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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 1 of 35

Thank you for your participation. This thread is now closed. 

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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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@Prosecco6247

 

OK I take it all back. I didn’t go to school on an Indian reservation. I did not live alone in the wilderness for 4 years while going to high school. I didn’t get a full university scholarship. I do not have a genius IQ. I never modeled, never owned a TV production studio nor a weaving studio and I have never won an award or a gold medal. I have climbed exactly zero mountains and I have survived exactly nothing. Also I’m not a chef nor have I ever written a book (much less 4) or a magazine article. I stole my profile picture from the internet.

 

Except that I have done all those things, have been IQ tested twice and gotten the same result and that is a photo of me taken by (brace yourself) DH’s robot when I was 47. So what do we do about that?

 

Like I said I am truly sorry my words upset you. That was not my aim.

 

Can we stop this now?

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 3 of 35


@Epster wrote:

@Prosecco6247 Gracious. Hm. Well, I do not know how what I said brought that on. I was thinking that you and I were finally having a decent conversation, only to find that I somehow upset you. I'm truly sorry. That was not my aim. 

I wasn't saying my having been a Bible teacher meant my view was more qualified than yours (or anyone else's), simply letting you know the background. We will disagree and interpret things differently. That's not only fine, it's actually beautiful. At least I think so. 

@Epster I am pretty much immune to being offended and upset by someone writing his or her opinions on an internet discussion board.  You are giving yourself a lot of credit for power you do not own if you think you upset me by what you wrote.  Please re-examine your interpretation of my post from another perspective and see if you can deduce the message I was trying to send.  It's really not that difficult.  I believe you are being disingenuous when you say, "Gracious. Hm. Well, I do not know how what I said brought that on."  Take some time and think about it.  Here's a clue...you said something similar in another discussion when you failed to grasp the meaning in the posts of several different individuals.  You appeared to take a whole group to task for their remarks and yet your message was no different...you just embellished it with more personal information than most people care to know...and in doing that, you left yourself vulnerable and exposed.

 

Different opinions are a good thing.   Nothing wrong with that.  I applaud and encourage diverse opinions.  Intelligent people often disagree...each for his own worthy reason.

 

What, actually upsets me is injustice, violence, racial inequality, political and social instability, oppression, violation of human rights, war, religious persecution, human trafficking, crimes against women and girls, world hunger and famine, climate change denial, global economic crises, poor stewardship and squandering of natural resources, air and water pollution, over-population, gender disparity, denial of sexual and gender identity issues, scarcity of clean water and health care.  The list goes on but I'll stop here in the interest of brevity. 

 

As you can see, there is a long inventory of considerably more important issues that concern me than whether I'll look foolish stating my opinion in a public discussion forum.  I'm grateful that I've been tested by the fire and have become stronger for it.  I've no need to always be "right" nor the smartest nor best-educated person in the room.  I understand my strengths and weaknesses and  I have no need to return again and again to justify and clarify my words and actions.  I weigh my words carefully before they are uttered or written down and published on the internet.  I'm sure I don't need to remind you that the internet is forever.  

 

I also know how to set healthy boundaries for myself and protect them.  I know my values and my own value as a human being.  I do not intentionally violate others' boundaries and if I should ever inadvertently do it, I make a sincere apology immediately.  My apology will be crystal clear and I will accept complete responsibility for my actions.  I won't say, "I'm sorry YOU took it that way" or "I'm sorry YOU were offended."  I will say instead, "I'm sorry MY words caused you discomfort" or "I'm sorry I offended you."

 

I don't feel the need to state my qualifications when making a post.  If someone doubts my knowledge or veracity, he can ask and I'll provide an answer.  In the same vein, I won't question someone else unless there is sufficient reason to do so.  It's pretentious and off-putting to other participants in the discussion.

 

And lastly, (to answer your question from a thread in another discussion,) the main reason that putting too much personal information out there on the internet via this or any other forum is discouraged is because one is setting himself up to be victimized in one way or another.  It's simply not best practice.  The secondary reason is that (T.M.I.) is much more personal information than one needs or even wants to know about someone else.  Some types of information are best discussed in a private email with a trusted person.  The use of smaller bits of harmless personal information in order to illustrate an anecdote is acceptable but divulging one's life story to a mass audience is not recommended.  It turns people off.

 

I hope we are clear now.


"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 4 of 35

@Prosecco6247 Gracious. Hm. Well, I do not know how what I said brought that on. I was thinking that you and I were finally having a decent conversation, only to find that I somehow upset you. I'm truly sorry. That was not my aim. 

 

I wasn't saying my having been a Bible teacher meant my view was more qualified than yours (or anyone else's), simply letting you know the background. We will disagree and interpret things differently. That's not only fine, it's actually beautiful. At least I think so. 

 

 

 

 

 


@Prosecco6247 wrote:

@Epster You have remarked before about "being misunderstood" on these forums and have made attempts to "clarify" your remarks in the past.

 

Just an observation, but perhaps this is a result of your own misunderstanding of others' original topics and the subsequent responses.

 

Once again, you have missed the point.  It appears that your desire to have the last word is causing you to narrow your focus rather than looking at the post as a whole and understanding what the poster is saying.

 

I was stating an opinion, in general, and I have no intention of getting into a spitting contest with you about anything.  My words speak for themselves and I have no further comment.

 

Lastly, stating your "qualifications" to opine on a particular topic is pretty tricky...you have no knowledge of the other posters' education, experience and qualifications and if they choose to engage with you, you may find yourself in quicksand.  I have no doubt that you are an intelligent woman and are probably looking for an outlet to express your ideas, but just as a reminder, this is a friendly discussion forum and most of us come here for a pleasant experience, not necessarily a battle of wits.

