🤗 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)

[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

🐈🐕  [8:44am] SOME OF US HAVE "FURBABIES" IN OUR LIVES. TELL US ABOUT YOURS!

Me - Mr. No Name is a cat who was left behind by his humans when they moved. But refuses to be adopted and LUVED by us all. My boy!!! Nicole 🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[8:12am] WHAT HAS HELPED YOU THE MOST WITH YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  ‌🤔‌

Me - my daughter. Knowing she NEEDS me, the only parent she has left. I still have my monents, but I make an effort for her. Nicole  ‌🤗‌

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[8:08am] Remember. It takes time to fully absorb the impact of a major loss. You never stop missing your loved one, but the pain eases after time and allows you to go on with your life. Nicole  🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

[7:21am] WHAT HAS BEEN THE HARDEST PART OF YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  ‌🤔‌

Me - anger. Anger at NOT having the Love Ones I lost in my life as I age. 66 this year (2024). Nicole  ‌🤗‌

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

AARP has LOTS of resources set up to help us. Thank you AARP!!!

[🔽*** See LINK below ***🔽]

https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/grief-loss-end-of-life/

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

📋  Notify AARP® About A Deceased Member and Update Account (AARP Article) ➡️*** There are 3 Ways to Update a Deceased Member’s AARP Account ***⬅️

[LINK TO ARTICLE BELOW]

https://www.aarp.org/membership/deceased/

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE WHO IS GRIEVING?  🤔  I will ADD your advice to this list! Thanks, Nicole  🤗

My Advice - not everyone is going to "understand" your journey, so find ways to connect with folks who do. Not everyone is going to make time for you. TREASURE THE ONES THAT DO AND THANK THEM!!!  👍

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Be patient with yourself. Mourning takes time. It’s common to feel a mix of emotions for a while.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Talk to your doctor. Be sure to let your healthcare provider know if you’re having trouble with everyday activities, like getting dressed, sleeping, or fixing meals.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Join a grief support group in person or online. It might help to talk with others who are also grieving. Check with your local hospice, hospitals, religious communities, and government agencies to find a group in your area.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Try not to make any major changes right away. It’s a good idea to wait for a while before making big decisions, like moving or changing jobs.

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Be patient. It can take months or even years to absorb a major loss and accept your changed life.

[jonibee]

I came across a book that gives us insight as to how to deal with the loss of loved ones and pets. It's titled "The Love Never Ends" by Sunny Dawn Johnson ..Well worth checking it out....

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Jonibee @jonibee , where did you get YOUR copy?  🤗

[jonibee]

I believe it was from Thrift Books.com .Another great place is the Salvation Army but you have to delve into looking ...

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Thanks Jonibee @jonibee  🤗

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Marcy @MarcyW882921 , hmmm - do you mean setting up the home you shared with a luv one who passed?

In your case, your husband.

[1] The challenge is the bedroom deciding whether to keep the bed you BOTH slept in. Are you keeping yours? I tend to want "reminders" gone - not things like pictures, just furniture.

[2] Another challenge is maybe the ROUTINE you may have had with him. Maybe a garden, or sitting on a porch for morning coffee or watching TV in the evenings. Now the garden can be THERAPY as we can continue to work in it to "honor" him. As far as TV programs - that one is "emotional" and stepping away for some time helped.

Not sure what you are needing but this is my 2 cents worth.

Luv you STRONG AND DETERMINED lady!!!  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MARCY @MarcyW882921 wrote:

So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one.

Marcy ***]

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks Nicole @SpringIsHereSoHappy for weighing in on this topic. All of us are unique as individuals and therefore in our responses to grief.

One of the presenters in the webinars talked about how the minute your loved one passes away your life is changed. The people in this forum certainly know this is true. I think we have discussed the change in one's identity, the search for who you are without that person, and finding one's purpose in life.

Another change is our perception of our living space. Are you comfortable there without your loved one? Can you continue to live there? Are changes needed to improve your comfort level? Is there a desire to "make it your own" reflecting your personal tastes?

I have been very comfortable in my home because I feel love and a presence. I did however do a remodeling of two rooms that we had planned together. I did make selections in the process that reflected my personal tastes. Recently I changed some window treatments and bedspreads that create an even happier place for me.

