@cynthia0602 I'm so very sorry to hear of your loss - brought tears to my eyes hearing of what you are going through. Caring for your great-grand-daughter while grieving and trying to deal with estate planning and more. It's so much to do at a time when I wouldn't be surprised if you'd rather just crawl in bed or walk on a beach or just do nothing.
Be gentle with yourself. There is no one right way to grieve - let it unfold and ride the waves...
I have been through the process of grieving for multiple people (lost my niece to suicide, a year later my Mom (who lived with me), a year later my oldest sister. All while I was still caregiving for my Dad who is now 94 and has Alzheimer's (constant journey of grief). I sometimes think that some day I'll have a big crash, as I just keep doing the next thing. I try not to avoid the grief, I acknowledge it when it comes and then keep going. I figure that however I cope is ok (as long as it isn't unhealthy!) and I gain comfort by knowing I'm still doing my best for my Dad, especially because I know Mom would want that.
But your grief is so fresh...give yourself time. I, too, wear my Mom's clothes sometimes! I've worn her robe every since she died - it's comforting! Do what you need/want to do and don't let anyone tell you there is a specific timeline for grief.
Many blessings to you - so glad you posted and reached out. Here is an article that might be helpful to you from the AARP Family Caregiving Site: 5 Surprising Truths About Grief (it's especially about spouses grieving).
Take care,
Amy Goyer, AARP Family & Caregiving Expert
Author, Juggling Life, Work and Caregiving and
Color Your Way Content When Caring for Loved Ones