I like being alone, but it can get lonely

[jr39971692]

The subject line probably sounds confusing, but to me, it's been a way of life. I'm in my 60's, am a retired teacher, and have always been a loner, probably leaning towards social anxiety. The thing is, it gets lonely. Email is perfect for me. If I make a mistake, I can simply go back and fix it. This probably sounds crazy, huh?

[st18688804]

HI,

  No, it doesn't sound crazy, I am a semi-retired nanny, I have become a loner since the passing of my husband almost five years ago. I also prefer email as you said it is easier to correct mistakes, although spell check can get a bit much.

Shari

[besslewis]

Hey Jeanie,  you sound just like me.  I have always been a loner and felt like I didn't belong.  I worked for 46 years .in an office and finally retired, actually enjoying being around people  But, at home, I want to be alone.  My kids don't understand me even though we socialize.  Stupidly I tried a dating website...what a joke!  What is wrong with people!  LOL!

I thought I would enjoy chatting on this website because I don't have to go anywhere. However, I to get lonely.  With all the crap going on in the country, it's really bringing me down.  I feel like sitting around, talking with people my age and just having a big hearty laugh!  I think that would do me a world of good.  Just remember God loves you and He is in control.

Enjoy your day...Rebecca

[Constantitan]

Hello Jeanie,

I can completely relate to what you are saying. I am also a teacher and I find that my classroom persona is very outgoing and engaging. Outside of the classroom, I am more withdrawn and socially awkward at best. I don't like small talk or gossip. In school, I would sometimes force myself to walk around during a break just to force myself to interact with someone. The truth is most of the time I enjoy the solitude and the silence. But, I still miss social interactions. 

[PatM334058]

Hey Jeannie....

Wow...  I understand completely.  I'm a bit of a loner, too.  For years, my best friend was someone I communicated with mostly by phone (she had moved from my area).  I've always had a few casual acquaintances, people who are nice, but just happen to be there (co-workers, neighbors).  I have hobbies (reading, long solitary walks, various crafts, and I love to write.)  I must add, I have a loving family.

So how can I be lonely, right?  Well my best friend now has dementia.  I miss her terribly.  I have a few casual acquaintances, but the pandemic makes it impossible to see them.  Visits with kids / grandkids are also less frequent because of the pandemic.  And when I do see them, it's from a safe distance.  A-u-g-h.

I've always treasured alone time, but this has become too much.  I've been making afghans with loop yarn (very fast and easy) and saving them to donate to the Linus Project when the world opens up again.  I try to stay in touch with people via e-mail, text and phone.  And in an effort to find something else to do, I went online and found this community.  I've only posted a few things, but it has helped keep me busy and somewhat connected.

I agree with what you said about e-mail.  I love it.  It gives me a chance to express myself in a safe way.  (Re-read and go back to correct mistakes, or think, "Why the heck did I say that?  And correct before sending.)

Take good care.....   Hang in there....

Pat 

[RichardL509885]

I don't mind being alone if I have something to do that is better done alone. Spending time with people I like, however, is important too. 🙂

[ElizabethS57894]

I totally get that.  I'm an introvert and LOVE being alone, but at the same time I feel lonely.  I don't want to go to social events, but I want to have friends.  It is hard to have friends when I don't like getting together! 

When I was younger it was not a problem because I was into horses, and when I boarded my horse at a stable I made several good friends because we were each at the barn doing what we loved and we would sometimes trail ride together, go out for pizza afterwards, go watch a horse show or horse auction together, etc.

But I moved to another state and got my own little tiny acreage and although I still have some contact with old friends through Facebook and LinkedIn and holiday cards, it is not the same.

Also I got old (63) and no longer have horses and cannot afford the horse habit anymore (need to save for retirement).

I wish I could find a hobby that I loved like I loved horses that would bring me in contact with a new pool of potential friends. 

I have seen that there is a meetup in a town nearby that meets on Saturday mornings at 10 AM, but I still work and don't want to have to get up on Saturday morning, plus after a work week of the horrid open office environment at work, I don't want to be in proximity to another human! ha ha

Do you have any hobby that would help you develop some friendships?

[JoeT946788]

Hi Elizabeth, 

I feel you, I lived on my sailboat for four years. Since I have become a landlubber I have many hobbies. I love growing plants and am exploring the art of bonsai. It involves a lot of attention and can be very rewarding. It cam be time consuming and you get out whatever you put into it. If you would like to email you can reach me at jefferson458@yahoo.com

Joe

[RosemaryF433825]

Living on a sailboat for four years sounds really interesting and having the possibility of being really exciting!!  Do you have some great stories to tell about it?

[PatD104587]

You are not old.....I am 69, still help seniors who need assistance....live on 6 acres with 5 adopted animals and watch beautiful sunset every night. Just because we are labeled"old", doesn't mean we are.....hang in there. We can play bingo later.........

[VickiM68]

Hi Jeanie,

Welcome to the online community! Let us know if you have any questions as you explore the various forums. One you might want to check out is Our Front Porch--a great place to check in daily (if you want) and meet others and form online friendships.

Enjoy!

Vicki