That was what made me decide to leave. The lies about attending rehab, when in fact he was in motels with prostitutes or at liquor stores. He refused for 5 years - entire length of this marriage - to attend rehab and use therapy instead of using it to collect SSDI only . I kicked him out and 5 months later after the DUI, filed for a divorce. He is everything I oppose and I honestly feel foolish for believing the lies. However, I prefer to meet people and see good in them because everyone has potential and has something good in them somewhere. That is my downfall. I need to remove the rose colored glasses and see people who they are, not the potential they have of becoming. I am thankful we have no kids together - clean divorce. His kids are adults and so is my son and we had them in other marriages, not this one. Yay! Clean divorce - no joint property, accounts, retirements, nothing together. I can relate to the "not wanting to work" - Mine was going to work, but drinking and doing drugs on the job, getting belligerent with customers, tried to embezzle money, got fired. Has not looked for another part time job since he got canned. Street walkers, booze, drugs, motels are all that matters. Passing an employment drug test? He couldn't and he knows it. He's pushing 60, too old to stop his habits so I hope he ODs soon. Just get the train wreck over with. I learned a lot about narcissists and the drug paraphernalia - another place I fail tremendously - LOL - I drank in my years, no drugs. I am clueless. Found it odd when my spoons disappeared in my drawer, cat was going after Q-tips, why my cupboard had 15 rolls of tin foil - I was thinking, geez Christmas cookies don't require that much...LOL...he ordered rubbing alcohol online through Humana Pharmacy but it never made it to the house and he left my box of 100 Band-Aids, but when i needed one it was empty - he never replaced it and I only look in it on an as-needed basis. Through Al-Anon, I learned these things are all drug things...washing dope with rubbing alcohol....Q-tips had codeine on them so my cat was becoming a junkie before I kicked him out. He never went after Q-tips after hubby left. HMM....Interesting observation. Been quite a journey. My advice for kids today: If they do drugs, RUN, RUN, RUN...don't walk...RUN!! They are a dead-end street - no home ownership, no stability, no savings account, long rap sheets, lies, STDs, hepatitis, frequent ER visits for ODs and health issues, not worth it. Avoid this kind. Kick it to the curb.
