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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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@bernita117 - You're only a few years older than me, and I haven't dated in forever! Smiley Happy I agree with the suggestion that when this man makes a leading comment, like wanting to go out without the group, that's the time to follow up. Maybe, "How about this weekend?" or "When were you thinking about us going out?"

 

A friend slightly younger than us, just went out with someone for the first time. Since then, he's been overly involved with texting her, but being vague about doing something together. It's as if the idea & discussion of romance is more attractive to him, than actually working on a relationship. That would worry me as not being very "real".

 

One of the things the man you like has said is a red flag for me: "I love the way older women carry themselves." It makes me feel that he's pigeonholed you & all "older women", rather than you as being a beautiful & elegant woman without thinking about your age. It also caught my attention that you said he "comes to my defense when someone offends me." Where are you & with whom, that other people are "offending you" in the first place? Are those people his friends, with whom you're just becoming acquainted? That sounds a little suspicious!


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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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Sorry I meant to say I have a "lover" who is 42 years old!!
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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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If you're really interested in pursuing a relationship with this man ask him out yourself. Why wait for him to work up the guts!?! It's 2015 you can be the assertive one!! I'm 65 years old have been divorced since 2003 and just recently, within the past 4 months, met and am madly in love with a man who just happens to be 23 years younger than I am. I had not dated in 10 years and had been celibate for 15-20 years! Now at age 65 I have a liver who is 42 years old and I am enjoying the best sex of my entire life!! So go for it .. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain!!😊
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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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The man you're interested in gave you an opening.  When he said, "I would like for us to go somewhere without the group", rather than just let it pass, you could have asked him where he had in mind.  When you have another opening with this man just ask him directly, but casually, if he's going to make it happen or just talk about it.  To get back in the dating world, you're going to have to develop some thick skin.  That said, as a 67 year old man, I have no problem with being approached by a woman.  At that point I make a decision based on attraction.  Some I persue and some I don't.  If you're worried about rejection, it's not a matter of being the right person.  It's just that you're not the right person for him.  There are plenty of other men out there.

 

Also, there are a few very good online dating sites out there.  Some are for free and some charge for their services.  There is one that I find particularly useful.  That site has a question bank (T or F and Multiple Choice) with several thousand questions.  You're free to answer any of them or not.  You can also chose to answer some questions and not show your answers.  The founders of this site are all mathematicians and they have a pretty sophisticated algorithm for matching your answers with those of others on the site.  It's an OK way to let Cupid work his magic.  Give it a try, it may very possibly work for you.

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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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Dating and 64 year old female is scary and let's don't get into celibacy which has been 13 years for me since my husband died. I have just retired and find myself with a lot of time to think. I do want to date but feel un-dateable. I would have a hard time asking a male for a date from what we have been taught all our lives, but I do feel a little more bolder lately. I wish you good luck in finding some one that is compatible with you and family. Their has to be a better way to grow seasoned (not old) and date!

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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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Thanks so much for your response.  I, too, am old fashioned.  Never would I dare to ask a man on a date.  I think that is for him to do and you are so right.  I have to be prepared for whatever response comes.  I have no problem with him saying "no" and I am able to accept if he's not interested.  I've been on my own for so long that lonliness and I have become best friends (smile). If he says he's not interested then oh well, I'll pull out the old crochet needles and get busy. 

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Re: 64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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You can tell him that you are interested in him, but you will need to prepare yourself for the truth from him. He may or may not be interested. If he is not, be sure you are ready to accept this.

I am probably considered old fashioned in some ways. I don't make the first approach with a gentleman and probably lose out sometimes because of this. I have seen women chase in a most aggressive manner and I find myself feeling sorry for them when they do this. I have been single for a lot of years and in the beginning I accepted most dates when offered. Kissed a lot of frogs and grew sick of this. I am very comfortable being on my own. It is rare that someone gets my interest. Usually when they do, I am smart enough to determine that I am in temporary lust.

Good luck. Hope all works in your favor with this gentleman.

Soosie
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64 YEAR OLD FEMALE DATING AFTER 7 YEARS OF CELIBACY

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I am a 64 year old female who has not dated in over 7 years.  Now I am alone in a new city and feeling quite alone.  How does one begin to date at my age.  I have had my eyes on a nice looking gentleman who is in my circle of friends.  He is 11 years younger than myself and I am interested in getting to know him better.  He always says nice things to me and seems to be protective of my feelings as he comes to my defense when someone offends me.  However, he has yet to ask me out but on occasion says little things i.e.: you look absolutely beautiful today", "I love the way older women carry themselves", "I would like for us to go somewhere without the group".  But he never calls me nor asks me for a date.  I have also texted him one evening that I was thinking about him and hoping that he had a good night.  He texted me back saying: "Good night. Darling".  He has not followed through on that.  We are always in the company of "the group".  He is making me "yearn" for him.  What am I to do?  What steps do I take to make this happen?  If I were younger, in my 30s it would be no problem but now in my 60s, I think I think too much.  Someone please help me.

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