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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 11 of 27

@ReTiReD51 wrote:

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - 
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 
This is how it manifests: 


I decide to water my garden. 
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, 
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 

As I start toward the garage, 
I notice mail on the porch table that 
I brought up from the mail box earlier. 

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car...
I lay my car keys on the table, 
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, 
and notice that the can is full. 

So, I decide to put the bills back 
on the table and take out the garbage first. 


But then I think, 
since I'm going to be near the mailbox 
when I take out the garbage anyway, 
I may as well pay the bills first. 

I take my check book off the table, 
and see that there is only one check left. 


My extra checks are in my desk in the study, 
so I go inside the house to my desk where 
I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking. 


I'm going to look for my checks, 
but first I need to push the coffee aside 
so that I don't accidentally knock it over. 


The coffee is getting cold, 
and I decide to put it in the microwave to reheat it. 

As I head toward the kitchen with the coffee, 
a vase of flowers on the counter 
catches my eye--they need water. 

I put the coffee on the counter and 
discover my reading glasses that 
I've been searching for all morning. 

I decide I better put them back on my desk, 
but first I'm going to water the flowers. 


I set the glasses back down on the counter, 
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. 
Someone left it on the kitchen table. 


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, 
I'll be looking for the remote, 
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, 
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, 
but first I'll water the flowers. 


I pour some water in the flowers, 
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. 

So, I set the remote back on the table, 
get some towels and wipe up the spill. 


Then, I head down the hall trying to 
remember what I was planning to do. 

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter 

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and, I don't remember what I did with the car keys. 

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, 
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, 
and I'm really tired. 

**************************************

This post had me laffing out loud and if I could have gotten down there, I would have been rolling on the floor!  lol lol lol


 

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 12 of 27

I second that!  There is just too much negativity in the world right now and we need more positive thoughts in our life each day!

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 13 of 27

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - 
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. 
This is how it manifests: 


I decide to water my garden. 
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, 
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. 

As I start toward the garage, 
I notice mail on the porch table that 
I brought up from the mail box earlier. 

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car...
I lay my car keys on the table, 
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, 
and notice that the can is full. 

So, I decide to put the bills back 
on the table and take out the garbage first. 


But then I think, 
since I'm going to be near the mailbox 
when I take out the garbage anyway, 
I may as well pay the bills first. 

I take my check book off the table, 
and see that there is only one check left. 


My extra checks are in my desk in the study, 
so I go inside the house to my desk where 
I find the cup of coffee I'd been drinking. 


I'm going to look for my checks, 
but first I need to push the coffee aside 
so that I don't accidentally knock it over. 


The coffee is getting cold, 
and I decide to put it in the microwave to reheat it. 

As I head toward the kitchen with the coffee, 
a vase of flowers on the counter 
catches my eye--they need water. 

I put the coffee on the counter and 
discover my reading glasses that 
I've been searching for all morning. 

I decide I better put them back on my desk, 
but first I'm going to water the flowers. 


I set the glasses back down on the counter, 
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. 
Someone left it on the kitchen table. 


I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, 
I'll be looking for the remote, 
but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, 
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, 
but first I'll water the flowers. 


I pour some water in the flowers, 
but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. 

So, I set the remote back on the table, 
get some towels and wipe up the spill. 


Then, I head down the hall trying to 
remember what I was planning to do. 

At the end of the day:

the car isn't washed

the bills aren't paid

there is a cold cup of coffee sitting on the counter 

the flowers don't have enough water,

there is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

and, I don't remember what I did with the car keys. 

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, 
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, 
and I'm really tired. 

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 14 of 27

I just finished a book about a toad and his excellent adventures, but he didn't go anywhere.  It was called "The Toad Less travelled."

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 15 of 27

Yesterday someone told me I was pretty!  Actually what they said was that I was pretty annoying. But I try to look on the positive side.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 16 of 27

Last week while waiting for a red light to change I began reading the bumper stickers on the truck in front of me, most were humorous, but one really impressed me.  This thought is so needed in the politcal, rancorous world of today.

 

"WE DON'T HAVE TO AGREE ON ANYTHING

TO BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER"

 

 

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 17 of 27

I don't have anything funny at the moment, HOWEVER, my wife and I went to hear a wonderful lady named Jeanne Robertson speak last Friday eve. Her philosophy of life simply put is to look for the good everywhere, every day. She had us laughing for a solid two hours with her stories. She is quite a famous speaker and I highly recommend looking her up on YOUTUBE and Facebook. IF you need an uplift... she's your best choice!

 

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 18 of 27
I love that. kudos
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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 19 of 27

Hmmmmm, oh here is something positive:  2 4 6 8 10 12 14......................

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Re: IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE, UPLIFTING, OR FUNNY TO SAY, LET'S HEAR IT!!!

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Message 20 of 27

A wise but desperate manager once said to his staff eager for some pearls of wisdom “ I have good news and I have bad news”.  “The good news is that I have no bad news, the bad news is that’s all the good news I have”.

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