Question
My 72-year-old mother is ordering and shipping cell phones to a person and others she met online and has never met to other countries. We have confronted her and she continues to do this. At one point, she owed over $1,000 for phones, and her account had to be closed due to lack of payment. She is not senile, and we have had many discussions and she promised not to do it again. Obviously, the behavior has continued. However, she paid a $300 cell phone bill and did not have enough money to pay her rent. She is on a fixed income and has no savings or assets. We are continually having to cover her expenses. How do we put an end to this?
Answer
Your mom is definitely involved in a scam, and from my 18 years’ experience, it's very difficult to convince some people to stop. These criminals are skilled at what they do, and they have overtaken your mom's cognitive thinking and they are making her think emotionally, with possible fear tactics. I'm not sure from your message how this scam started, but I imagine it was either they claimed that she won a sweepstakes or that they fell in love with her and need these phones for various payment or to stay in communication with her.
If you haven't already, please report this to your local law enforcement and/or file a complaint with ic3.gov or call your local FBI office. What we want to focus on now is getting your mom to STOP sending these phones, and if she realizes that law enforcement is involved, it might jar her into the seriousness of this.
I can imagine you are frustrated and even a little angry, however when speaking with your mom, it's recommended to lead with compassion and empathy. From my experience working with families’ anger towards the victim doesn't help them open up and trust. Remember the criminal is telling them one story in their ear and they are trying to turn your mom against her family. These stories are far too common and we sadly hear them all the time.
Please do not hesitate to call the AARP Fraud Watch Helpline at 1-877-908-3360 and ask to speak to a fraud specialist who can provide you with more support and guidance.
Here is a family that shared their story with AARP. I'm sure you will find some of the feelings similar. https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/info-2019/mother-conned-sweepstakes.html
*Part of the Ask the Expert series with Amy Nofziger on Identity Theft and Cybersecurity Scams, October 2019. Learn more tips and/or share your stories in our Scams & Fraud forum.
