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Conversationalist

Re: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 1 of 59
Awesome answer! I am newly divorced after a 45 year marriage. I am 67 and also have a roommate. I agree that it takes time to find out who you really are after being in a relationship/marriage for a very long time. I am still discovering things about myself!
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Gold Conversationalist

Re: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 2 of 59

I'm  not actually "living alone", as I have a room mate. What I *don't* have, however, is a "partner", "spouse", "significant other", or whatever you want to call it, and yes. I AM happy. I answer to no one, I take care of myself, and I come & go as I please. I have no concerns other than my own. Selfish? Yup. But I've been in relationships where the *other party* felt it necessary to either try to keep me on a short leash or corral me into a lifestyle to which I didn't belong in. I live for me, and I prefer it that way.

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Conversationalist

Re: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 3 of 59

Sometimes is the short answer. Sometimes I feel alone. 

 

But when I look back to the years that I was married, especially the last years, I had fewer happy moments and more loneliness than I do now. 

 

Whatever you choose about having another partner, make sure you make that choice after you feel centered as you. Give yourself time to savor independence and enjoy those moments of silence.

YOu have choices about how you will re-make your life--at every age. 

 

I think the worst thing you can do is to become that clingy person who wants their friend, partner, or family member to make you feel better.

Far better emotionally, is for you to figure out how to give and to share who you are with others and to be grateful for what you do have--friends, family, community, job, etc. 

 

Life is is not easy. But I keep telling myself that I am responsible for making my life and for making it meaningful. 

 

I hope this helps. This is advice for the long term. In the short term, just keep living and moving!

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Info Seeker

Re: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 4 of 59
Yes! Was alone much of my marriage and hated it, but now I can't imagine sharing my house with another person full-time. II can't sleep, I can roam around and not worry about making noise. Yes there are disadvantages, but the advantages far outweigh them.
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Re: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 5 of 59
Living alone.. I needed that time to get my life back after being married at the age of 19. Kids are grown. When I first start living alone I needed that peace of mind and to spend a lot of time with Jesus, he don't want us alone. So in his time I have enough of Faith that He will send that mate.
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Conversationalist

Re: RE: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 6 of 59
Alone and Looking for Like-minded retirees
Looking to live together and some travel, even if in state so that I can afford to go south in the winter or to Australia in our winter and also have good conversation in the evenings

Great piece andee
I do not need a partner at all, fellowship and making ends meet as I progress into aging, which, at this time, is getting more and more expensive
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Conversationalist

Re: RE: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 7 of 59
I am retired also, teacher and if I have past years of baggage, at this age, it is now funny
never been married and want to live with 2-3 seniors so I can afford to travel or go south for the winter

In all states, esp northern ones , as MN, the waiting list for senior apts of really no character other than boards, is 3-8 years and of the people I know, they do most of nothing

I f I do not get roomates on AARP, I will have to go to blue zones cities as northern CA, shwer many seniors live together in large homes

The #1 deadly disease is lonliness
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RE: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 8 of 59

Your response makes a lot of sense when applied during childbearing/rearing years. In today's society, when a marriage is expected to last much longer than ever existed in early human society, it doesn't make as much sense.  There has to be a mutual friendship and partnership if anyone can expect marriages to last for 50 plus years.  Obviously, none of us managed to have that kind of relationship. 

Friends do not cheat each other, nor do they treat them with contempt. Cultural values and mores have influences on human beings beyond what nature originally created for them. 

If humans hadn't evolved, at least a little, men would still be bashing the heads of male rivals for female attention.  I admit, some "preening" behavior still exists with members of both sexes, but society has curbed some of the more animalistic behaviors. 

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RE: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 9 of 59

 This is the first time that I'm responding, but I felt like it the last posting warrented a rational response.  

I don't buy the male programming excuse.  We have evolved, a whole lot past cave men needs and monkeys. Evolved men have done just that--evolved.  

 

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RE: Are you happy living alone?

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Message 10 of 59

 Hello Friends:

 

Let me address here, men.  

 

Keep in mind, I am going to speak here with both experience and hopefully an open mind.

 

100,000 years ago, yes girls, that long ago, early humans were at the beginning of a long road into the future.  One thing quickly became very obvious to early humans.  Those that might share their mate with others, died younger and more often than those that mated and stayed true to one another.  Simple.  An early observation, but none the less, one may consider it being “possessive.”  Man learned that by being possessive of his family, there was a better chance of his progeny surviving him.

 

Simply put, it was extremely beneficial if the “male” was possessive, as that would entice him as well to be protective of his mate and children.  Other wise, he might have just let them get eaten, he could always find another!

 

So, men being possessive about their mate and children clearly has had benefits long misunderstood by modern woman.  Women are naturally, nesters.  Thank God!  After all, is she says “no,” and the male honors that decision, there are going to be no children.  From which the male knows that is his job as well.  To insure the continuation of the species.

 

When you take this into perspective, by watching chimpanzee families, (we share 95% of our DNA with them), organization and possession are two primary traits that always appear in healthy “Chimp,” colonies.  They have evolved this way to keep the species going.  No real thought by them on this matter obviously.  Nature just doing “her” thing.

 

Laugh as you may,  there are reasons for most of our behaviors that have evolved with us over time.  You can tie all of this to a “Master Creator,” if you wish.  Regardless, our history is becoming more obvious to those that study such matters in anthropology and other social sciences.

 

This is not an excuse for “bad behavior.”  Just a reality that in the male programming, there is a need to create as much as in the female programming, there is a need to “nest.”

 

One hand washes the other and here we are today, calendar year 2011 and counting!

 

Hugs

 

Daniel

 

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