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Question

 What are some good dating tips for men over 50?

 

Answers

  • Life is not high school. Act mature. You are missing out on a LOT of great women because you still think the prom queen is waiting for you. Really?

  • Take a look at yourself in the mirror — Are you neat, clean, hair cut, clothes pressed, beard trimmed? Seriously — please make an effort. We don't care about the belly or the bald spot — we DO care about someone who takes a shower and brushes his teeth.

  • Act interesting as well as be interested! Some of you are advertising for mothers, nurses, and maids — not friends and partners. It shows. If you can't initiate a conversation at this point, and ask questions about her and her life....what makes you think we are willing to do the same?  We may be lonely, but we are not desperate.

  • We get you all like football, cars, and NASCAR. So — go enjoy it. We don't have to be joined at the hip. Hopefully, if we TALK we will find mutual likes, etc.

  • Drop the "I don't do drama" line. This has to be the most selfish line ever written because what you are really saying is that you never figured out how to discuss and resolve a conflict with another human being, and you are not even willing to try. And you say you are ready for a relationship?

  • Be OK in terms of taking care of yourself; it's not about a lot of money; it's about knowing what to do with what you have. Take care of your business. It's how you build trust with us.

  • Great physical intimacy isn't always about an erection. It's about being willing to be romantic; it's about touching; it's about exploring; it's about deriving pleasure from what you CAN give as much as from what you can get. Buy a book — read about it. Or better yet, ASK us.

  • Don't lie, cheat, steal, etc. It's wrong. And you don't have to; believe us when we tell you, we women have been through so much by this time in our lives, we can smell a line of BS at 50 paces. Save us all the time and trouble. You want want to go — tell us and go. We will eat a pint of ice cream this time, and go to bed. The sun will still rise in the morning and set at night.

  • Life on this side of the line is shorter — we ALL could use a lot more laughter, love, great sex, and someone that cares in our lives. We are ALL looking for each other. What we need you to do is clean your window and let us really see you as you are.

  • Life IS shorter — stop wasting time. Ask. Dare to start something. Do something — ANYTHING. Just don't sit there and let us pass by.

 

 

For those of you who are tired of being alone I empathize. I lost my wife of 52 years to cancer. I had not dated for, here goes, more than a half century. I was alone for a while and at 73 my chances of finding some one was declining with my age. To add insult to injury I had to call my 47 year old son to see what the rules were.

 

I quickly enliminated bar hopping, church and friends. That left living by my self, standing on the corner with a sign, or going on the Internet. I decided to join a dating site for seniors. I am fairly tech savvy so the mechanics of the search were easy. Figuring out who I was and what I wanted was the hard part then writing that with a semblance of understanding was daunting as well.

 

Then came the pictures. I seldom was in our pictures I was the picture taker, so I had to have someone take them for me.

 

I hit the enter button and was out there. Trust me on this there are a lot of very nice women out there. As irishmist says "dare to do something" and that means get out there and seek dates. After one mistaken relationship, I regrouped, refocused, and hit the dating scene again. This time I knew who and what I was seeking as well as I knew what my deal killers were. 

 

I dated about 12 to 15 very nice women before I found the one that knocked my boots off. Unlike the recommendations, our first date was 8.5 hours long. I had scheduled a four week cruise to get away from it all and do some writing. Through email and phone calls we fostered feeling for each other and fell. In love. We have been together now for going on two years. 

 

Love is out there, however it will not fall in your lap. Be willing to follow irishmist's comments, be sure you 8nderstand what you want, a be sure you never compromise on your deal killers.

 

Now get out there.

 

 

 

BINGO! I like your number 5  "I don't do drama".  I see many posts with the statements...........

 

"AND NO DRAMA PLEASE"...........................really, I think to myself.

 

Is not life filled with drama? As we get older do we just let all of our emotions leave us and become unfeeling and unthinking?????????????

 

Statistically men that reach the 50ish age bracket should have a clue about relationships, yeah I know, sorry ladies, it takes us that long to get the wisdom we need, just the way that it is.

 

Since I am a man, here is my advice for any man. Look at her for the "Look".

 

                                              Remember the "Look" guys?????

 

Only a woman can give you that special look. It's in her eyes (AND NOT THE BEDROOM EYES). That "LOOK" she has when you enter a room........It doesn't matter if she is 18 or 118, a woman's look will always remain one of the most grandest looks on earth. If you miss the look, then you're still a fool..................And by the way guys, if you're staring at and rating her breasts to measure up to your standards....................YOU WILL MISS HER LOOK...................because she will stop looking at you because she knows what you are looking at and focused on. So you best read Irishmist's post, she is correct on her thoughts and ideas. And not only 50+ year women think this way, women have always thought this way even when they were 18 years old. We men are the ones who got MOST of it wrong, we didn't really mean to screw things up, but we did it all the same.

