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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 11 of 32
I am going through divorce (married for 22 years) right now, I have't seen any benefits at all, the opposite is true for me, I can barely make it through the month and retirement doesn't look better. If I am missing something, I would appreciate a hint :-)
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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 12 of 32

I'm still waiting!!!5 yrs. later!

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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 13 of 32

I was married to the love of my live 43 years.  We have been divorced 4 years.  Our boys are well-educated, married, fathers (fabulous grands!), and have good jobs.

 

The alcoholic I love was an alcoholic when we met and I was sure I could fix him.  Three years later we married and I realized immediately, he was beyond my help.  My family did not recognize divorce as an option so I waited until they died to leave him.  The years of abuse and mean-spirited behavior, I believe caused by the disease, destroyed us.  The fact that he told me we were not going to have sex anymore several years ago probably hurt the worst.

 

It's not sad.  It just is.  I want a companion who loves the world and everything in it.  I am afraid of online dating so I volunteer at various agencies, go to concerts, and attend church regularly.  If I am supposed to be alone, I'll have great fun with that.  If I am supposed to be with someone, I am open.

Clementine
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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 14 of 32
Having kids is also a big issue...staying for the cildren
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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 15 of 32
There is medicine for that
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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 16 of 32

Will be married 51 years 9/28.  35 good ones lol.  There's different levels of love.  The oggle, google new love.  The bonding love after marriage.  The living life together with family etc.  Weathering the ups and downs together.  Our sex life wasn't fantastic.  But it wasn't the most important part of our marriage.  My medical condition has made sex a fond memory.   I have two friends who left their wives after almost 50 years of marriage for another woman.  The women were the same ages as their wives.  So it wasn't a case of the younger woman.  Their wives were attractive for their age.  But they had their hang-ups.  One was pretty much a hypocondriac and the other a religious fanatic.  Both men left for awhile and lived with their girlfriends.  After several months, both came back with their tails between their legs.  They been back together for several years now.  The grass is not always greener.  Life is too short to live it in misery.  If your marriage has died, so be it. 

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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 17 of 32

The question should be - why do couples stay married yrs after their married died?

Answer: Money, who wants to pay alimony for 20 yrs? It always comes down to money far,far more than sex. I seen it so many times. I have men friends who say they would leave their wife but the cost it so much, women friends who tell me if he ever left me he going to pay through the wazoo.

It's always about moey #1.

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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 18 of 32

My first marriage was a 22 year disaster; arguing, disagreeing about everything, in front of our 3 children when I finally said enough is enough. Taking a monetary hit was hard for both of us but, necessary. I then found the love of my life and have been married for 23 HAPPY years.

If it doesn't work, fix it, if it's beyond repair, do without and wait to find a new and improved model.

As the above stated, sex is only a part of a relationship; trust, respect and having similar interests round out our relationship.

Thats true love, to me!

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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 19 of 32
To juliep63......Be careful. Have you read the stats regarding the sexually transmitted diseases among seniors? Your "rev up" may have a more lasting outcome than you desire. Also, if you are caught, and you have children and grandchildren, they may not see you as a "sexy granny", but rather a cheater.

Soosie
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Re: why couples divorce after so many years of marriage

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Message 20 of 32
Not true at all! There has to be 'sparks' to make you even interested! I think that's the same for both men and women.

BTW ... Your statement can apply to men as well especially as they age.
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