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Re: Loss of wife

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Grace,  thank you for sharing your journey and your very precious love story!!

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Re: Loss of wife

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To let you know. it will get better.  I almost lost myself after the death of my husband.  I had this house with 4 children gone and grown with children of their own.  I have lived here for 38 yrs together with the love of my life.  We were called things like twins, two peas in a pod, better halfs, love doves and the list goes on and on.

two days before our 38th year anniversary my husband had a massive heart attack and passed away.  I thought I would never get over the deafening noise of silence.  At night no more snoring, or the little grunts we all make getting up and down off of a chair.The shoe that made that sound when he walked.  the clicker of the tv.  The telephone calls from well wishers on the retirement  we waited for all of his working life, so we could travel to all those beautiful places we heard and read about.I went to bed after the funeral and stayed there for as long as I could.  I left the house for a few Dr. appts and few groceries.  Meals alone were uncomfortable.   I donatedt "his chair" the empty one.  I could not bear the thought of him not in it.  I never sat in it so why keep the chair that made me sad.  As time went on I did things little by little to store things in an area until I was ready .  I would pack his books and items and try to keep them out of sight but close enough that when I wanted to remember him in My way I could see them until in my mind they became memories.  I have few friends, my daughters live out of town.  I see them on birthdays and holidays and as much as I love them, I get a little anxious for them to go so I can spend those special holidays I keep in my memory.  I started going to a faith based church and have met many wonderful people with like situations that I have.  A luncheon here and there a guest speaker, an afternoon talk with God keeps mefrom missing what I have lost.  Goodluck to you on your new journey

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Re: Loss of wife

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Tim, There are times when a fast passing might save some pain and suffering by our loved ones..This was NOT the case for my loved one!  This grief journey is rough for me...I don't want to let go.. I don't want to forget anything!  I hope your grief journey is not too painful for you!! hugs

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Re: Loss of wife

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peachy... thanks for the thoughts. No, I believe they did all they could do. Of course, had we known all that we now know at the end - maybe they could have taken a different course of action that may have prolonged her life.

Yes, I also witnessed the unwritten tendency to "wind things down" because of age and medical prognosis. 

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Re: Loss of wife

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Tim,  Sending caring thoughts to you!  it hurts so much to lose them! I am wondering if there were medical error(s) that hastened her passing...I think Medical error(s) hastened my soulmates passing...I have concerns that there is a trend toward ageism practices in our Medical systems...that the medical practices are less careful with their senior citizen/elderly patients..

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Re: Loss of wife

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wow Frank - strangly familiar! I lost my wife of 38 years just 4/29 this year... went into the hospital with lower GI symptoms, had emergency surgery and was never able to recover. Three weeks!

 

We just never know the time my friend. I hope you find peace - you need to take care of yourself in the intrem. Hopefully you have family around that you can lean on to help get you through this dark period. Have faith brother - you will make it through! I like to keep the thought that my wife has transcended through this pain and suffering world - to a place that is bright, painless and beautiful. And, that she would NOT want to see you suffering!

 

hang tight my friend...

 

Tim   

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Re: Loss of wife

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Frank, I do understand!!  My soulmate of 59 years passed suddenly (and under some horrible circumstances) some months ago! I too had and am still having reactions very similiar to your reaction. I have not felt I could be around people without showing my grief and sadness.. This grief "journey" does change some over time (for me it has).. I do not think it is better just different!  Here is a link to a resource that is very helpful to me..I receive an email from them every day..I signed up via a funeral home...If you want to try this (free) you could maybe sign up at this link or find a funeral home in your area that offers this service free!   here is my link  http://www.weatherfordmortuary.com/grief-support/365-days-of-healing     My heart and hugs to you Frank.. it is a heart breaking journey that there are no words to describe the hurt we feel!!

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Re: Loss of wife

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Your story sounds very much like my neighbor who lost his wife 12 years ago. After about a year and a half he started dating a widow friend who had lost her husband 13 years ago. They spend about half their time at each other`s home(40 miles apart) and spend 6 weeks together in Florida and other trips. Time is the only healer of loss and hope you find solace with friends and relatives. Hang in there.

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Loss of wife

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My name is Frank from NJ. On May 5, 2018 .I lost my beloved wife and best friend of 41 years. I am devistated to say the least. I'm a lost sole. I walk around our house crying just about all day long. I miss her termendously. I just don't get why this had to happen as she was only 65 years old. She past from a stomach infection she could not conquor. I cannot stay in our house as the memories over come me. cleaning out the house we shared for 38 years is also a tough task as all the memories are here. I try to cherish the good time time we had together and there are many but her death just overcomes me. I'm having a hard time moving on. I know I have to get out etc. but have no desire to without my wife. I have not left this house for  just about any thing except when I had to. l realize it has only been a few weeks but I'm having a hard time coping. Moring are extremely tough when I wake to as empty house. Her favorite chair is empty.

 

Frank 

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