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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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Most EXCELLENT replies to the original post. Revenge is a "TOTAL" waste of energy and time.

 

Best advice to get over him or her............................go look in the mirror and change what you don't like about you, and then fix it. YOU CANNOT change someone else, you can get them to think about things but YOU CANNOT force them to feel.

 

Yes, I agree to get in shape, stay healthy, even try smiling once in a while, someone might smile back, ya know what I mean. 

 

Now for you guys.....................date women, but my god date them because you like them or are interested in their company. Don't date them to get revenge on your ex, that's just stupid. If you subscribe to that point of view, then all you are doing is using someone else and possibly passing on more hurt to another person that might have been good for you in the long run. Hearts are too fragile these days, true friends are a rarity, and smiles are few and in between, so be careful guys, a woman's love is too special, and if you are lucky enough to find another woman that is in love with you, don't be a fool and look at her as a puppet to use against your ex............................or you will find yourself losing another woman.

 

 

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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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@retiredtraveler wrote:

 

 

The Catch 22.............


Yup. So it's pointless, I gather, to try to offer help to others. Which goes against eveything I have ever learned, not to mention the way I'm wired. Ugh.

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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"....So there you have it: mindset either spurs people on or holds them back. We can, of course, change our mindset ... but apparently we need the right mindset to accomplish that....". Smiley Tongue

 

The Catch 22.............


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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@retiredtraveler wrote:

I've got 3 years over that. We did all the things mentioned by the OP. We still workout 5 days a week (for 35+ years), kept getting more school enhancing/changing careers, retired early and well, eat healthy, and still hiking the mountains in our 60's. 

    I just don't understand lack of motivation for self improvement.


Congratulations on your long marriage! I know the years have taught you this: love takes work. Sometimes hard work. Congratulations to you both for doing what it takes to get to a well-funded, healthy and happy retirement. May your remaining years together be filled with wonder and may your dying breath leave nothing but love.

 

Us too, on being careful to tend to the business of happines and self improvement.

 

DH and I were >justthisminute< chatting in a similar vein as your last statement, one that greatly influences a person's ability to pull off what you have, and that is negativity. As negativity invites disease, repels people and opportunities, I cannot understand why so may people choose to be negative. 

 

Edit: I am taking a class on emotional intelligence, and have just run into the answer to our shared question in today's lesson. And it goes like this: 

 

"The two types of mindsets

 

Some people believe they can improve their abilities through effort and education. They love learning new things, embrace challenges, learn from feedback, and are inspired by other people's successes. They have what Dweck calls a 'growth mindset'.

 

Others believe that their qualities are carved in stone. They believe strongly in talent and see effort as fruitless. They tend to avoid challenges and ignore feedback that could help them improve. These people have what she calls a 'fixed mindset'.

 

A growth mindset empowers you to learn and to grow. A fixed mindset keeps you in your comfort zone and prevents you from living up to your full potential."

 

So there you have it: mindset either spurs people on or holds them back. We can, of course, change our mindset ... but apparently we need the right mindset to accomplish that. Smiley Tongue

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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"...I say this as a person who has been married since 1979...."

 

I've got 3 years over that. We did all the things mentioned by the OP. We still workout 5 days a week (for 35+ years), kept getting more school enhancing/changing careers, retired early and well, eat healthy, and still hiking the mountains in our 60's. 

    I just don't understand lack of motivation for self improvement.


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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@retiredtraveler wrote:

"....Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she

realizes she made a big mistake.....".

 

This is so silly. If the partners, both of them, made it a point to improve themselves by hitting the gym, pushing themselves at work, dressed better, etc., there would not have been a breakup in the first place.

    If couples took a look at themselves on a regular basis, and identified ways to improve themselves throughout their lives, they would be healthy, wealthy, fit, 50-somethings instead of sad, sickly, 50-pound overweight somethings with no career.


I agree that this part isn't the best, but for different reasons: improving oneself so that another person's opinion of you changes is the antithesis of healthy recovery. Better to improve oneself for oneself.

 

I say this as a person who has been married since 1979.

 

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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"....Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she

realizes she made a big mistake.....".

 

This is so silly. If the partners, both of them, made it a point to improve themselves by hitting the gym, pushing themselves at work, dressed better, etc., there would not have been a breakup in the first place.