All the best to everyone who is working through all of these issues.

Marcy

[MarcyW882921]

So...I would be interested in hearing about anyone's journey to create a living space of your own after the loss of a loved one.

Marcy

[mc6844]

Marcy, that is a good topic. Arranging living space is a great way to move oneself forward. Especially if I'm not up to conventional ways like for instance, moving. A counselor pointed out to me that selling my home may feel like another loss. Something that hadn't occurred to me. I did get clutter cleared from my kitchen. Painted the walls. It makes it easier and pleasant. 

[MarcyW882921]

Thanks mc @mc6844 . That is interesting about selling your home being another potential loss. The easier and pleasant changes you made must have felt good! All of this is beneficial information for us on this forum.

Marcy

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

📚  BOOK LIST (books read & recommended by Grief Forum members)  📚

(1) So Sorry for Your Loss: How I Learned to Live with Grief, and Other Grave Concerns. Book by Dina Gachman.

(2) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(3) Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief. Book by Martha Whitmore Hickman.

(4) The Love Never Ends (Messages from the Other Side ) by Sunny Dawn Johnson.

(5) The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O'Connor.

(6) When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold Kushner.

(7) The Widower's Notebook a memoir by Jonathan Santlofer.

(8) Mindfulness & Grief by Heather Stang.

(9) I Wasn't ready To Say Goodbye by Brook Noel & Pamela D. Blair, PhD.

(10) Life After Loss Conquering Grief and Finding Hope by Raymond Moody Jr., M.D. and Dianne Arcangel.

(11) Different After You Rediscovering Yourself and Healing After Grief and Trauma by Michele Neff Hernandez.

(12) Grieving: How to Go on Living when Someone You Love Dies. Book by Therese A Rando.

(13) The Love Never Ends: Messages from the Other Side. Book by Sunny Dawn Johnston.

(14) Widow to Widow by Genevieve Ginsburg.

(15) Build the Life You Want by Arthur C. Brooks and Oprah Winfrey.

(16) Hello from Heaven: A New Field of Research-After-Death Communication Confirms That Life and Love Are Eternal. Book by Bill Guggenheim and Judy Guggenheim.

(17) When Your Spouse Dies, A Widow and Widower's Handbook by Othniel J. Seiden and Jane Bilett.

(18) On Death and Grieving: A Psychic Medium's Perspective. Jeffrey A. Wands.

(19) Journey of Souls by Michael Newton PhD.

[Therapist4u]

Hi Nicole! Great compilation!

KUDOS FOR ALL YOUR EFFORT & TIME YOU PUT INTO THIS!

Keep on Keeping on!

Take care!          

☮️  🌄 ~Allen 🌈  🎨

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Thanks @Therapist4u , we have a GREAT team who "contributed" to OUR list  💙💙💙

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

Are you SLEEPING at nights?  🤔

What "helps" you to get those zzz's in?

I DREAD nights.

Some I am AWAKE ALL NIGHT  💙💙💙

[mc6844]

I think everyone has a "window" when they can get to sleep. Around the same time each night. Keeping busy all day, exercise and keeping blood sugar even. Occasionally none of this helps. Then I play a sleep meditation or healing tape. I've read that older people sleep an average of 4 to 5 hours a night. The good news is that morning arises. I know it isn't easy. 

[SpringIsHereSoHappy]

MC @mc6844 , I am okay the NEXT morning with NO sleep IF I donot have to drive. That is NO fun at all!!!  💙💙💙

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[mc6844]

Agree! I had a night, the other night. But I was looking into the past that evening. Didn't do me any good at all. But we all have rocky nights now and then, no matter what. Part of being human I guess. 

[mc6844]

Nicole I'm sorry you're suffering with sleep issues. Having a cup of hot soup at night might help. Soup has minerals your body needs for many things. Plus it's easy to digest. During the day try eating food that contributes to good sleep like oatmeal, sweet potatoes, salads etc. Building up our systems with nutrients helps sleep. Short walks or a form of exercise gets kinks out of the muscles. Could be your body and mind are going through adjustment to life changes. Not easy, any way you look at it. Except it will more than likely get better with time. Take care, you do such wonderful work on the forum.