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Re: Sex life in toilet

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Where do you live

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@lm74598395 

Hey Im 

Saw you kudoed my wild post on other thread... now see you here...curious?? Who are you posting your comment to? All posts are old???? 

The things you said (hopefully not meant sarcastic?) anyway those are nice things....but to this 60 year youngishold woman I don't require all that....What I miss most is ((((HUGS)))) then trips took and just plain having someone to talk to and enjoy their company...Simple I am....Plus don't think many chances of sharing life with another for 25 or 50 years...so should be free of all those young long ago hangups...just enjoying life as who we are all that matters... no more fixing or shaping each other cause I am pretty set in my ways by now Ha ha Life is far too short for all that crazy nonsense...Enjoy every beautiful moment we are blessed with! 

Ginger : ) 

PS: I didn't read all post here so it very well may be a manly thread but this woman's sex life in toilet so reckon I qualify Smiley Frustrated

"May your troubles be less....your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door" : )
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@noblefool 

Wise wise words I so hope you reached him in time...& he waited & they rediscovered each other...I have read many of your posts printed some they touched me so much...these are from 2017 but still effect me....oh how I wish I still had my marriage of almost 20 years but he wanted a change & made changes when left lost weight quit smoking ....why these couldn't happen with me I'll never know He married quickly (22months after left) 9 months after divorced ...its been 5 years and I 've managed ok...although losing person thought was gift from God not sure I will ever trust & could believe again & I will never understand after all the years how a person chooses to just quit and lose all the history & memories ...things you mention...some feel so easy to start over....I disagree....yep have move on if given no choice but I believe you should always hang in....Also if move on too fast you carry the same you into new relationship and in time be a lot the same...at least I feel this way. 

Thanks Noble for your great shares...I hope you have found that someone special. 

Have a great one,

Ginger : )

"May your troubles be less....your blessings be more and nothing but happiness come through your door" : )
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Re: Sex life in toilet

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more time to do it yourself or look back on what a woman wants in a romantic aire. Be a knight in shining armour..be a john trevolta dance..hide poems or notes... a mint on the pillow.. a flower in her favorite coffee cup... a walk in the back yard on a starfilled nite oh and don't forget the blanket...your fifty you're not dead yet my favorite is the soft tendor french kiss with the firm hug oh and it's not a quicky either 

 

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Re: Sex life in toilet

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Well Hello there!     Did I show up too late?      Sometimes it’s hard to find people when there are so many addresses in AARP.

 

 

I see you have lost some weight.   50lb.s, that’s great!  What an accomplishment at 50 years old!  Seems funny how the years can put some extra pounds on a person without us evening knowing it.   The medical profession is always telling us to watch our weight and to stay in shape to help live long and healthy lives. Some of us get lucky and lose weight easy and some of us have to work like a dog to get rid of a pound over a month’s time.

 

 

So…………………………………….I see there are some issues about this new found concern you have. Let me ask you this:

 

“If you had NOT lost any weight would you still be asking the same question?”

“Would you still be concerned with your intimacy level with your wife if you still weighed 300lbs?”

 

 

My thoughts will not change as to how you answer the above questions, but I just want to make sure you have asked these questions to yourself.

 

 

I am 54 years old so I can relate as to what some of your thoughts are and as to what some of your concerns are. As to where your final destination is, well I guess that will all be up to you.  I hope I have not showed up too late and if you would be so kind and consider another fools advice.

 

So, I see you have been married for 31 years. 31 years!  What an accomplishment for 2 people to spend their lives together for that long. Too bad my ex-wife and I only made it 23.  Maybe I could have made it for 31 years if someone would have got to me first before I listened to myself. 

 

Anyhow, you said you have 3 children, me too! My wife had a boy and two girls. What a miracle these women perform, would you not agree? Women can carry life within them; sacrifice a part of them selves and to bring those lives onto this earth through great pain and suffering. A woman giving birth, a miracle only they can do I tell ya.

 

Kind of funny this age we are at around the 50’s. Sometimes our internal clocks go off and we start thinking in different directions. I found myself thinking about time and how what time I had left might be running out. What I didn’t understand was that women sometimes think like we do even though we men have always been told that the opposite sexes think differently at all times.  Come to find out, women and men do think a lot alike on numerous issues, including about life and time. Men get scared, women get scared, men get emotionally hurt, and women get emotionally hurt.  The real question is as to when does the issue/concern happen or come to the surface in the individual’s life (man or woman) , and at what age?

 

You have simply reached your individual moment of questioning or concerns about you. I think your wife is trying to catch up to your questions or your concerns. She may not be processing or understanding your concerns just yet and it may take her some time to catch up to your thoughts and concerns. Please understand from one who knows, it is NOT that she does not care, or she does not love you (you said she told you she still loves you, believe and trust her!), she is just a few steps behind you trying to catch up.

 

Step back from yourself for a moment and see thru her eyes………………………………

 

……………….she is watching her husband lose weight, which is a physical change, she is in a sense watching you go back to what you looked like when you were younger. I bet you do look younger dropping 50lbs., you probably feel good about yourself and you should. I bet your smile is even shows more confidence and once again I commend you on the weight loss.

