Content starts here
CLOSE ×

Search

why marriages fail after 25 years

Reply
Newbie

why marriages fail after 25 years


My marraiage failed, because he know longer wanted to be responsible for me and our children. Guess who helped him in his career? The truth of the matter is, he was more interested in St. Pauly Girl, and Bud Weiser. 

36,363 Views
48
Report
Newbie


I was married for 25 years and not happily.  My ex husband is a nice guy but lousy husband material.



 



He never held a steady job, spent the little money we had, and constantly bought beyond his means.  The phone didn't stop ringing with his creditors.   He did work at various good paying jobs throughout the years.  However, he mortgaged our home three times, each time promising to limit his boundless spending:  tools, cars and who knows what else.



While I worked several jobs, entertained our family during holidays, was homemaker, cook, etc. he volunteered in community life as though he had all the time in the world. 



Moreover, our sex life was nil or close to it.  He swore up and down that he didn't have a girlfriend on the side.  I asked him about counseling, but he didn't believe in it as he had gone to counseling as a teenager and didn't feel it served any purpose.  As I responded we weren't teenagers any longer and our marriage was in trouble, he ignored my requests for counseling, promised to change, and continued with his lifestyle.



Calls from creditors continued...



Approaching our 25th year anniversary, I reflected and decided I am still attractive, although never a beauty, could not continue another 25 years (if I had it) and had had enough.



The children (2), now adults, were traumatized.  Surely, they must have seen it coming.  My oldest sided with her dad, and I am the guilty party.  My younger child, to her credit, took no side.



He cries on Facebook how I did him wrong.



Now, two years later, I'm sorry I didn't divorce him sooner.  I live a modest lifestyle, stay in contact with my children, and have a good man in my life (through a dating site--yes, the sites do work, and I've had some adventures).  He is retired, a wonderful lover, and wants to marry.



The trouble we have is that I do not want to marry...again.



Thank you for allowing me to share my small story to add to the mix.



 



 

16,323 Views
3
Report
Newbie


There are men who are abused both verbally and physically.   It certainly does happen.  And that's a shame.  While resources for victimized women are not thick on the ground, there are even fewer available to abused men.  That's a shame.  But, until a man who's been victimized posts, none of us can discuss it, since we have no experience with being a victimized man.  That's also a shame, since victims of domestic abuse need and deserve to be heard regardless of gender. 



In Response to Re: why marriages fail after 25 years:



Why is it always the men who victimizes the women. Is there ever a dissuasion where the man is is the victim?





Posted by handbiker321



 

0 Kudos
16,124 Views
1
Report
Contributor


Nobody has stopped any man from posting in this group.  So, if there are guys out there who want to tell their experiences about being victimized by their spouses, please do so!



SallyJo



 



In Response to Re: why marriages fail after 25 years:



Why is it always the men who victimizes the women. Is there ever a dissuasion where the man is is the victim?





Posted by handbiker321



 

16,085 Views
1
Report
Newbie


Why is it always the men who victimizes the women. Is there ever a dissuasion where the man is is the victim?

16,052 Views
4
Report
Newbie


We were best friends. After 32 yrs. of marriage and 3kids, I didn't want him touching me anymore. So he found someone else. I never had a lot of interest in sex anyway, I fantasized about it with other men, because he was more like a brother and best friend than a lover. I also thought that he would be losing interest in sex by our 50's  and we could grow old together without too much intimacy but I guess that was unrealistic on my part. He did continue to tell me he loved me until right up to when I found out he was meeting his old high school girlfriend. So it has been very hard for me to be apart from my best friend during the worst crisis of my life. Like someone else said on this site, divorce is worse than a death, because the person is gone because they chose to be, not because death separated you.

1
Kudos
8542
Views
15,400 Views
2
Report
Contributor


I have been married for 30 years to a man who was emotionally and verbally abusive but I choose to try to make the marriage work not matte what, but over 2 years ago my husband discovered a younger woman in his excercise class who understood him and was fun and was sexy and so ended the marriage - he choose her to fill in the years of planning and hopes and dreams... it has been hard but I think I alwasy knew it would end this way as he worked over an hour away from home and alswys choose to come home whenever he wanted to and I was the wroking but stay at home mom..nurse maid.. caretaker.. but never his friend.. freindship in marriage is key .. but we never were freinds...



 

15,400 Views
1
Report
Contributor


Unfortunately, that seems to be the case too many times.  How many years were you married?  Are you now divorced?  How about the kids?



SallyJo



 



In Response to why marriages fail after 25 years:



My marraiage failed, because he know longer wanted to be responsible for me and our children. Guess who helped him in his career? The truth of the matter is, he was more interested in St. Pauly Girl, and Bud Weiser. 





Posted by 56hannah



 

14,645 Views
0
Report
Newbie


My marraiage failed, because he know longer wanted to be responsible for me and our children. Guess who helped him in his career? The truth of the matter is, he was more interested in St. Pauly Girl, and Bud Weiser. 

14,214 Views
0
Report
cancel
Showing results forย 
Showย ย onlyย  | Search instead forย 
Did you mean:ย 
Users
Need to Know

NEW: AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays! This week, achieve a top score in Atari Centipedeยฎ and you could win $100! Learn More.

AARP Games Tournament Tuesdays

More From AARP