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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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As you know, there are so many fish in the sea, we tend not to see them and think we are alone. Get ot of town. Do something creative and different. Stop complaining. You deserve a great relationship and you can find it. Turn to a new station. Happiness, flirting, smiling and telling people you want to know more about them.

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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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Frankly, I'm through with all this dating nonsense. Last relationship I was in with a girl 16 years my junior ended last October because I didn't answer the bloody phone (was helping my 76-year-old room mate paint her kitchen...girlfriend felt that since I was renting, I didn't have to help with anything around the house). I was ghosted for a week before she texted to tell me to removed her friends from my social media page. She lived literally half-way across the country (me in Texas, her in South Carolina). I would visit twice a year (she seemed fine with that), but she spent 80% of the time with her face in her phone and the other 20% reminding me of the speed limit. She wanted me to move there when I retired, and felt like I had to have X amount of $$$ in my retirement fund before I did. Oh, well, so much the better. She wouldn't be able to handle the desert. And my retirement fund continues to grow.

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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@ASTRAEA  Not necessarily low self-esteem...and the only person who gets to "bask" in attention is the narcissist himself...with the possible exception of the limited time the narcissist is engaged in capturing the heart of his love interest.

 

Don't forget, the narcissist wants what we all want...a love relationship.  They are charming, engaging, and whatever else they need to be in order to attract a love interest.  They are liars who believe their own lies.

 

The types of persons they are attracted to and who "fall" for them are loving, kind, generous and empathetic individuals.  Right!...they meet all of the needs of a narcissist.  The trouble is, the narcissist will never meet their needs.

 

Here is a link that offers some plain talk about narcissists and relationships.

 

http://thehappysensitive.com/narcissistic-love-versus-unconditional-love/

 

There are a lot of blogs out there dealing with this topic.  Most refer to the three stages of a narcissist's relationship...(A) idealization  (B)  devaluation and (C)  discard.  Sounds pretty cut & dried, doesn't it?  It's a pattern and they rarely deviate from it.

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@Prosecco6247 - I can't imagine anyone wanting to have a relationship with someone like that! I imagine that some celebrities are (or become narcissists). Are there some personalities that gravitate towards narcissists? Would it be someone with low self-esteem, who basks in the light & attention the narcissist gets?


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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@ASTRAEA  HA!  Too funny but it's also good thinking!  

 

Seriously, we all know people who fit the bill...some to a lesser degree and some who are in "full feather!"

 

As far as narcissism goes, I wonder if there's an epidemic???  Woman LOL  I've read that the obsession with "selfies" is an indicator of how prevalent narcissistic personalities are in today's society.

 

As the "old folks" used to say, "You can't swing a cat in any direction without hitting a half dozen of them!"

 

 

Image result for narcissist memes

 

     Image result for narcissist memes                                                              

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@Prosecco6247 - My comment was hypothetical! I definitely know I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with a narcissist; maybe if his birthday was coming, I'd buy him a mirror & run the other way! Smiley Happy


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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@ASTRAEA wrote:

@Prosecco6247 - What if you're dating & like someone .. then find out that a close relative of theirs is the narcissist? The mother who calls them hourly to talk, or for help doing the smallest things, or a sibling who wants all of their attention?


@ASTRAEA  I suppose that would depend upon how much you liked the person and what you thought the chances were for a potential serious relationship!

 

If such a relationship were to begin to develop, then you would need to steer your potential partner toward setting boundaries on his/her time and availability.  That would be a delicate maneuver, but if it were successful, then you might possibly go further and introduce the idea of looking for "coping strategies" via internet searches, self-help books and even counseling .

 

                                                        **************************************

 

Note to all:  This was envisioned to be a simple exercise in quickly identifying behaviors that might be more problematic "down the road."   Sometimes the best course of action is in recognizing a problem early and getting out of it before any real damage is done.

 

As a concept, I saw this as a topic in multiple parts, however, I'm finding that as I research material on other personality quirks or disorders, the literature seems to get more into the mode of describing the most overt cases and listing symptoms which a lay person might "misinterpret."   I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone jumping to a false conclusion or making an "armchair diagnosis."   That might possibly make the original dating issues even worse.

 

I'll keep researching and post easily readable and easily implementable information on other personality problems as available.

 

In the meantime, if you have a response you'd like to contribute, please do so.

 

 

 

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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@Prosecco6247 - What if you're dating & like someone .. then find out that a close relative of theirs is the narcissist? The mother who calls them hourly to talk, or for help doing the smallest things, or a sibling who wants all of their attention?


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Matches Made in "Hell-O!" #1

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# 1  NARCISSIST

 

Have you tried the dating thing and despair of finding someone "authentic?"  Someone you can relate to?  Someone who doesn't think the Sun, Moon and all of the Planets revolve around him/her?

 

I think it's fairly common for most of us to have had at least one or two dating experiences that seemed to spring from the place where Satan purportedly rules the roost!  

 

Yikes!  What is one to do?  For the present, the only cure is education and avoidance...unless you think there is something worth preserving in the budding relationship.  With the "Narcissists" though, be prepared for an emotional "power struggle."

 

"...Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or entertain illusions they’re capable of the give and take necessary for intimacy. In such relationships you’ll always be emotionally alone to some degree."

Read more here------------->

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201008/how-deal-narcissist

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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