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Re: First time caregiver

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Hi Linda,

My wife suffered cardiac arrest and a stroke in June 2017.  She has a history of congestive heart failure and 2017 has been her worst year.  She was in the hospital and rehab for 2 months recovering from weakness and paralysis on her right side.  She returned home and I was her sole caregiver 24/7 until early October 2017 which included taking care of her daily living activities including managing medications, doctor visits, outpaitient therapy, shopping, homemaking, etc.   Unfortunately she has had a setback in October 2017 and is back in the hospital.  This time she is suffering from the onset of vascular dementia symptoms.  I now realize that I can no longer care for her and that she needs 24/7 attention by medical and  demetia professionals.  My doctor told me that I need to take care of myself and that I cannot continue to provide help by myself.   If I continue my health will also decline and we will both suffer.  So do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You need to so you can provide for your loved one 

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Hi Linda, 

I am so sorry it took some time to follow back with a reply. You see even thou my mom is no longer here their is so much to also do after they pass that will keep me busy for a while. It is a hard job to do when you are caring for your mom.

My mom used a walker and had oxygen daliy and I also took her to all of her doctor appts. I was the 24/7 person.I had homehealtcare for a little while and people would always say oh you are getting help but guess what you still have to answer the door when they come and totally change whatever was planned that day, so in otherwords you were on their time, I never knew what my day would be like . I would get calls at all times of the day and night from her (I really miss those now) I mainly stayed downstairs thru out the day so I was close by and I could check on her 24/7 when ever I wanted to. I hope this helps some.

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My brother and I have recently been thrusted into being caregivers. I made a concious decision left my happy life and moved from one part of the state to another to give my brother help. I moved in with my Mom and my brother gives time as he has it. The resources and paperwork while met to be helpful are overwhelming to say the least. The common thread I hear after are you crazy is take care of yourself! I'm about to look into respite care to get the time off. I'm not the sure if it's a blessing or a curse to have time off because I find myself getting depressed when my "free to be me" time is up and I have to go back to being a caregiver. The saddest part is I don't think other caregivers can take my Mom's personality and demeanor...leaving me to think no one can take care of my Mom like I do...I find this to be the most daily confusing experience I've been faced with. It would be nice to find a caregiver group that meets and fosters the feeling of "you're not alone". So, with all of that said, check with your city and county for services they offer seniors. Hang in there!

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at are her insurance coverage for home care or respite for yourself and is she the Widow of a vet

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Senioradvisor.com ........ VOA.org (volunteers in action ..... Eldercaredirectory.org

or just search for caregiver help on the Internet.  You can find a computer to use at many libraries. I took care of my mom for the last two years of her life, but she was healthy, walked a mile every day, and I cooked healthy meals for us....I really had it easy.  My heart goes out to you.  Good luck... And Go get 'em, kid.  🤓

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How did you handle it for 3 years? Do you have any tips or advice? I'm in way over my head here. 

Thank you for your response

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Linda,

You should not feel guilty for going out you will need a break. I took care of my mother for 3 plus years 

 

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First time caregiver

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Hi my name is Linda, I am a first time caregiver to my mom full time. My father and both my brothers have passed away, so I am the only child left. I have No one that can relieve me for a day away or a night out. Our neighbor is awesome about checking on her when I go to the store or the Dr.  But she's not really keen on putting her on a bed pan, which means she has to wear a diaper. I am in over my head here, I have taken care of power of attorney for health and financial. But I have no clue what else needs to be done. Or how to get a break, I feel guilty every time I have to go out.  All advice is much appreciated.

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