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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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I have a friend like you. It seems you compartmentalize love and sex. My guess is you are accustomed to the first and inexperienced with the latter. Maybe those experiences have worn out the "special". Perhaps based on your frustrations with the next based relationships, not understanding the difference from a friends based love, have diminished your confidence in love. You have to believe in miracles, expect them, if they are to come. Else you won't recognize one when it arrives.
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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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i spent some time in Thailand, and you are right, the best way is hostels, or gueshouses, cheap way to stay, and free go go where you want, when you want...

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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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I agree. Most people in our age bracket seem to care more about having a solid companion, someone they can share things with, not necessarily someone they can have sex with. It sounds like you are in a pretty good situation. And I totally understand what it feels like to be emotionally Clasterphobic it is very uncomfortable..
I would rather be a lion for one day, than a sheep for a hundred years.
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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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Thank you. I've noticed that on this particular board people tend to speak their mind more than usual, but they express themselves in a much richer and mature way.
I would rather be a lion for one day, than a sheep for a hundred years.
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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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Thank you for raw honesty!  Your words speak volumes.  This lady appreciates honesty - truth I can handle - lies create an immediate wall.  Your remark about being a lion for a day as opposed to being a sheep for a hundred years is also powerful.  Your wisdom is appreciated.

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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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Thanks for the kudos Jim!

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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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I understand your ambivalence about the value of relationships. I have spent some time wondering if I am the type of man cut out for the prized long-term-relationship. Being in an LTR is seen as a sign of emotional maturity and social stability - yet I wonder if it is so. All the couples I know are not that happy with each other yet remain together for the sake of the mortgage, the dog, the social identity that comes with being part of a couple.

 

To my surprise I find myself in a relationship with a man who says he loves me; that he's always loved me. I enjoy his company and find him a good person, yet I don't feel any need for sexual expression. I believe as we age we place greater value on companionship and routine more than the electricity that can sometimes result from mere sexual attraction.

 

Yet I wonder if I'm settling for a man who's comfortable rather than one who "rings my bell." I've met plenty of those types of men -- good bodies, more money than good sense -- and they were liars and cheats.

 

What I hope the contributions to this topic have shown is that your reservations about relationships are not yours alone. What you may want to find is a person who feels the same as you and hammer out a romantic connection built on the foundation of mutual respect, trust and affection. This does not mean that you two will have to live together or even see each other every week. When you get together it will be because you both want it.

 

In my case, I'm living with the man in question. I'm feeling a bit emotionally claustrophic but I hope it will pass. For now, I will take comfort in what he and I can share. I'm sure you realize the only person who has to define your love life is you and your partner.

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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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Waoh am not marry am single but I also feel d same thing you feel
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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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How nice that you were able to maintain multiple relationships for such a long period of time. That is something to be proud of. If I feel someone is getting to close to me or they are doing things that trigger me, like whining or complaining a lot; the whole "Needy" thing I start getting very anxious and I back off. I wish I could just see it as it is, a person having a bad day (week?) but my body/mind just seems to have a mind of its own. 

I would rather be a lion for one day, than a sheep for a hundred years.
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Re: Meandering Thoughts About Relationships

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I've always believed an ugly truth trumps a beautiful lie. ( :

 

I would rather be a lion for one day, than a sheep for a hundred years.
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