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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Message 11 of 14

First of all, I can appreciate your loss because I experienced a similar situation and respect what you’ve gone through and what you are now going through. I remember a time about a year and a half after my wife passed when I was sitting working at my computer one Saturday night when a commercial came on TV in the background advertising a dating website. Now I’m not necessarily advocating dating websites (that’s a totally different controversial subject) but the point I want you to get is this. While I was doing this it came to my attention that what I had initially experienced as grief had eventually turned into loneliness. I had no idea what I was going to do about it.  In the following subsequent years I did the dating website action along with social networking sites, singles groups, meet up groups, being “fixed up” by friends, joining community and civic organizations along with many other practices. Some turned out to result in pleasant experiences while others created some horror stories that I now have the ability to find in most cases humorous.

Over the years I’ve learned a lot. But the best way for me to share them with you is to tell you this. I am the administrator of a group here in the AARP Community called “Single and Mingle” (I’ll link the groups discussion board below). Believe me, this subject comes up with great regularity. There have been a number a very good answers and I would encourage you to stop by the group, go through and read of few of the existing discussions and maybe you can get some ideas in answer to your question. I would suggest you randomly pick about thirty or so based on the discussion title. 

One more thing that I have discovered over the years is “LOCATION” is a very important and often overlooked factor. By that I mean, the chances of finding someone, let along start a relationship, is greatly subject to where one lives. For example, someone living in an extremely rural area has a much less likely chance than someone living in a major metropolitan area. I don’t mean that living in a rural area leaves one high and dry, it just means it can and probably will be considerably more difficult.

By the way, I’m older than you by two years. I’ve been widowed for eleven years and despite the ups and downs I find myself having a very positive outlook on life. I trust that you will eventually be able to find that as well and hope for you the best of luck in your quest.
~!~
John / jcofla
Group Host, Single and Mingle

(Here’s the link to the group discussion page:

http://www.aarp.org/online-community/groups/index.action?slPage=showDiscussion&slGroupKey=Group14062... )

 

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Re: What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Message 12 of 14
Hi Duddits,

I am very sorry for the loss of your dear wife. That is a huge loss. Plus, you also suffered an economic loss too, and that is not easy, either.

You reached out here,and that takes courage to do that. I admire you for that.

Some things came to my mind where you cna meet new people, both where you are now, and again after you move.

Think about your hobbies and interests. There may be local groups in your area that meet that involve something that you like to do. 

For example, if you like to read, your local library may have various book clubs that meet there.

Do you have a Senior Center in your area, where you can go and take part in some activities? Ours offers day trips, crafts, movies, etc.

There is also a website called MeetUp.com that also offerrs various groups of interest in different cities across the country, where you can meet others and make new friends. 

For example, you may find a Meet Up that offers a book club for the area that you are in. Or you may find a Meet Up for socializing, where peiple get toether and go out to eat in a group. 

Anyway, those are just some ideas that I wanted to share with you for meeting others. 

I wish you all of the best. 


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What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Message 13 of 14
I was happily married for 40 years and, two years ago, my wife passed away. I've been alone ever since. I'd love to be lucky enough to meet the 2nd potential love of my life but I was so content with life with my wife that, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to communicate with anyone to forge a meaningful relationship. I plan on moving back to Greenville, S.C. in the near future to be closer to my children, grand children, and great grand children. I am hoping that this move will begin a new chapter in my life but I am concerned that I may just continue living from day to day (as I do now) and not have anything change for the better.

I'm only 62 so I have a lot of living yet to do but I am confused as to how to change my approach to love, life, and the endeavor to enjoy the future. I lost almost everything in the few years leading up to my wife's passing which leaves me feeling quite inadequate in a lot of ways. I wasn't prepared for the sharp downturn that the economy took.

Basicly, I'm seeking any advice that may turn my personal outlook around. I can't rid myself of this feeling that life will never be anywhere near the same as it was in happier times. I don't want to just keep sitting around and waiting for something wonderful to happen in my life. In the last 2 years, I have come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer an option and it's time to take control of my life but where do I start? It would be nice to be able to turn the clock back 40 years because I really don't know how to be 62 and single.  Undecided
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What's a lonely old guy to do ??

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Message 13 of 14
I was happily married for 40 years and, two years ago, my wife passed away. I've been alone ever since. I'd love to be lucky enough to meet the 2nd potential love of my life but I was so content with life with my wife that, somewhere along the way, I forgot how to communicate with anyone to forge a meaningful relationship. I plan on moving back to Greenville, S.C. in the near future to be closer to my children, grand children, and great grand children. I am hoping that this move will begin a new chapter in my life but I am concerned that I may just continue living from day to day (as I do now) and not have anything change for the better.

I'm only 62 so I have a lot of living yet to do but I am confused as to how to change my approach to love, life, and the endeavor to enjoy the future. I lost almost everything in the few years leading up to my wife's passing which leaves me feeling quite inadequate in a lot of ways. I wasn't prepared for the sharp downturn that the economy took.

Basicly, I'm seeking any advice that may turn my personal outlook around. I can't rid myself of this feeling that life will never be anywhere near the same as it was in happier times. I don't want to just keep sitting around and waiting for something wonderful to happen in my life. In the last 2 years, I have come to the conclusion that waiting is no longer an option and it's time to take control of my life but where do I start? It would be nice to be able to turn the clock back 40 years because I really don't know how to be 62 and single.  Undecided
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