You are Doing Better than You Think

[SueS788527]

I wanted to share several AHA moments that I had in the last few weeks.  I was surprised that after 2+ years since my husband’s passing, I am feeling more positive and hopeful for the future.  This was gradual. I know that my husband will always be part of my life, but somewhere along the way I lost the anger, guilt, and bitterness.  These were strong emotions.  Regret is still part of my life and primarily wishing he was here to be with me to enjoy some of the better moments.  Being here through the tough moments would also be a relief!  Having said that, one of my griefs share buddies said that he saw a big improvement in my attitude!  I was surprised.  Upon reflection, he was right.  I lost the anger primarily due to actively working to forgive.  Not easy, I just took it one step at a time to avoid self-pity.  I guess the key is to stay alert and try to honestly deal with your challenges. As an example, I recently met a widow at a volunteer function. She had been hurtful and disapproving to me – ironic how people in key leadership roles can be so negative.  Practicing my forgiveness philosophy, more innately than consciously, I said hello without any feelings of malice.  She had aged significantly (like me) although a younger woman.  Her face had that haunted lost look I had in the first year.  Her husband died the same year my husband died. She seemed to be in the same place.  In fact, she said to me “I am not doing much better, just like you.”  Wow.  Without a second thought, I said that I was no longer in the same place and felt better about life.  That was my AHA moment – until then I did not realize that I felt more hopeful and benevolent.  Peace is now part of my life.  Just sharing, your friend, Sue 

[mc6844]

Thank you Sue. Your hopeful title You Are Doing Better Than You Think is encouraging. You sound good. Take care.