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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2641 of 2,648
Two fellows from the deep South were sitting around talking one afternoon. After a while the first fellow says to the second, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday and have sex with your wife while you was off huntin', and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The second fellow crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about that, but it sure would make us even."

In Response to SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2642 of 2,648

In Response to SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY by BonnieC10

 

A man and wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honor.

"Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father, the important thing is that we're all together today."

Son number two, a lawyer, arrived and announced "You and Mom look great Dad." I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you.: "It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter, a marketing executive, arrived. "Hello and Happy Anniversary!  I'm sorry but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing, so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you all for a long time."

"You see, we were very poor. Despite this, we were able to send each of you to college. Throughout the years your mother and I knew we loved each other, but we just never found the time to get married."....

The three children gasped and all said, "You mean were bastards?"

"Yep," said the father. "And cheap ones too!"       

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2643 of 2,648

An 8 yr. old says to his Grandma..... "Gram, you know how to make a tissue dance?"

"No, sweetie, how do you make a tissue dance?" asked his Grandma.

To this he replied, ..."You put a little Boogey in it !"     

 

 

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Re: Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2644 of 2,648

Welcome Shelby !     Thanks for my smile this morning... a ring of truth to that one huh!?   LOL  Have a nice day.   

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2645 of 2,648

Frank always looked on the bright side...He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstances, he would always reply, "It could have been worse." To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank coould find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, "Frank, did you hear about Tom?" He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself.!  "

"That's awful," said Frank, "But it could have been worse.".....

"How in the hell," asked his bewildered friend. "Could it have been worse?"

"Well, " replied Frank, "If it happened the night before, I'd be dead now.!"  

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Re: SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2646 of 2,648

 

Two priests are in the Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them notices that the others penis has a Nicoderm patch on it ! He commented, "I believe you are supposed to put that on your arm or shoulder. The other replies, "It's working just fine. I'm down to two butts a day."

* If you laugh, you'll go straight to hell...."

 

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SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2647 of 2,648

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SHARE A JOKE EVERY DAY

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Message 2647 of 2,648

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