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Re: Relationships & The Mighty Oak

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I agree wholeheartedly with all you are saying here. I live my life by this example. My most recent relationship ended nearly 2 years ago because my soulmate and partner was raised in a dysfunctional home and had no role models of healthy, loving relationships. The harder I tried to model a truly loving, open, communicative relationship, the more he resisted, stating he didn't trust my goodness because he had never met anyone like me before. Since the end of that relationship, I have remained close to his family, who openly discuss how sad they are to see the effect of his childhood on him. It's painful to watch. For me, it has left me feeling overly cautious of new relationships. The level of commitment I bring to relationships is rare, and I find myself not wanting to chance further heartache after investing more time with someone who might turn out to be just as damaged. My life is full with my career, family, friends, and volunteer work, but I long for a deeper connection that I fear I may never find again.
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Re: Relationships & The Mighty Oak

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Hello:
Your writing was quite lovely and all I can say is I agree I agree! I've never posted on here before but I was looking for something today to address my situation in life right now and there it was your posting on love. Yes I could go on the divorced late in life forum but I would like to put that aside and move forward. Yes I could have gone on the marriage in trouble forum but I'd rather not dwell on that so here it was...your posting on love. And in this day of quick fixes, fast communication times, digital this and virtual that it was great to be reminded of that which is so important. Our attention and time to those we love and hope to stay married to or to marry or fall in love with. Thanks for this! 

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Re: Relationships & The Mighty Oak

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gp7619 posted:

 

"If our love for each other, is to grow strong and last, we will need to feed it with respect, care and attention. It's all the collective little things we bring to our relationships over time, that make it possible for them to grow and stay healthy. Being respectful and thoughtful will always be remembered and showing our gratitude for the things we receive from the ones we love, will always be appreciated and will matter."

 

If only we all practiced these things...

 

Thank you for your insightful post.  ~  Mimi

“The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking."
War With Honour, 1940 ~ A.A. Milne
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Re: Relationships

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In response to "Re: Relationships":
I believe you put some time and effort into this article. Thank you for sharing it, and yes, the words are very meaningful, & it sounds like you have had a lasting relationship with someone. May I ask how long? -James
Posted by desertsun

Actually James my former spouse of 19 years, divorced me eleven years ago and left our 10 year old son with me to raise. We are both doing well, my son is in his junior year as a civil engineering student at a major university and I am in the process of building a new retirement home for myself. The words in my article ( %Relationships and The Mighty Oak) reflect my thoughts and feeling of what it takes to have a healthy loving relationship. Even though my relationship with my son's mother failed, I have never changed my opinion of the importance of being respectful, open and honest with those closest to us. My words are meant to invoke self reflection and to bring to light the importance of being open and honest with those closest to us.
Thank you for responding,
George
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I believe you put some time and effort into this article. Thank you for sharing it, and yes, the words are very meaningful, & it sounds like you have had a lasting relationship with someone. May I ask how long? -James
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Relationships & The Mighty Oak