    If couples took a look at themselves on a regular basis, and identified ways to improve themselves throughout their lives, they would be healthy, wealthy, fit, 50-somethings instead of sad, sickly, 50-pound overweight somethings with no career.


"...Why is everyone a victim? Take personal responsibility for your life..."
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Re: Breakups and Revenge

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@j354324f wrote:

The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your

life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,

past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and

enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge

that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send

them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It's much

better to show you are indifferent and don't care.

 

I think this tidbit here is the best advice. Live your life your way. Be happy, thrive, explore your new landscape. Live fully. Love yourself. Invite new knowledge, people and experiences into your life.

 

Be well.

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Breakups and Revenge

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Revenge Your Ex

 

Each day hundreds of men and women seek revenge on their ex-mates for a

variety of reasons, usually because they got dumped or where cheated on.

Revenge comes in many ways. It typically starts by using social media to

vent, and then escalates from there. Now sites like "Get Revenge On Your Ex"

for a fee will help you get pay back or revenge.

 

So what is the best way to get revenge besides slashing her tires, posting

nude photos of her and so on.

 

The best way according to the web site Right Choices 101 is to live your

life well. This is true no matter who you are seeking revenge on. Coworkers,

past bosses, bad friends or ex-lovers. Put your energy into succeeding and

enjoying your life, not wasting your time, energy and resources on revenge

that can end up costing you much more. Plus, when you seek revenge, you send

them a massage that you have not gotten over the relationship. It's much

better to show you are indifferent and don't care.

 

According to Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair, a service that specializes in

helping men find young beautiful foreign women, "The best revenge is to date

or marry a women 10 years younger than your ex. This will piss her off to no

end. No woman ever wants to be replaced with a younger, more attractive

woman. Just like a man never likes to get replaced by a guy who is wealthier

or more successful.

 

I will never forget one of my first clients we took to Saint Petersburg,

Russia." says Agee, "The client told me that two days on our tour was better

than two years of therapy. Having hundreds of attractive women fighting over

you gets your ex out of your mind pretty quick.

 

I personally went through break up when my ex ran off with another man. But

a short time later, I met a new lady who was ten times better. I ran into

that man who stole my ex and I gave him a big thanks. In fact, I could not

thank him enough. He was stuck with an older nagging women, while I was now

with a young, beautiful, caring women. Plus, my ex had gained about 100

pounds. I don't look at that fellow as any kind of enemy but as the person

who saved me from my ex and years of suffering." This is the best a revenge

when you win without lowering yourself.

 

Other sites like "Get Over Her Now" give practical advice and tips for

getting over a past relationship.

 

Top Tips from Get Over Her Now:

 

Start making platonic relationships with as many women as possible, old,

young, skinny, fat, cute or ugly. This greatly helps you get back in the

game of socializing with the opposite sex. And it opens up lots

opportunities to meet their cute attractive friends in a more relaxed

environment. This also helps you build your game and confidence.

 

Improve yourself, start working out, get up early every day and exercise.

 

Buy new clothes. Dressing better makes you feel better and improves your

confidence.

 

Focus on work and getting a promotion or raise. Don't let a break up effect

your work negatively. Put that extra effort into work and it will pay off

with a better position and more money. This will also build your confidence

and help attract better quality women.

 

Any time you are depressed, improving yourself helps greatly. When you feel

depressed, don't sit and watch TV and then sleep-in late. Get out and do

something that will make you feel like you've accomplished something. Take a

class, go hiking, fix something you've been putting off.

 

Don't start drinking. Drinking will always have a negative impact on your

life. Don't drink while depressed or when you are trying to get over some

one. After all, drinking is for celebrating. So if you are not celebrating

something, don't drink. A quality women is not going to be attracted to

someone who drinks a lot or has a drinking problem.

 

Don't sleep in; sleeping late increases depression. Get up as early as you

can and go for a walk, take a hike, or go to the Gym. Research shows getting

up early and exercising can eliminate depression. You will have no game be

depressed.

 

Don't binge eat. If you start gaining weight, you will feel less self-worth

and lose your confidence. Confidence is a quality that women are extremely

attracted to.

 

Conclusion, the best revenge is when you improve your life so well that she

realizes she made a big mistake. And satisfaction comes when you meet

someone so much better, you are glad the ex is gone. After all, if you are

seeking revenge, how great could she really have been in the first place!

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