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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 1 of 48

I should know the answer to this since I am on my 3rd divorce but I don't. I am 73 and never thought this would happen again. This one has been going on since 2018 and with the covid going on who knows how long I will be in limbo. Do you know the real shame is  I will miss my home more than him when it sells.  The good news is I have more good days now then down days.I know some of the down days are because we are all staying home.That is why I decided to try to chat with people other than my 2 dogs .The conversations are getting boring lol thanks for listening

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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 2 of 48

I think a lot of times marriages fail after twenty five years, especially for women, is because all of the things we were able to tolerate up until that point, wear thin.    We just don't have the same patience as we age.  

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Regular Contributor

Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 3 of 48

After reading all of this, I'm glad I never made it past 6 years. I don't put up with much. Women, believe in your own abilities. If you have doubts, listen to your feelings. Don't think you can FIX someone. Some great men out there. Don't settle for less than you deserve. With internet, etc, we live in a different time than our parents with 50, 60 years of loyalty. Love yourself, first. Let God send love to you. 

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RUT: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 4 of 48

There are so many different reasons but in my opinion long term marriages fail because one or the other or both just don't care, another love interest or just plain boredom..  I call monogamy "monotony".  It kills a relationship every time.

 


 

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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 5 of 48
If you have a plan - go for it!
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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 6 of 48

They fail in year 3-5 and then just linger on.  Sorry, but true. 

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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 7 of 48

Hi

I was married almost 22 years and together almost 25 years and he decided to leave, he said its due to my lies. which was not true, I took care of that when I went to counseling a long time ago. I was a stay at home Mom , due to injuries I got hurt 4 yrs ago at work. I told my husband everything, I wasnt perfect and either was he. He was a drinker , he drank 3-5 days a week 20 beers a night , which was suppose to be only 11beers a night at the most. But I never said anything , because I Love him and hoping he will cut down again. He also told strangers my buisness , what meds I was on and he promise he wouldnt do that , and he did it twice. He gave me two weeks to find a place , which Thank God I did , and a Job , I had to go back to work , which is hard on me , because of my condition. But now he is treating me bad , for what Im not sure. Thank God Our kids are grown, I even stuck by him last year , when he had cancer, and he told me he treated me like **bleep** , because he hated me. Nice!! I also bought him a brand new truck last year , with my settlement and let him keep it. Im such a bad person huh? This is killing me.

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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 8 of 48

My ex did that to me....the sex is great because she was playing around and learning new things, you are letting her have her cake and eat it too....my ex wanted us to "co exist" like that, but that is not a marriage, he was not man enough to admit his affairs or that he was unhappy, or even try to make it work when I begged him to talk to me or try counseling. I had to make the leap. I am the happiest I have been in 10 years. It was a tough road, but I am truly happier. You have to ask yourself alot of questions. Make a list if it helps, but do not live like that, it is not a life. If you step out of the picture and look at who is happiest? it sure doesnt look like it's you. Good luck, it won't be easy, I cried for two years and he raped me in court, but I am truly happier!

I wish I had this article available to me before the divorce, but it explains alot about the behaviors:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tracy-schorn/divorcing-the-character-d_b_3001431.html

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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 9 of 48
Sorry to hear how she chose to wreck you both.
The same thing happened in our marriage. You will hurt, that is for sure. If she thinks she is happy she will be surprised. Hang in there.
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Re: why marriages fail after 25 years

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Message 10 of 48
You can always start one....
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