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- Re: Funny Stories and Life Experiences
Funny Stories and Life Experiences
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Funny Stories and Life Experiences
New topic featuring funny stories.
This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked,
and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,
and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door
and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."
"Oh, really! What'd he say?"
He said: “Who screwed up your hair?”
‐‐------------------------
Solved! Go to Solution.
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Anyone over the age of 32 should read this, as I copied this from a friend... Checking out at the supermarket recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own carrier bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. I apologised and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my earlier days." The cashier responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right about one thing -- our generation didn't have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then…? After some reflection and soul-searching on "Our" day here's what I remembered we did have.... Back then, we returned milk bottles, fizzy pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilised and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator or lift in every store and office building. We walked to the supermarket and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two minutes up the road. But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me -down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of England. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used screwed up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right. We didn't have the green thing back then. We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then. Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mums into a 24- hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerised gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint. But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then? Please post this on your Facebook profile so another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smarty-pants young person can add this to their page.
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Stole this from another site. 🙂 Too funny not to share:
I refuse to put on winter tires because:
It’s my car, my choice, my freedom.
The effectiveness of winter tires is not proven, except by studies carried out by the manufacturers (you amaze me).
My neighbor Robert had an accident after putting on his winter tires.
Some are already on their 3rd set of tires, which proves their Ineffectiveness.
We don’t know what they are made of.
The tire giants scare us with winter, just to enrich themselves.
In fact, the tire giants invented snow and spread it at night when you sleep.
If I have winter tires, the government can track me in the snow.
Educate yourself, open your eyes, stop being a sheep!
This year, I say no to winter tires!
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The Elephant Rope
A man was walking nearby to a group of elephants that was halted by a small rope tied to their front leg. He was amazed by the fact that the huge elephants are not even making an attempt to break the rope and set themselves free.
He saw an elephant trainer standing beside them and he expressed his puzzled state of mind. The trainer said “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them.
As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”
Moral: It is the false belief of the elephants that denied their freedom for life time. Likewise, many people are not trying to work towards success in their life just because they failed once before. So keep on trying and don’t get tied up with some false beliefs of failure.
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The TRUTH is, that all of the “STUFF” here on earth we work SO hard to buy and accumulate..does NOT mean a thing. At the end of the day...people will be cleaning out our "STUFF", going thru our "STUFF", figuring out what to do with all of our "STUFF"....this "STUFF" we've accumulated in our life. The only thing of VALUE that remains are the MEMORIES and what we deposit into others. May we all learn to spend less time accumulating "STUFF" and spend way more time making MEMORIES.
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@aruzinsky That's true. But what I found when I had more STUFF, I couldn't find what I needed, so went out and bought that thing. Later, I would find that thing that I needed, but had already bought a new replacement. Did I totally confuse you?
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"I asked an elderly man once what it was like to be old and to know the majority of his life was behind him. He told me that he has been the same age his entire life. He said the voice inside of his head had never aged. He has always just been the same boy. His mother's son. He had always wondered when he would grow up and be an old man. He said he watched his body age and his faculties dull but the person he is inside never got tired. Never aged. Never changed.
Our spirits are eternal. Our souls are forever. The next time you encounter an elderly person, look at them and know they are still a child, just as you are still a child and children will always need love, attention and purpose." ~ Author Unknown
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From rescues to rescuers: Training search dogs. CBS Sunday Morning News. SORRY BUT THIS MAY BE SLOW IN OPENING.
Link:
ttps://www.cbsnews.com/video/from-rescues-to-rescuers-training-search-dogs/
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Our 2012 Hawaiian trip from the past.
Pineapple Express Train Ride Take a two-mile, 20-minute fully narrated train ride through a real-life working plantation. Along the route, you’ll learn the stories of the pineapple, Hawaii’s most famous fruit crop, and hear about James Dole, the man who built a world-famous agricultural empire from 60 acres of Wahiawa earth.
Pineapple Garden Maze
The 2008 Guinness World Records named Dole Plantation’s Pineapple Garden Maze as the World’s Largest Maze. Come and see this gigantic outdoor brain-teaser, one of only a handful of botanical mazes in the United States. Test your “navigational skills” while having fun seeking the eight hidden stations located within the maze.
- Plantation Garden Tour
Eight mini-gardens give tour-goers an opportunity to see, smell, and touch many of the diverse crops being grown on the North Shore of Oahu—as well as a look back at life on the plantation.
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The Hydrangea Bush
The big, bountiful blooms are abundant on Cape Cod, and available in hundreds of varieties. Mo Rocca tiptoes through the hydrangeas, and talks with aficionados to learn the secrets to growing these showy summer shrubs.
The picture above is of a hydrangea bush on our grounds that I took a few weeks ago.
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