 

 


 

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 5 of 35

@Epster You have remarked before about "being misunderstood" on these forums and have made attempts to "clarify" your remarks in the past.

 

Just an observation, but perhaps this is a result of your own misunderstanding of others' original topics and the subsequent responses.

 

Once again, you have missed the point.  It appears that your desire to have the last word is causing you to narrow your focus rather than looking at the post as a whole and understanding what the poster is saying.

 

I was stating an opinion, in general, and I have no intention of getting into a spitting contest with you about anything.  My words speak for themselves and I have no further comment.

 

Lastly, stating your "qualifications" to opine on a particular topic is pretty tricky...you have no knowledge of the other posters' education, experience and qualifications and if they choose to engage with you, you may find yourself in quicksand.  I have no doubt that you are an intelligent woman and are probably looking for an outlet to express your ideas, but just as a reminder, this is a friendly discussion forum and most of us come here for a pleasant experience, not necessarily a battle of wits.

 

 

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness." ~ Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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@ASTRAEA -

" I'd rather take my time & think things thru, and get things right (rather than "mediocre"), instead of jumping to conclusions & getting things wrong. "

There is a wonderful book by Danny Kahnemann - "Thinking, Fast and Slow"which explains how and why this is what we all do automatically. Dr Kahnemann is one of my favorite people.
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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 7 of 35

@wilful - Not sure the interpretation of "Run wherever you are" meaning having the brain (rather than the body) "running" is a good idea either. I'd rather take my time & think things thru, and get things right (rather than "mediocre"), instead of jumping to conclusions & getting things wrong. Smiley Happy


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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Hi Astraea -   this one:

 

"What about “Run, wherever you are,” why .. and create panic or an accident?"

 

I did not take this literally, but as a state of mind condition; i.e. to be thinking fast - you know- lotsa motion up in the old brain. As opposed to slouching(mentally) along like a snail.  Works for me, anyway.

 

While (rapidly) thinking and writing  - I thought of a very old list I usta have up on the fridge - and lo and behold - it was obtainable from the wonderful Internet.  I could only recall a few of the sayings,, but here for your perusal (and enlightenment) :-)  is the whole list:

 

 

Kimo’s Rules are the ten commandments of living aloha. They are posted right opposite my desk and I live by them.

Never judge a day by the weather.

The best things in life aren’t things.

Tell the truth–there’s less to remember.

Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.

Goals are deceptive–the unaimed arrow never misses.

He who dies with the most toys–still dies.

Age is relative–when you’re over the hill you pick up speed.

There are two ways to be rich–earn more or desire less.

Beauty is internal–looks mean nothing.

No rain–no rainbows.

 

 

 

 

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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 9 of 35

@ASTRAEA wrote:

@Prosecco6247 - I went back & reread the original list of “30 Crucial Things to Know About Life”, and they really are quite a hodge-podge of very good universal truths, laced with someone’s personal priorities, and some fairly trite thoughts. Who believes that “everything is mediocre” .. what I do isn’t, nor is it acceptable when someone does work for me. And “Don’t get disheartened”; if someone is, just saying they shouldn’t be isn’t much help. What about “Run, wherever you are,” why .. and create panic or an accident?

 


@ASTRAEA

 

LOL! Exactly! 

 

On that everything is mediocre, I wondered if that was just a way to let oneself off the hook. (Good and bad in that, depending upon specific practice)

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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Re: 30 (+1) Crucial Things to Know About Life

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Message 10 of 35

@Prosecco6247 Well, I hope this is readable. Apologies if it is not.

 


I'll stand pat on my opinion of those ubiquitous lists.  

*** Good. I expect nothing less from you.

 

 Pre-digested and insipid, they're a quick fix for those who devour information but who really want to hit the highlights and skip the reading required for true enlightenment.  

*** Well. I don’t know I disagree, though I think the language here is … uhhh … just not what I would use. Some are only able to take on the predigested. Let them. Some will avoid deep thought. Let them. Some can barely manage the quick fix. Let them. Some will avoid true enlightenment. Let them. Because it takes all kinds to make up this crazy patchwork quilt we call humanity, and, as a favorite pastor used to say ‘they are not your servant; you do not know what they were told to do.’
 
I'm not passing judgment here because in our fast-paced society some people have little time for reading.  Some find reading a sedentary activity and would much rather spend their time moving about.  Some read so much in the course of their jobs, they'd rather do anything else.  To each his own...everyone must follow his own muse.  

***Right. What seems banal for one is treasure for another. (Check out how many views this thread has gotten. Somebody is reading it.)

 

There is no "right" way to absorb new information and ideas so it's really a personal preference.

*** On this we agree.
 
Quotes are another thing entirely. ..

*** Hm. Thinking my meaning was misunderstood. I was not thinking to improve upon great quotes, but to meld them into my own thinking, to ingest them, really, to experience the points of agreement, if any.


 
My comment about the quotation came about because I am always struck by how many ways there are to say the same thing

***Understood. (The very glory of the English language, that.)


Since you brought up the Bible though, the major theme is "love one another" as you stated.  A theme is not necessarily repetition.  

*** Well, we disagree somewhat. You are, of course, free to your opinion and assessment. Mine comes in part from years spent as a Bible teacher. Also, a favorite pastor once quipped as much from the pulpit about the repetition of the Bible’s message. God is love; love one another.

I do realize I think like a preacher and often express myself thusly, and while I sincerely want the absolute best for every human being, I am not so enamored with myself that I think I have the absolute keys to happiness. Nor am I confused: I am not the gatekeeper to Heaven. A person’s spirituality is between them and their God, if any. I am not he/she/it.

"The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Julius Erving
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