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Re: Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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@BruceT48072 

Bruce Ditto to your reply

Have a great one 

Ginger  : ) 

Smiley Happy Smile & the world Smiles with you Smiley Wink Pass one on....its free
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Re: Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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Great email. Of course you are going to be sad, lonely and unmotivated. Reverse field. What did your spouse stand for? What values or interests were important?  Go off and volunteer in some organization connected to your spouse.  Sounds corny but it may lead to a path for healing and comfort.

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Re: Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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@lindag7672 

Hi Linda 

I can't speak to your loss of your husband in death but loss my husband through divorce never saw coming.... Anyway learning to live alone these last 5 years for 1st time in my life hasn't been easy I also lost my mom 3 years ago.... So indeed it is sweet your mom cares but I do believe what works for one usually doesn't for another. I also have pets who have been my lifesavers through this time so I too care very much that they be ok.

I so want a companion to hang out with and go eat and take trips... one thing miss from loss of married life was our yearly anniversary adventures to places I love traveling and learning about places and nature. 

I so desire to feel needed and wanted my 2 granddaughters give me a little of that when with them. But i've learned don't need to allow that need to make me needy or to do things not best for me. 

Also feel its better to be alone than to be with wrong person. 

This community here has been a godsend for me the connections made here... the opportunities to get help and guidance from others and at times be able to help others with our life experiences is truly a blessing. 

Good luck Your not alone

You can reach me or others through personal private messages on site. 

I will be praying for you and hope your blessed with companions soon. 

Ginger  : ) 

Smiley Happy Smile & the world Smiles with you Smiley Wink Pass one on....its free
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Re: Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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Thanks for your reply. You really covered a lot and I appreciate your thoughts. I am an introverted person, but I'm trying to be less so since my husband's death. Sometimes things that are new are daunting, but if you want to get over the hurdle, you must make the jump! 

 

Anyone else want to weigh in on this? 

 

Also, my mom, who met her husband on an RV site, is insistant that I join the same site (lol) and meet someone. I remind her that I have two dogs and a cat and can't just leave them alone. Boarding is expensive to do as well. I think it's very sweet of my mom to be concerned about my well-being. I do put my foot down when she says she knows a nice man to set me up with though! Woman LOL She has Alzheimer's and I think she feels she has a short amount of time to get me settled into a life she wants me to have before she becomes much less cognizant. And that makes me sad.

 

At this point, I think I would be happy just to have someone to go to coffee with, have dinner with, so I can feel needed again. I miss that feeling. Woman Frustrated

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Re: Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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Here are some thoughts, and I hope that they don't offend since I don't know you.

 

1. Put yourself in a position to meet new people. Join organizations, take classes, volunteeer for things. Try new things but don't make your new self an embarassment. 

 

2. Make yourself into your "personal best" . Dress well. Excercise. Take the time to make yourself look as good as you can,

 

3. Don't overlook your current friends or your long term acquaintances. The most likely connectors are those who already know you. People you know from high school may be great to get reacquainted..

 

4. Make yourself as interesting a person as possible. Find out what is going on in the world and be able to discuss it. If you are taking a class that is a good starting point. What has interested you in your life up to now? 

 

5. Look for friends to do things with, not necessarily dates. What is the reason to date? To get married? To get intimate? To find a long term mate?

 

6. Your family is important but they should not be a crutch, In some cases they my actually not be too pleased that you are dating.

 

7. Don't get nervous and don't give up. 

 

8. Try to find money earning work. Having your own cash flow makes you freer and able to make smarter choices. 

 

9. Realize that many of the men you might meet are "problematic" as not as good as you are. Don't let yourself be abused by the abusers.

 

10. Make a party and invite your friends. JUST HAVE A GOOD TIME!!

 

Hope this helps.  

 

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Brand New to Dating after being Widowed...

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I need some real world advice on the dating world in 2019. I truly have NO idea where to start, where to go, what to do, what are the expectations in this new world, and I'm getting advice from everywhere and everyone, and I'm just getting confused and a bit apprehensive. 

 

If anyone out there who has a mind to give me advice or encouragement, direction or placation, I would enjoy hearing what you have to say. 

 

Thanks for reading this! Hugs... Smiley Wink

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