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% Relationships & The Mighty Oak.
One of the most difficult and demanding things in life, is trying to manage the relationships we share with those around us. There is nothing more complex than the human mind. Our ability to reason, think, feel, perceive and judge are all processes of the human mind. Our minds give us the intellectual power we need, to remember, recall and process the events of our lives. All of which, helps in molding who it is, we become.
So it should be of no surprise to anyone, that managing any relationship, would have its challenges, and would require some work on our part. Given that there are literally billions of people on earth, all of whom which have, individual life experiences and individual minds. It's no wonder, why having a healthy relationship with another, could be so daunting and challenging.
Which brings me to one of the most important relationships many of us will ever have, the one we share with the person we hope to spend our lives with, our soul mates. I believe that every living soul wants to love and be loved by someone. How will we ever find that special someone, and when we do, how can we ensure that our relationship with them will grow and flourish?
Which now brings me to the subject of love, which is, a profound, tender, and passionate affection for another. And is, precisely what happens to us, when we meet someone we hope to spend the remainder of our lives with.
Love and the the ensuing relationship that follows after meeting that special someone, is not so different from the journey of the mighty oak tree. When they both begin, they are quite frail, fragile, and vulnerable to just about everything. If either are to survive, developed and grow, it will take a great deal of nurturing, care and some luck.
Love in the beginning, like the mighty oak, is not much more than a small twig. It's a modest start, with great hopes of growing to be big and strong. For this to happen, it will need constant care. The reasons why we fall in love with another, are as varied as we are as individuals. It could have something to do with there intellect, personality, charm, wit or possibly their looks. Whatever it is, that helped us fall in love, it serves only as a beginning, love will not last, unless we take care of it over time.
If our love for each other, is to grow strong and last, we will need to feed it with respect, care and attention. It's all the collective little things we bring to our relationships over time, that make it possible for them to grow and stay healthy. Being respectful and thoughtful will always be remembered and showing our gratitude for the things we receive from the ones we love, will always be appreciated and will matter.
Allowing the ones we love, to be who it is they are, without trying to mold them into who we may want them to be, is helpful. Supporting the aspirations of the ones we love, and encouraging them to become all they can in life, is important. Being accountable to the one your love, and being accountable to the relationship you share with them, is absolutely paramount. Learn to express yourself openly and honestly. If you do, you will have created a solid foundation to build from, and will likely enjoy a long healthy relationship.
You see, it's all the little things we do for each other, over a long period of time, that allows our trust and love for each other to grow. If we pay attention, and take care of our relationships, each little thing we do for each other will add a branch the the tiny twig we began with, and with enough time and care, our love and respect for each other, will like the oak tree, grow to be mighty and strong.
Warmest Regards;
G. Poszich
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Relationships & The Mighty Oak

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% Relationships & The Mighty Oak.
One of the most difficult and demanding things in life, is trying to manage the relationships we share with those around us. There is nothing more complex than the human mind. Our ability to reason, think, feel, perceive and judge are all processes of the human mind. Our minds give us the intellectual power we need, to remember, recall and process the events of our lives. All of which, helps in molding who it is, we become.
So it should be of no surprise to anyone, that managing any relationship, would have its challenges, and would require some work on our part. Given that there are literally billions of people on earth, all of whom which have, individual life experiences and individual minds. It's no wonder, why having a healthy relationship with another, could be so daunting and challenging.
Which brings me to one of the most important relationships many of us will ever have, the one we share with the person we hope to spend our lives with, our soul mates. I believe that every living soul wants to love and be loved by someone. How will we ever find that special someone, and when we do, how can we ensure that our relationship with them will grow and flourish?
Which now brings me to the subject of love, which is, a profound, tender, and passionate affection for another. And is, precisely what happens to us, when we meet someone we hope to spend the remainder of our lives with.
Love and the the ensuing relationship that follows after meeting that special someone, is not so different from the journey of the mighty oak tree. When they both begin, they are quite frail, fragile, and vulnerable to just about everything. If either are to survive, developed and grow, it will take a great deal of nurturing, care and some luck.
Love in the beginning, like the mighty oak, is not much more than a small twig. It's a modest start, with great hopes of growing to be big and strong. For this to happen, it will need constant care. The reasons why we fall in love with another, are as varied as we are as individuals. It could have something to do with there intellect, personality, charm, wit or possibly their looks. Whatever it is, that helped us fall in love, it serves only as a beginning, love will not last, unless we take care of it over time.
If our love for each other, is to grow strong and last, we will need to feed it with respect, care and attention. It's all the collective little things we bring to our relationships over time, that make it possible for them to grow and stay healthy. Being respectful and thoughtful will always be remembered and showing our gratitude for the things we receive from the ones we love, will always be appreciated and will matter.
Allowing the ones we love, to be who it is they are, without trying to mold them into who we may want them to be, is helpful. Supporting the aspirations of the ones we love, and encouraging them to become all they can in life, is important. Being accountable to the one your love, and being accountable to the relationship you share with them, is absolutely paramount. Learn to express yourself openly and honestly. If you do, you will have created a solid foundation to build from, and will likely enjoy a long healthy relationship.
You see, it's all the little things we do for each other, over a long period of time, that allows our trust and love for each other to grow. If we pay attention, and take care of our relationships, each little thing we do for each other will add a branch the the tiny twig we began with, and with enough time and care, our love and respect for each other, will like the oak tree, grow to be mighty and strong.
Warmest Regards;
G. Poszich
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