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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

Message 21 of 24

For those of you who are tired of being alone I empathize. I lost my wife of 52 years to cancer. I had not dated for, here goes, more than a half century. I was alone for a while and at 73 my chances of finding some one was declining with my age. To add insult to injury I had to call my 47 year old son to see what the rules were.


I quickly enliminated bar hopping, church and friends. That left living by my self, standing on the corner with a sign, or going on the Internet. I decided to join a dating site for seniors. I am fairly tech savvy so the mechanics of the search were easy. Figuring out who I was and what I wanted was the hard part then writing that with a semblance of understanding was daunting as well.


Then came the pictures. I seldom was in our pictures I was the picture taker, so I had to have someone take them for me.


I hit the enter button and was out there. Trust me on this there are a lot of very nice women out there. As irishmist says "dare to do something" and that means get out there and seek dates. After one mistaken relationship, I regrouped, refocused, and hit the dating scene again. This time I knew who and what I was seeking as well as I knew what my deal killers were. 


I dated about 12 to 15 very nice women before I found the one that knocked my boots off. Unlike the recommendations, our first date was 8.5 hours long. I had scheduled a four week cruise to get away from it all and do some writing. Through email and phone calls we fostered feeling for each other and fell. In love. We have been togather now for going on two years. 


Love is out there, however it will not fall in your lap. Be willing to follow irishmist's comments, be sure you 8nderstand what you want, a be sure you never compromise on your deal killers.


Now get out there.



Webster Russell
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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

Message 22 of 24
Great advice thank you so much!

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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

Message 23 of 24
This is so true and well written. Thanks for posting this.

From one tired of kissing frogs,
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Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

Message 24 of 24

Gentlemen - I am 4 years out as a widow and back in the dating scene. Here's some advice from my experience the last year.

1. Life is not high school. Act mature. You are missing out on a LOT of great women because you still think the prom queen is waiting for you. Really?

2. Take a look at yourself in the mirror - are you neat, clean, haircut, clothes pressed, beard trimmed? Seriously - please make an effort. We don't care about the belly or the bald spot - we DO care about someone who takes a shower and brushes his teeth.

3. Act interesting as well as be interested! Some of you are advertising for mothers, nurses, and maids - not friends and partners. It shows. If you can't initiate a conversation at this point, and ask questions about her and her life....what makes you think we are willing to do the same?  We may be lonely, but we are not desperate.

4. We get you all like football, cars, and NASCAR. So - go enjoy it. We don't have to be joined at the hip.  Hopefully, if we TALK we will find mutual likes, etc.

5. Drop the "I don't do drama" line. This has to be the most selfish line ever written because what you are really saying is that you never figured out how to discuss and resolve a conflict with another human being, and you are not even willing to try. And you say you are ready for a relationship?

6. Be OK in terms of taking care of yourself; it's not about a lot of money; it's about knowing what to do with what you have. Take care of your business. It's how you build trust with us.

7. Great physical intimacy isn't always about an erection. It's about being willing to be romantic; it's about touching; it's about exploring; it's about deriving pleasure from what you CAN give as much as from what you can get. Buy a book - read about it. Or better yet, ASK us.

8. Don't lie, cheat, steal, etc. It's wrong. And you don't have to; believe us when we tell you, we women have been through so much by this time in our lives, we can smell a line of BS at 50 paces. Save us all the time and trouble. You want want to go - tell us and go. We will eat a pint of ice cream this time, and go to bed. The sun will still rise in the morning and set at night.

9. Life on this side of the line is shorter - we ALL could use a lot more laughter, love, great sex, and someone that cares in our lives.  We are ALL looking for each other. What we need you to do is clean your window and let us really see you as you are.

10. Life IS shorter - stop wasting time. Ask. Dare to start something. Do something - ANYTHING. Just don't sit there and let us pass by.

Seriously, guys. Seriously.


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