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Re: 26 years of marriage

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I must say (as I am a man) I am so disappointed in my gender these days. My GOD!

 

How they just get up and walk out on a woman (who was their wife for years) in matter of seconds is beyond me.  I think of all the women that have sacrificed there body to carry and give life to their husbands children, managed the household duties, kept the husband warm at all times, and the wife gave up their limelight moments in life just to be walked out on like a piece of garbage. 

 

I cannot apologize for what these men do and their is no humanly possible rational excuse other then they are just the bottom of the barrel. Just unbelievable what has happened to you! It doesn't matter if he was happy or not now, it's not your fault for his inability to let you know he was unhappy with the marriage. ITS NOT YOUR FAULT and you did not cause this to happen!

 

There are many state and federal programs available for woman that are in your situation. I know education programs for single moms are abundant and you can get free education and on many fast career paths to help assist you.

 

You are going in the right direction, you have chose to not lay down and die! You have a high school diploma and that's a great start. Get on the web and check to see what type of education programs are offered and what assistance can be provided for the short term. You should check into what your state will offer you for health insurance. I know a few divorced women that are 100% covered while they are back in school.  Many local colleges offer tuition free schooling for older and divorced women with no prior college background, so be sure to check into local schooling as well. Many states offer education programs with interim employment at the same time you are going to school to learn that particular profession, so there are all kind of opportunity's out there for you.

 

Sidebar: Don't be afraid of schooling, don't think you are dumb or can't learn something new, yes you can and you will.  If you know what 2+2 equals, then you can learn, trust me on this. So believe in yourself and you will succeed with a new education.

 

As far as the pain, it will go away, it take times, but know even though I sit behind this keyboard typing, I really do feel for you even though I don't know who you are. There are many of us out here that understand what you have lost and what has happened to you.  

 

What you need to do is start looking at what you want to be and where you want to go. You may not have ever planned to go down the roads you are now on, but your road can and will turn out to be what you want it to be.

 

You still have your sons and I hope they man up and protect their mother, just the same as you have taken care of them over the years. Focus on what you have now, where you want to go and what you want to be.

 

You are already stronger then you know. You have a computer, use it now and start researching what opportunities you have and how to keep moving forward.

 

And remember we are here, people do care, others will care also, you are not alone. I know you are strong, so keep moving forward!

 

 

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Re: 26 years of marriage

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@a559398t wrote:

I married my high school sweetheart, we started dating at 15, married at19, had my first son at 19.  On March 20 , 2017, my husband blindsided me as well as my 3 grown sons and told us he was moving out and divorcing me.  I had no clue he was so unhappy.  He was sitting in his car when I arrived home.  He rolled down car window and told me he was done with our marriage.  He is sole bread winner.  I have pacemaker and I have otherbserious health issues.  Now at 45 I am facing starting over with just a hs diploma, and not suppose to be working.  Someone please tell me this pain goes away.  I am finding strengths that I didnt know I had.  I am chosing to become stronger from this, I will not lay down and die


@a559398t While I cannot speak directly about your circumstance, I can speak about overcoming devastation, as one day when I was 15 I returned from school to the family campsite only to discover that they had moved without me. They had taken many items of value, but clearly I did not make that list. I never saw them again, but I did go on to fight the State in order to win emancipation (and to stay out of a foster home). So I do know a little bit about the process of not laying down. (It just occurred to me that most of the things I post here come from that vantage. Hm. Smiley Happy)

 

Despite trusted loved ones showing that they are completely unworthy of your company, you can be happy. You can move on and you can become your best self. You can thrive and oh yes, you can overcome!

 

I'd be more than willing to chat with you about >whatever< if you thought it would be helpful.

 

Sending warm thoughts and asking God to pour blessings into your life.

 

Epster

 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: 26 years of marriage

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@a559398t  First of all, welcome to the AARP forums!  Secondly, I'm glad you had the courage to reach out and share this experience with others here.  That's the kind of news that can devastate a family in an instant!

 

Congratulations on also having the kind of courage that allows you to say that you are finding your strength and resolve through this.  The pain will go away but it's usually not as quickly as we'd like...but every day is better than the day before.  Twenty-six years of marriage and three children have given you a wealth of experience from which to draw on and you certainly have learned to use patience to your advantage, given your history of dealing with health problems.

 

Others with more recent experience and concrete suggestions will come along and read your post and may be able to answer specific questions you have.  In the meantime, I hope your family and circle of friends can be a source of comfort and healing during the process of redefining yourself as a strong, competent, problem-solving "single woman" who is going to go places and do great things!

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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26 years of marriage

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I married my high school sweetheart, we started dating at 15, married at19, had my first son at 19.  On March 20 , 2017, my husband blindsided me as well as my 3 grown sons and told us he was moving out and divorcing me.  I had no clue he was so unhappy.  He was sitting in his car when I arrived home.  He rolled down car window and told me he was done with our marriage.  He is sole bread winner.  I have pacemaker and I have otherbserious health issues.  Now at 45 I am facing starting over with just a hs diploma, and not suppose to be working.  Someone please tell me this pain goes away.  I am finding strengths that I didnt know I had.  I am chosing to become stronger from this, I will not lay down and die

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