 

I also agree with Irishmist, we men and women all get old, we get wrinkles, get some grey hair, we might lose hair, etc., but that's no reason to not try and maintain what we have left and wear some clean clothes once in a while  : ) :.............................and DO NOT give up on yourself because you are getting OLD. Quit sitting around thinking of how nice it would B2B 25 years old again. Too late, those years are gone. Chin up and have fun with what you have and what time you have left.

 

If you get that look from a woman again in your life, then as suggested in the original post,

 

                                                   don't  lie to her AT ALL 

        (LYING IS THE TOP of the DO NOT DO LIST with woman, so don't do it)

 

and tell her everything she wants to know about you. Tell her about your past mistakes if she wants to know and you might just have your new best friend, and that's what it's all about. 

 

I disagree with Irishmists post concerning the statement:

                                        "we can smell a line of BS at 50 paces"

 

guys........ Women can smell a line of BS from 500 paces and beyond that!, they always could, they just tolerated it when they were younger ladies. Am I wrong here ladies? I think not.

 

So guys, READ Irishmist's post, read it another 10 times so it will sink in, and read the replies to the post..........................bottom line is gentlemen, it's what most woman WANT, it's what they have always wanted.................and it's time for us men to want the same thing...............an honest relationship, some smiles and laughs together, a hand to hold, side by side and a best friend, all the other stuff will naturally fall into place if you give it a chance too.

 

On second thought guys, read the original post another 20 times..........just in case it doesn't sink in at first Smiley Happy

 

 

 

I was very heartened to see Irishmist's post such an on-point comment about what we men should he thinking about when we go back into dating. As a single male for the past 8 years, I have had my share of misadventures disguised as bad dates. Well, bad from her perspective. I did not have a clue. I was unceremoniously dumped by my latest ex-wife and found myself basically a mess. My dating exploits would have made 50 First Dates a horror flick.

 

My internet profile picture was the “Dummy” in Dating for Dummys.

 

A friend of mine who is new to the 50+ dating scene asked me just last night what is the biggest difference between now and then. I couldn’t name just one, but I started with she is not the same woman you dated when you were in your 20s. She is free, has her own life and does not need a man. And she is not looking for someone who “needs” her.

 

I believe the most important trait in the early stages of a relationship is listening. Actually not just in dating, but in life. You will get a chance to tell your stories. Listen to hers. Be genuinely interested. Pay attention. It is natural for people to like to talk about themselves. It makes them feel good if someone responds positively to it. Ask follow-up questions and wait for her to make it your turn.

 

I learned a lot of things the hard way. Therapy and learning from 50 Worst Dates helped me deal with the reality of dating at this age. 

 

 

OMG!!!  Loved this, especially the line of smelling BS. The last one really hit home. As someone who has been doing the online dating thing for the past 16 months since my hubby of 20+ yrs and I separated. Good grief! The number of men online that are so afraid of taking a step of any kind to meet someone they may actually like is absolutely astounding!

 

If I were going to add anything to this it would be "don't wait for someone else to make the first step. If you are interested in getting to know someone better and want to meet them, ask for a date. If you don't, someone else will." PERIOD!!!

 

 

Start with the gym wookout, church, yard sales, grocery store, sports venues, or playing coed sports.

 

Ice skating or ice fishing, roller skating, boating, going to a sports game.

 

 

Try starting a Meetup. You can start anything: walks, hikes, movies. You can meet like-minded people and have fun too. 

 

 

I had not dated for over 1/2 century. My 50-year-old son was no help, so I thought about asking my grandchildren and well no.

 

There is no reason to be afraid. I chose a dating site. It offered options, and privacy. If I found someone of interest, I could ask questions via messages. If it went past that, I could do due diligence.

 

What is difficult is realizing who you really are and who/what you are looking for. Until you answer these questions, do not start. I say that from expirience. I didn’t at first and made a recoverable mistake. 

 

I went back to the drawing board and had success. She and I have been together for almost 4 years now.

 

Comments
Dating and dating sites are almost guaranteed to make most men cringe at the hoops they must jump through. Not that women have it any easier. The problem is two people need to start out openly and honestly. Instead fear, frustration and in ability to connect make first conversations awkward and future communcation difficult. People want fun and friendship. Dating sites only inflame lonliness and make it seem no one is out there who understands.

And talk....geesh guys. You spent time, maybe put your credit card up and answered a few questions. Now SPEAK UP! IF a profile interests you, SAY something for goodness sake! Don't just smile and move on.

 

Unless you are just there for your own entertainment.

 

I went thru the same hassles to create my profile as well but am not going to always be 1st one to try to have a conversation.

 

If you don't speak up from behind the screen, you probably won't be able to have a real life conversation either. 

 

Maybe I should cancel my dating site subscription and join the gym?

Dating sites tend to have people with barriers in place based on assumptions. Creativity, humor and kindness are often misinterpreted. People should be more open about connecting and trusting, but many single women on dating sites seem to get involved with unusual men who do inappropriate things. When they describe the culprits, they all seem to be every man. Hence making any connection is difficult until you somehow prove you are boring. By then most women seem shallow.

Try meet up groups. No pressure, just activities you like and people to meet. If it turns into something more then great!

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