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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

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WoW!  I wish this were posted on all the dating sites.   Says it all.    Thanks!

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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

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finally someone who gets the whole picture.. I wish i would have meet you a long time ago.. 

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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

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I agree. Great lesson learned 🙂

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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

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Thank you for the words of encouragement. You are right, there is no reason to beat myself up over the end of my marriages, they were great lessons to learn and I am very grateful for them. My point was that, at first I blamed my partners for the "failure", but, in the ned, I needed to understand what I was disfunction I was bringing to the realationship dance that contributed to its demise. I think this is a lesson that will help me greatly as I seek a new partner. 

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GuillimeroV606235 said "that after two failed marriages that each lasted 20 years . . . " I will stop right there on quoting you and would like to make a comment. I think 20-year marriages are a success story. You may have had children with the first marriage. I am sure the second marriage had many good years, too. Life is a long journey and maybe those marriages ran their course. Please don't beat yourself up and talk about failure. People are imperfect and whether you or your spouse was the primary cause of the marriage ending, I think you had two good runs, and you gained some knoweldge about yourself. Be kind to yourself and bless you!

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Re: Some Real World Dating Advice for Men Over 50

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I think the desire for a more meaningful relationship came to me much later, after the hormones stopped raging so much. It certainly is a priority now!.

 

After two failed long term marriages (both lasted twenty years), I had to start looking at what I was bringing into the relationship that was helping them fail. What I discovered was that I was projecting a self belief that I was not worthy of love, so I attracted partners who helped strengthen that belief. 

 

I am sixty-seven and, like you, I am looking for a meaningful anf fulfilling relationship but, I am doing so aremed with the lesson I finally learned; if you don't learn to love yourself first, no one else will be able to do it for you. I have been learning to love and appreciate myself. I also know how to love and appreciate someone else. I beleive this will help me attract a better match.

 

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2beingme: I believe everyone wants what you want if they are really in touch with their desires. Does anybody want a superficial relationship? I think not. Even as a young adult, I wanted a meaningful relationship and I found it. Those who want a superficial relationship do not know what they are missing out on. Keep up the search. Learn what works and doesn't work. Do a self-examination to see how you could make the situation better. Maybe the answer is nothing. Don't give up. Keep the candle in your heart burning and someone will be attracted to it.

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Dandee76 said, "When you get to be my age (86) you settle down and work and live to serve others, to leave the world a little better than you found it and garner for yourself as much peace of mind as you can." Wow! What a wonderful philosophy for life at any age! Although I am 20 years younger, I hope that during this time of gift-giving, that the gifts I am given are small, meaningful, and not expensive. I want gift-givers to spend their resources for a different and more meaningful way than on me. I am very happy with words of cheer, companionship, and a hug. Let's all work on "making the world a better place" even if it is a small activity in your own neighborhood. Another way to serve others is to be a postive example that others will want to follow.

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Ooohhh!!! Wise words dandee76!!! All good things to remember and practice everyday.
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One of the magnificent things about human beings is that we have the ability to choose.  Perhaps you can't change the external circumstances, but you can choose how you perceive a situation and how you approach it.  The problem is not the problem, its how you cope with a situation that makes it either positive or negative.  Events in and of themselves can either be good for bad, but what's important is what you make of them.  If you decide to live your life more consciously, then everything - yes, everything - beomes an opportunity for growth and transformation.

 

One of the characteristics of maturity is recognizing that the outcome of any given situation is far less important than how you cope with the challenge.  The next time you find yourself in a tricky situation, challenge yourself to wring every ounce of meaning out of the circumstance - no matter how disappointing, how unpleasant, how discouraging - no matter what.  Use everything in your life to learn more about yourself.

 

At  my age I am still learning about myself at age 86 and creating more of what I want.  I work out at the local gym three days a week, take two dancing classes, am on two bowling teams and still work in an office as secretary two days a week.  Do I miss my late husband?  Oh yes - I sure do - he was a sweetheart.  But I am still living and I have a choice to enjoy life or to sit and think about what I "used to have". 

 

Rember that when you leave this dear earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received; only what you have given:  a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage.

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