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Re: lack of...

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@silkearth  Some people feel self-conscious about sex counseling, meds don't always work and the "equipment" you may be referring to might be more of a "turn-off" than "turn on the fun."

 

It's time for both of you to start educating yourselves about the pleasures of sexual activities rather than the mechanics of penetrative sex.  It's time to stimulate your imaginations (and yourselves) to the possible and stop grieving for what used to be.

 

There are lots of men's and women's health magazines & books out there that address the situation.  There are just as many, if not more, websites available which can provide guidance and/or education, specific information regarding sex toys, sexy lingerie, lubes, gels, videos, movies, etc. and where to purchase them.

 

Bottom line is this:  Which is more important...preserving a loving relationship or quickly eliminating the specific sexual frustration you're feeling due to his lack of...???  Only you can make that determination.

 

Here's a couple of articles to get you started:  https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/married-and-still-doing-it/201006/what-wives-think-when-their-h...

 

http://www.goodinbed.com/miniguides/2010/01/erectile-problems-and-erectile-dysfunction-ed.php

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: lack of...

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This is not an easy situation, but you need to communicate with your partner and be honest. It seems that you have three options: 1) do nothing and nothing changes 2) develop a fantasy life and lover with erotic stories and self pleasure 3) tell your partner that this is something you need in your life and then find a lover.

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lack of...

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What do you do when he can't and you still want sex? about 20 years difference. We have tried counselors, meds, equipment, etc. It is the old prostate problem. I care for him but am feeling very frustrated by the situation. 

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