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Caring for Mom with mixed Dementias

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It was interesting to read some of the posts in here to know there are others caring and watching a loved one going through the tormentuous changes in the dementia stages.  Our mom had been living in an assisted living facility for 3 years enjoying life, bingo, trips, friends, etc.  Then out of nowhere, there was a stomach bug going around and next thing she went unresponsive and had seizures.  she was put on seizure med after ecg showed no seizure activity (but abnormality). Then she got released from hopsital and ended up with UTI that turned sepsis; she had antibiotics for week and then was released.  her anxiety level went really high; she was placed in a nursing facility Dementia unit and early on her first nite there they actually gave her 2 shots of haldol.  She never had that stuff and we were never notified that until we went the next day and she was in a terrible state - drooling, and fixated with the toilet, getting up down.  most horrible thing to see;  we made them call ambulance cause we knew it was not normal for her.  she went to hopsital where she was trying to bit, hit, kick, and calling family/doctors, bad names (totally out of her normal demeanor).  needeless to say she spend a few days in the hospital and we ensured that her records say alergic to haldol.  We learned the hard way to make sure family members records say alergic to all pyschiatric meds and are not to be given whatsoever.  we were very upset, the doctor had never even seen her yet and he ordered the haldol over the phone.  We asked why they gave her that and not called us first if there was an issue. 

Things have just progressed from there.  can write a book of all the stuff my mom has been through and continues to go through.  she is in a nursing facilty for past 3 years. ups and downs there too. 

would be nice if we could keep her home but with everyone working etc.  can't do it.  we had her at home for about 4 months with aids but the dementia got worse and she went bak in hospital. 

she is agrressive when being cared for; will pinch, scratch etc.  they usually hae 2 aids to do care to try to hold her hands.  she gets shower once week when i schedule it to have family there.  she is a feed (pureua but she likes reg food too).  she actually knows us (her children and some of the grandchildren) and will call us by our name - but she calls us other names and calls us bad names as well as others in her space.  she cuz's and would never say the things she does now.. She is a complete hoyer lift for past 3 years.  cannot stand or bear weight.  she lost around 60 pounds in past year.  Its heartbreaking to watch her going through this.  we had no family history and the dementia and its behaviors are so hard to watch someone who would never say and act out like mom does now is beyond comprehending for us.  my mom just turned 77 so having a fully involved mom and grandmom one day and watching how this dementia took over her life is so hard to watch.  We are greatful that she knows us for the most part and it is blessing to hear her call us (her children) by our name when we are with her.  At times I wish to have my old mom back but I know I can't change what is before me so when i hear her call my name I know it is in love so that is my mommy telling me she loves me...

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