 

You also are getting healthy, lets face it losing weight and being in shape is a healthier lifestyle, and that’s a good thing. And there are many studies and proven data that show for both older men and women who maintain a good weight balance and that eat healthier have lets just say have MORE energy for certain things in life. (I am sure you get my meaning)

 

So…………. there is your wife sitting in a chair seeing all this new change in you and probably real happy for you. She sees a younger, leaner, healthier, more confident smiling man, and husband she has not seen for some years………………………

 

…………………… And at the same time she might be thinking to herself what in the heck happened to her? Her thinking she can’t lose a pound no matter how hard she works or what she does to work it off, no matter how or what she eats, and in the end how in the heck is she gone to catch up to you. Her sitting there wondering what is she gone to do for you. Her possibly wondering why would you even want her at all and maybe could go as deep as to why would you even want to be married to her.  She probably is not blaming you…………………………yet.   And here is where I think things could start getting a little strange and lead into worse things, trust me on this, you don't want it to get worse or it to go deeper!……………

 

Man to man, I am telling you that if she lost some weight, felt well about her “mental and physical” being, the same as you do, you 2 would get some fires restarted. It’s hard to say exactly how to help her to get on the same page as you at this point, but some of the alternatives or advice you have been told, will only further damage what you have with your wife and cause further disappointment.

 

 I suggest “soft” conversations with her, love her = show her you love her, hold her hand just to hold her hand and watch TV together, kiss her on the ear once in a while, I don’t know, maybe………………………, maybe get her some favorite flowers on a day she doesn’t expect it just to let her know you love her………………….stop her in the middle of the grocery store (pick an aisle, who cares) then smile and tell her you love her………………………………whatever or wherever you do it, do it because you love her, NOT because you want to get intimate or want to have sex.  She will know when you mean it, she can see into your heart, and if you are sincere, she will see it, and in time she will come back, just give her time. (not in a week or a few months, might take longer but not as long as you think)

 

 

1296x728_Intimacy_is_more_than_sex_IMAGE_5.jpg

 

 

 

You have some choices to make at this point…………………………………………

Is your 31 year marriage important to you? Is the mother of your 3 children important to you?  

 

Is the woman that said yes to you 31 years ago important to you?

 

Are your needs above the woman who you have loved, confided in, and worked together to last for last 31 years?

 

All the holidays together, the birthdays, the vacations, the family settings, the laughs and the tears, all the good and the bad, all the wrongs/rights and struggles you both went through, are you really willing to take a chance and throw it all away?

 

Are you really ready to sacrifice and lose 31 years of your life history to some new found vitality and trade it in for some moments of fruitless games with strangers or people of whom you have no idea of what or who they are?

 

The reason I have asked you the questions above is because if I had asked these same questions to myself, I would have still been married and not here trying to convince you to not worry about intimacy as much as you are. She still loves you and is still with you and that’s all that matters.

 

Please hear me, trust me, you might still make it to this side of the road with me, my side is for us that are divorced, that side your on right now is for married people, and you’re swaying towards the middle of the road.

 

I just ask you to think it thru and be sure…………. while you still have control of the steering wheel at the moment.

 

I think you still love your wife, walk with her, encourage her; you went 31 years, go a few more, let her catch up to you.

 

Question is, will you wait for her???????

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Re: Sex life in toilet

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Message 7 of 13
Find some "outside help." As long as you take precautions, you'll be OK. You also need to be careful to not get snared by a blackmailer. In fact, discuss your situation with your wife, and get her "OK" for your extramarital adventures. If she won't give it, see an attorney and look forward to enjoying a healthy sex life with new, exciting women. If you have no intentions of doing the above, no intentions of leaving your wife, as stated, then suffer in silence knowing that your odds of getting prostate cancer will skyrocket if you don't have a sexual outlet. Get into porn, get an anatomically correct "aid," and get into your own rhythm. Good luck!
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Message 8 of 13

Has your wife been to a bariatric specialist, to see why she's not losing weight, if she's eating right & exercising? Something isn't adding up.


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Message 9 of 13

She does try very hard to lose weight. She eats better than I do, goes to the gym twice as much as I do . It was much easier for me to lose the weight but is that my fault? I think I have been very supportive to her but she just does not want to be intimate. I am a pleasing partner , I am not selfish during intimacy and actually I get as much pleasure out of my partner being pleasured so I am at a loss. We both do the shopping sometimes together and sometimes apart. She says she still loves me, but she just has no desire for intimacy

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Message 10 of 13

Not wanting to be intimate in a marriage isn't "normal". She may feel threatened that you've lost weight but she hasn't, and you will judge her if you're intimate. You say she "can't lose weight" .. unless she has a medical condition working against her, isn't it more accurate to say she just hasn't lost weight? It couldn't have been easy for you to lose 50 lbs; is it possible that she resents that you managed to lose it .. but she hasn't? Who does the food shopping, preparation/cooking in your house?


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