Content starts here

Poor Widows... How our loving, but deceased , husbands led us to believe we knew EVERYTHING!!

Regular Contributor

Poor Widows... How our loving, but deceased , husbands led us to believe we knew EVERYTHING!!

As I recall, the building of my smugness and feelings of expertise in so many areas ,started after I was married a very short time..

It began with my clever husband, who could do anything in every situation, began to ask me

 questions, like " How does this shirt  look?", or " Is my tie straight?".


 As our marriage continued, the questions persisted .   My husband seem to need my preference and choices and seemed unsure of himself in many areas.. I was 

led to believe I was the  wife who KNEW best about everything!!

I became the expert on car purchases, choosing paint colors, investments, new houses , which pets to adopt, where to plant shrubs and flowers and WHICH ones would look best! Etc..ETC...


So, after many heady years,my confidence took over everything. I would watch all projects and gladly add  my comments when husband asked " How is this??" I now SAW every flaw to point out,   'brush stokes" when husband painted, ripples in caulking that looked not great, horrible spots that had to be re-done after carpet shampoo job, etc and ETC..!


I considered myself near expert in all..! I MUST be, as I certainly knew the best way that so many things should be done.. ??


Alas, husband passed.. 

I was no longer the boss that was needed to approve of the many things done to and around a house and  yard.. ...


Well, I at least knew the  best  ways things should be done !  I certainly could do most things  that would crop up in the house and  yard??

Hadn't I directed all the works and projects  husband had done for  over 50 years?

After a few months, I could see the kitchen counter needed to be re-caulked .

I went to purchase the materials at hardware store, but... when I opened the tube of caulk, I could tell it was the WRONG color! (Anyway, I didn't feel too badly, as the old caulk did appear to be clear to me, not white..must have faded ??)


After second purchase of clear caulk, I  started my project! It went well for about 2", then the darn caulk sort of piled up in places and wasn't a smooth line as I could only tolerate .

I did frown and show my disgust . but nobody was around to re-do it but ME!


This was the first of many rude awakenings that continued until I became aware that my dear husband had led me down a path  of believing in myself and my expert ability that I was the person who could only approve quality workmanship in all..not do it!


I could list another 100 examples of my efforts to maintain a house with reasonably  acceptable results.. 


I've had to lower my high standards to live with the results..

I  blame my dear husband for the below par appearances of most..

IF he had been more honest and not given me the smug feeling  when he asked 'HOw's this?" after he had solely done kazillion jobs, I would have been looking for a handyman  much , much sooner.


Ole Widow Lady with the ugly yard 




Regular Social Butterfly

When in doubt how to tackle a project check out U Tube. How to professionally address, resolve most any problem is detailed on U Tube.  Often there are multiple videos so you get to choose which you like best.  Think of it as your husband incarnate, but without the smoke.   

0 Kudos
Super Contributor

to find you in Private Message;

Joyce Please do not be so hard on anyone; you had a husband for over 50 years (long enough to become an AARP Member), he's your friend, you are his, you worked well together, you lasted longer than some do in Life, you have children & grandchildren from the Covenant of your together-ness & the only thing that has not seperated the 2 of you is: ..... he is still there with you in mind, thoughts, memory, heart, for he has not yet left you in so many aspects...

Can I come work on your yard? I need some part time income for it would surely be appreciated.


Stay Healthy!!!

Copyrights Protected

Trademark Registered

Infringement Benefits

0 Kudos
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Need to Know

"I downloaded AARP Perks to assist in staying connected and never missing out on a discount!" -LeeshaD341679

AARP Perks

More From AARP