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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2511 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

American Lindsay Vonn, has to forfeit her gold medal. The International Olympic Committee announced today that it has taken back the gold medal and given it to US President Barack Obama.

Olympic Officials said Obama deserved the medal more than Vonn because no one has ever gone down hill faster than he has.

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2512 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Three little old ladies were attending a rather lonnnnng church service....

One leaned over and whispered, "My butt's going to sleep!"

"I know," replied the other, "I heard it snore three times !"   

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2513 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

MAXINE SAYS:

"They hold elections in November, because it's the best time for picking out a turkey."

"How's this for a political platform? Don't lie through your teeth !"

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2514 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

Two Alabama rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come to a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.

The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom . I wonder how deep it is."

The second humter says, "I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see." So they pick it up and carry it over, and count,and two and three, and throw it in the hole....

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the bushes, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they standing there looking at each other, and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up. "Say there," the farmer says, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat around here did you?

The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a hunnert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!"

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2515 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A flea goes to a travel agent in NYC and says, "I have a week off . What kind of vacation can you set me up with? I'd like to go somewhere warm and sunny."

The agent says, "Oh, I have just the vacation spot for you! Ringo Starr's hair ... he's going to the Carribean, you'll love it."

Four days later the flea returns looking disgusted. That's not for me, he never leaves his room, just sits and plays music and never goes out. I want to be outside !"

"I know," says the travel agent," how about Monte Carlo in Omar Shariff's mustache?'  "Okay I'll give it a try" says the flea.

Three days later he's back.... " Nah!  He never leaves his room either, and he smokes..ugh!!" I want to be outside in the sun!"

The agent replies, "I just had a cancellation...how about Cannes in Bridget Bardot's muff?"  The flea perks up, "That sounds terrific, I'll take it!"

Four days later he's back.....  The travel agent says, "WHAT?...... didn't you like it?"   The flea responded, "Hell yes, it was the best vacation I ever had. We laid out in the sun listening to music all warm and cozy. It was great!"

"Then why are you back?? asked the agent.

"It was terrific at first, but in three days I was back in Omar Shariff's mustache!"    

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2516 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

AS YOU SLIDE DOWN THE BANNISTER OF LIFE, MAY NONE OF THE SPLINTERS BE POINTED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION...    

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2517 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She called, Five Horses".

The man said, "That's an unusual name, what does it mean?"

The old Indian answered.....................

"It mean... nag,nag,nag,nag,nag. "       

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Gold Conversationalist

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2518 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

posted at 09/18/2010 06:52:43 AM CDT

 

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A crusty old golfer ....love it

  LOL Graphic #20

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

325 Views
Message 2519 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by nell2

That coffee is going down really good this a.m. Nell, in my new mug !   LOL

Have a nice weekend

Bonnie

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Valued Social Butterfly

RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

325 Views
Message 2520 of 2,646

In Response to RE: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

A crusty old golfer comes in from a round of golf at a new course and heads into the grill room.

As he passes through the swinging doors he sees a sign hanging over the bar:

COLD BEER;  $2.00

HAMBURGER; $ 2.25

CHEESEBURGER; $2.50

CHICKEN SANDWICH; $3.50

HAND JOB;  $50.00

Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary payment, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.

She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer. "Yes?" she inquires with a wide knowing smile. "May I help you?"

The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers..."I was wondering, young lady, " he whispers "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

She looks into his eyes with that wide smile and purrs..."Yes, Sir. I sure am."

The old golfer leans closer and into her left ear he says softly, ..............

"Well, wash your hands real good because I want a cheeseburger."       

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