Dropped like a hot rock

[Grovercxl54]

After 20 years of being together, and 18 years of marriage my wife has fallen in love with a co-worker and wants a divorce. We are also in the process of building a house so that adds to the turmoil. She designed the house and it is what she has wanted since she was a little girl, so she is going to keep it and I am going to take some money and try to go on with my life. Being 65 years old and about to retire makes it even harder, since  I did not realize she was as unhappy as she apparently was and my only plan for retirement was to spend all my time with her.  I will be retiring in about 10 months and I have no earthly idea what I'm going to do with remainder of my time on Earth.

[Anonymous]

Hi @JenniferM274467 good for you!!! It took guts and you did it. We are here if you need us. Lots of hugs and luv coming your way!

[JenniferM274467]

I am getting divorced right now myself.  My choice because he's a drug addicted alcoholic - no future in a relationship with that.  I am looking at it as a new beginning, creating a home for myself, looking for positives in being alone at this stage.  I prefer being alone instead of living in the midst of unappreciative, lying people that prefer deception instead of the relationship.  Separation can be a good thing - travels, new friends, new hobbies, discover yourself, create a fresh and new start, and start new traditions in your new house.  You deserve it! Fresh start is better than being lied to and cheated on.  Hang in there. 🙂 Jen

[Anonymous]

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@Brightpool wrote:

Rule No. 1: Divorce at any age is Hell.

Rule No. 2: The best advice I received after my first divorce was that the best revenge is to be happy.

Rule No. 3: Be happy with whatever you do.

You didn't get this far in life by sitting around wondering what you were going to do. You know how to live. This gives you a chance to live the next chapter on your own terms without wondering what she wants - once the dust settles from the divorce, that is. Your next chapter might include somebody, sometime, but it doesn't have to. Certainly, do not rush into anything with anybody. That got me my second divorce.

Review your interests. Build on those as you see fit. Perhaps you want to cultivate new interests. That's okay, too. You can explore, both figuratively and literally.

Good luck with it.

--Lynn

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💥 Awesome advice @Brightpool Thank you, Angela 💥

[Anonymous]

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@Grovercxl54 wrote:

Thanks for the sage advice. Went to a friend's daughter's wedding last night and thus it has been a tough weekend. Kind of like a roller-coaster these days. Some days are better than others.

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💥 Yes @Grovercxl54 , one day at a time. That is all that we can do. Hope you are doing better. Angela 💥

[gm5271]

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@Brightpool wrote:

Rule No. 1: Divorce at any age is Hell.

Rule No. 2: The best advice I received after my first divorce was that the best revenge is to be happy.

Rule No. 3: Be happy with whatever you do.

You didn't get this far in life by sitting around wondering what you were going to do. You know how to live. This gives you a chance to live the next chapter on your own terms without wondering what she wants - once the dust settles from the divorce, that is. Your next chapter might include somebody, sometime, but it doesn't have to. Certainly, do not rush into anything with anybody. That got me my second divorce.

Review your interests. Build on those as you see fit. Perhaps you want to cultivate new interests. That's okay, too. You can explore, both figuratively and literally.

Good luck with it.

--Lynn

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@Brightpool 

Lynn when you posted this reply months ago I gave a kudo but also should've posted to let you know just how much your post meant to me.....I saved it to have read anytime needed a reminder of your encouraging thoughts.... it is great comfort and offers Hope which myself and others need ! THANKS! 🥰

With our contact on another forum I'm aware your married again and things are good.... which is great blessing.... So thanks so much for taking time to post here to help me and others. 

Everyone have a safe and enjoyable weekend

Ginger  :  ) 

[SIMPLEGAL]

Richard,

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce.  I wish you well and hope you will post updates about your life as a single.  You will be amazed how many wonderful women are out there waiting for you.....:)

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@Grovercxl54 wrote:

After 20 years of being together, and 18 years of marriage my wife has fallen in love with a co-worker and wants a divorce. We are also in the process of building a house so that adds to the turmoil. She designed the house and it is what she has wanted since she was a little girl, so she is going to keep it and I am going to take some money and try to go on with my life. Being 65 years old and about to retire makes it even harder, since  I did not realize she was as unhappy as she apparently was and my only plan for retirement was to spend all my time with her.  I will be retiring in about 10 months and I have no earthly idea what I'm going to do with remainder of my time on Earth.

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[Grovercxl54]

Thanks for the sage advice. Went to a friend's daughter's wedding last night and thus it has been a tough weekend. Kind of like a roller-coaster these days. Some days are better than others.

[Brightpool]

Rule No. 1: Divorce at any age is Hell.

Rule No. 2: The best advice I received after my first divorce was that the best revenge is to be happy.

Rule No. 3: Be happy with whatever you do.

You didn't get this far in life by sitting around wondering what you were going to do. You know how to live. This gives you a chance to live the next chapter on your own terms without wondering what she wants - once the dust settles from the divorce, that is. Your next chapter might include somebody, sometime, but it doesn't have to. Certainly, do not rush into anything with anybody. That got me my second divorce.

Review your interests. Build on those as you see fit. Perhaps you want to cultivate new interests. That's okay, too. You can explore, both figuratively and literally.

Good luck with it.

--Lynn