Reply
Contributor

My Wife is leaving me the month before our 40th wedding anniversary

My wife of 39 years, left me a note saying she was not happy anymore. She had found an old high school "friend" and was leaving me for him. I am lost and don't know what to do. we just moved into a new home. now i am alone and struggling

Social Butterfly

@lh4799 

Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts I really needed them.... they are a comfort and inspiration 

May you be blessed each & every day Thanks

@FrancisR928084 

You are in my thoughts May you heed the words been shared to you and find your way to the other side May you be blessed everyday 

 

Gratefully 

Ginger  :  )

🙂 Smile & the world Smiles with you 😉 Pass one on....its free
Contributor

First, let me tell you how sorry I.am for the pain you must be feeling now. I would at first do a few basics.  Don't tell everyone you know about the details - just say "we parted ways" and not "dumped me for old boyfriend" because it comes across as you being a victim - and she is the bad guy. Don't stay stuck in that place because it's easy to do.- and Ive done the same. Talked to anyone who would listen how wronged I'd been by this man. Years later -! Realize I'm the lucky one to be away from him and made a life for myself exactly like I wanted. No one telling me how to live but follow my own passions. Finally I own my life completely! Definitely ask around and get individual counseling or if you feel depression is creeping in, see a doctor. Since I'm female - I have no idea what men think just don't be too proud to open up to a professional just not to everyone you know. No reason to lay awake wondering what you did wrong or how to get her back. You don't want back anyone who would abandon you which is that pain you feel. Don't be tempted to hide from the pain w alcohol or other risky activity. I'm 63 and finally know that sometimes there is no answer or cure but time. Use the gift of time to reinvent yourself. Start going to a local Y and take age appropriate classes like yoga or get a personal trainer and get stronger physically. You will meet people with similar goals and maybe make new friends not associated w your married self - the busier you are the less you'll obsess over her. Fix up your place to reflect you - volunteer at a homeless shelter and when you see the plight of these people and get involved you stop thinking about your problems as much - get a small dog for the love and companionship - walk each day first thing and endorphins will kick start your feel good brain chemistry. She is gone but you are given a gift of a new life - don't let someone else use the brushes to paint your life. Don't date right away - you aren't yet ready - focus on you. Treat yourself to a massage - expensive haircut - I know only from going through the same thing what I did wrong and how I learned to get past it coming out even happier.

cancel
Showing results for 
Show  only  | Search instead for 
Did you mean: 
Users
Announcements

Try the new AARP Perks browser tool! Get timely reminders about AARP resources, discounts, and other member benefits as you browse online. Install AARP Perks now.

AARP Perks

Members Can Play More

Membership unlocks free online games and puzzles including classic Atari Games. Join today for just $12 per year with Automatic Renewal.

AARP Membership

AARP Rewards

Activate AARP Rewards to earn points for games, quizzes and videos. Redeem for deals and discounts. Get started with AARP Rewards now!

AARP Rewards Badge

Music and Brain Health

From soft jazz to hard rock - discover music's mental, social and physical benefits. Learn more.

Music and Brain Health