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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Happy Tuesday young men.
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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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I hope you have found someone to have a social life with since the passing of your lonely wife. Don't be shame to reach out to talk to someone when you feel lonely. From a Gifted Spirit.😇
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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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I would love to chat with you. I am in the same boat. My husband passed away a few years ago. I have no idea what to say to a man. Maybe we can practice together lol. 

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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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IHi Duddley--

I'm basically in the same boat -- although my wife of almost 30 years decided she had enough and divorced me last year.  She took every penny that she could.  I'm devastated on so many levels from emotional to financial.  I'm a bit older than you -- 64 and have the same thoughts that you do.  I'm hoping to find a second significant other -- but it's very difficult here in CT.  I've met lots of women online at dating websites -- but so far nothing has panned out.  I'm beginning to feel that I might have to live the rest of my life alone.  You're lucky in one respect -- God took your wife which was out of your control.  My wife just left -- and I gave her no reason to do so. 


n Response to What's a lonely old guy to do ??:
I was happily married for 40 years and, two years ago, my wife passed away. I've been alone ever since. I'd love to be lucky enough to meet the 2nd potential love of my life but I was so content with life with my wife that, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to communicate with anyone to forge a meaningful relationship. I plan on moving back to Greenville, S.C. in the near future to be closer to my children, grand children, and great grand children. I am hoping that this move will begin a new chapter in my life but I am concerned that I may just continue living from day to day (as I do now) and not have anything change for the better. I'm only 62 so I have a lot of living yet to do but I am confused as to how to change my approach to love, life, and the endeavor to enjoy the future. I lost almost everything in the few years leading up to my wife's passing which leaves me feeling quite inadequate in a lot of ways. I wasn't prepared for the sharp downturn that the economy took. Basicly, I'm seeking any advice that may turn my personal outlook around. I can't rid myself of this feeling that life will never be anywhere near the same as it was in happier times. I don't want to just keep sitting around and waiting for something wonderful to happen in my life. In the last 2 years, I have come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer an option and it's time to take control of my life but where do I start? It would be nice to be able to turn the clock back 40 years because I really don't know how to be 62 and single. 
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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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In Response to What's a lonely old guy to do ??:Hey, clocks nor time goes back so you got to keep living.  Your post sounds as if you are on your way to a new life.  You are saying the right things.  Join a gym, social groups and have a ball.  Mature people are getting together all over. God be with you.    




I was happily married for 40 years and, two years ago, my wife passed away. I've been alone ever since. I'd love to be lucky enough to meet the 2nd potential love of my life but I was so content with life with my wife that, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to communicate with anyone to forge a meaningful relationship. I plan on moving back to Greenville, S.C. in the near future to be closer to my children, grand children, and great grand children. I am hoping that this move will begin a new chapter in my life but I am concerned that I may just continue living from day to day (as I do now) and not have anything change for the better. I'm only 62 so I have a lot of living yet to do but I am confused as to how to change my approach to love, life, and the endeavor to enjoy the future. I lost almost everything in the few years leading up to my wife's passing which leaves me feeling quite inadequate in a lot of ways. I wasn't prepared for the sharp downturn that the economy took. Basicly, I'm seeking any advice that may turn my personal outlook around. I can't rid myself of this feeling that life will never be anywhere near the same as it was in happier times. I don't want to just keep sitting around and waiting for something wonderful to happen in my life. In the last 2 years, I have come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer an option and it's time to take control of my life but where do I start? It would be nice to be able to turn the clock back 40 years because I really don't know how to be 62 and single. 
Posted by Duddits

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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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They also have grief support groups through churches, that help people move forward and on with their lives. Smiley Happy  I know, I have a sister in another state who heads up a grief support group.  I've been divorced now for 13 years, when I get lonely, I find something to occupy my mind.  I feel if it's meant for me to NOT be single, someone will come along.  It's very nice to hear that people are married 40 yrs.  I admire that when I see couples still hand in hand.  Too much divorce today.  I've tried the dating scene, but people just aren't raised like they were years ago.  lol

