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Re: Dumped on Christmas Eve

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Well hello there luckytwin, glad to meet you!    Smiley Very Happy

 

I just read your post, aaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddd, I think NO!

 

Ya know, I really try to find positive things to say about a former spouse, but I am really struggling with your ex-husband here. I really can't find anything good about him…………………….

 

I don't think the best thing for you is to be alone, your only 60 and have much to offer another loving person, and I mean to say with the right person.

 

 This jerk of man you were with (if I should even call him a man, more so a 4 year old boy) can keep walking down "playerville road" and you and I will take a left up ahead at the cross roads.

 

I could sit here all day and tell you what he is and use every bad name I could think of, all of which would fit him well indeed, but it's not about him. Let's not give him one more minute of your time, you have already given him too much time. Not a second more to him, don't you dare.

 

A 1000 miles!  A 1000 miles! You dropped everything, you left your children and grandchildren, years and a part of your life behind to be with this man, you took a chance for the sake of romance and love, to be in love with someone, and said yes to be his wife. A 1000 miles you traveled for him!  A 1000 miles!

 

Did he roll out the red carpet and make everyone stand for the Queen upon your arrival?

 

Did he celebrate each year on the very day you arrived to him, not on your anniversary, the day you traveled a 1000 miles for him?

 

Did he ever thank you once for leaving your children and all that you knew behind for him?   

I think I already know what your answer will be.

 

WOMAN, YOU ARE AMAZING!.............................and you think it's best to be alone, you are so wrong, and that's the only fault I can see with you. 

 

His faults and flaws  are NOT yours! 

 

You have most of the equation inside of you!  You have passion, care, warmth, forgiveness, and you have extreme patience and devotion.  DO NOT let him or your marriage break down take that away from you.

 

Let's see, what else do I see in your post.

 

Who cares what age she is? Does it really matter, 25 or 75, it's still another woman and supposedly he is in love with (if he even has a clue as to what love is). Your 60, and?  I know some 60+ year old women that run around and enjoy life like they are 40, they tell me it's mostly a state of mind. Who am I to argue, a man argue with a woman, HA, no way, so I believe them  Smiley Very Happy You gotta love humor...................so.................................

 

 ...................so you were told your services are no longer needed, his loss................because I will tell ya what my friend...............I don't know what you were good at...................but whatever you got..................he wanted to keep it around for awhile for his needs.    I think maybe you got more going on good from inside you then you realize.  Now I am a man, no doubt about that, I don't act as most men do because I already learned, but I tell ya I know how we men think, most of the time anyway. I am for certain he didn't keep you around just to say hello.to you once in a while.   

 

So remember, I think you have a few things to offer a man that seem to be hard to just up and outright leave.

 

A far as the money he owes you, it's gone, never was there and he probably had no intention of ever giving it to you.  I don't like the ways he has played the marriage and you after the marriage, so I am assuming here, he will in fact keep playing, even on his new lover in time. So I really don't expect him to man up and help you out.

 

I do not know what job skills you have or what type of work that you do. Even at 60 you have many “free” educational opportunities and avenues that most women and seniors do not know they have. I can point you in those directions if you wish me to.

 

Have you spoken with your family concerning what has been going on with you? If you haven't yet, I recommend you let them in on what's going on, and I mean the whole truth, skip the part about his new love, just about you and where you are at right now in you life. I think you need to get back to your children; your grandchildren and you need to surround yourself with their love.

 

Reach for your family and friends if you can. Ask for their help and try to get back home, that's what friends and family are for, to help each other out.        

 

My thoughts are with you and I am here.

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Dumped on Christmas Eve

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After a long distance relationship, I got a job transfer and relocated 1000 miles for him. I left my adult children, who soon had their own children, and I have missed being a part of their daily lives.  Our marriage was great for the first few years but then he started playing Casanova in our workplace.  We worked together and I got to watch him do this on a nightly basis. I never "caught" him cheating but he was not only overly friendly with the ladies but also told them bad things about me, so that soon a lot of them wouldn't even speak to me!  Still, I had given up so much for us that I stayed around.  After 14 years together he asked me to leave.  I did; but he wanted to continue our relationship, and so did I.  After 2 1/2 years of "dating", and him saying he still loved me, hadn't been with anyone else, and wanted me to come back home (yet always finding excuses when I had the opportunity to do so), he told me on Christmas Eve 2 1/2 years ago that he had been dating a younger co-worker and was now in love with her.  He dragged the divorce on for all this time and still hasn't paid me the paltry amount I ended up with due to his friendship with the small town judges in that county.  Besides the heartbreak, the "feeling like a fool", and the financial devastation this has caused, I am unable to move on until he pays up.  I am also pretty sure I will never trust any man ever again.  He had me fooled, although looking back I know I should have seen it. These last 10 years have been pretty miserable.  I'm only 60, but at this point I think being alone is the best thing for me!

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