. People can change, let you down, or just leave. So the success isn't based on how much you "loved" or cared for them, how hard you tried, how much you did or didn't compromise. It really isn't based on merit or what you deserve. I don't even think it's measured by the number of years together and it's definitely not only about being happy or satisfied. I learned along time ago 1 person can not make another happy...nor satisfy all their needs or wants. I would like to say RESPECT has the highest rank on my list of ingredients needed to make it last.

 

So in summary I believe two people who make a commitment to each other, are healed, whole and strong (can have everything to do with faith and Jesus being Lord of all of their lives) and just the resolve and determination not to break the commitment until death do us part on BOTH people's hearts is what makes a lifelong marriage. Not any of the things you go through, endure or enjoy.

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Message 10 of 24

I, like you, have had a number of failed marriages. In My past relationships I was looking for something the people I was invloved with were not able to give. LOVE is not how you feel it's what you do. It's a verb not a noun. Commitment is only as strong as both people making it.

 

So being choosy, having a list of what meant most to me and waiting for that to come in my life is what was a big part of my current marriage's success.

 

Success is an odd word to use in terms of marriage. People can change, let you down, or just leave. So the success isn't based on how much you "loved" or cared for them, how hard you tried, how much you did or didn't compromise. It really isn't based on merit or what you deserve. I don't even think it's measured by the number of years together and it's definitely not only about being happy or satisfied. I learned along time ago 1 person can not make another happy...nor satisfy all their needs or wants. I would like to say RESPECT has the highest rank on my list of ingredients needed to make it last.

 

So in summary I believe two people who make a commitment to each other, are healed, whole and strong (can have everything to do with faith and Jesus being Lord of all of their lives) and just the resolve and determination not to break the commitment until death do us part on BOTH people's hearts is what makes a lifelong marriage. Not any of the things you go through, endure or enjoy.

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