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In Response to What's a lonely old guy to do ??:
I was happily married for 40 years and, two years ago, my wife passed away. I've been alone ever since. I'd love to be lucky enough to meet the 2nd potential love of my life but I was so content with life with my wife that, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to communicate with anyone to forge a meaningful relationship. I plan on moving back to Greenville, S.C. in the near future to be closer to my children, grand children, and great grand children. I am hoping that this move will begin a new chapter in my life but I am concerned that I may just continue living from day to day (as I do now) and not have anything change for the better. I'm only 62 so I have a lot of living yet to do but I am confused as to how to change my approach to love, life, and the endeavor to enjoy the future. I lost almost everything in the few years leading up to my wife's passing which leaves me feeling quite inadequate in a lot of ways. I wasn't prepared for the sharp downturn that the economy took. Basicly, I'm seeking any advice that may turn my personal outlook around. I can't rid myself of this feeling that life will never be anywhere near the same as it was in happier times. I don't want to just keep sitting around and waiting for something wonderful to happen in my life. In the last 2 years, I have come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer an option and it's time to take control of my life but where do I start? It would be nice to be able to turn the clock back 40 years because I really don't know how to be 62 and single. 
Posted by Duddits


Have you tried the dating sites?  I am new to AARP, so I'm not sure, but think I saw a place on here to meet and date.

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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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It's not easy to make changes in your life, and your loss is a huge one. I understand how helpless you feel. There's no easy answer, or one-size-fits-all recipe. I think the main thing is to start making changes in your life. Any kind of changes, since  big ones will probably naturally follow the little ones. You had a way of life for 40 years that was probably full of routines, and losing your partner has put a big hole in those routines. It might work better for you to change your routines and assumptions -- start over by dismantling the whole shebang -- instead of just trying to find someone to fill the hole your wife left and trying to continue with the old routines. Use this time as an opportunity to explore not just the world you haven't experienced yet, but yourself. Try something really new, instead of telling yourself  "I never..." "I don't do that" or "I'm afraid to..."  Think "Let's see what this is like." Push yourself. You can't make another wonderful partner find you, though you can go out and mingle as often as possible. The danger in being focused on finding a new love every time you go out is that you could return home feeling defeated and depressed if you don't meet anybody special that night/day! So you'll possibly go out with high hopes and come home feeling awful. So while you're getting out there, DON"T focus on who you might meet. Tell yourself you're starting a new life, exploring the world and yourself, having "me time" and get to work on your "bucket list". Try the things you only fantacized about, and try things you never fantacized about but that present themselves as opportunities. And focus on the things you can control to help yourself break your feeling of helplessness. .......things like exercising, or learning something new. Anything like that will pay off in SOME kind of dividend that doesn't depend on somebody else. If you don't meet somebody for some time, at least you'll be having new experiences and others will see you as exciting to be with. Sometimes when I feel lonely, I ask myself what I need to do about it. Maybe I need to go out for a walk, to the gym, or head to the kitchen to invent a new recipe. Maybe plan a trip somewhere. Finish a project. Or take myself to dinner. Or to a spa or a movie. And when you are feeling really lousy and desperate to get away from the pain, DON"T RUN AWAY FROM IT. GO THROUGH IT. Nothing makes grief from loss feel worse than telling yourself "I should be over that by now" or "I don't want to feel any more pain!" Plenty of people will not want to hear your unhappiness because they will feel something of their own they don't want to feel. But don't let your own grief panic you. Swear at the injustice of it, cry like a baby, even in public if you feel so moved. Wail like a frustrated two year-old.  And then do what you can, taking it one day at a time. Try to see possibilities where you didn't see them before. Be an explorer in your own life. And try reading "Zen and the Art of Happiness". It isn't a magic bullet, but it might help you refocus yourself.
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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Message 9 of 14
II agree with Oldgraymare!! The Library is a great place to meet new Ladies, I too am very sorry for your loss!!! The Grocery Store would be a good place and yes the Senior Center too, they have all kinds of things that go on there too, book reading, crafts, cards, dancing, dining, movies, I need to join one myself, I should talk, lol hope you find your happiness soon Laughing  Hope this helped a little bit!
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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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My condolences to you on your loss.  Have faith...you will learn from this experience and grow in new ways. 
The advice given by others here is excellent.  Don't be discouraged...there are many here who understand.


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