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🤗🤎 WE are thinking of YOU! Please Stop By To See Us :)
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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!
Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.
***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***
Grief & Loss Team 🤗🤎
@jimbohretired I’m sorry for your loss. It’s been 5 years for me and it’s still very hard some days. You were blessed with a long marriage and had some retirement years together. Sadly I was still working when my husband passed. And you’re keeping busy in the community and with your friends and that is a great thing. Entertaining in your home is a brave thing, I could not do that. So all things considered, you’re doing well. Keep all that up and good luck to you on this journey no one wants to take. Keep us posted along the way
My daughter is having a cookout Saturday as a meet Beasley and celebrating my 55th birthday. But nothing special on my birthday. I used to work on it unless Labor day fell on it. The only one that was really special was on my 21st. My grandmother promised to take us to dinner wherever I wanted to go. We used to have a restaurant here that had 2 million in artwork back in '89 so can you imagine how much it is worth today? The reason why that was so special was 1-my parents got me a happy birthday bouquet that had a horn and everything. I still have the card and the horn to this day because my Dad died almost 1 month after I turned 21. My dad will be gone 34 years on October 1st. So during dinner my dad and I had a beer. My Dad rarely and I mean rarely drank because his Dad was an alcoholic so that is a good memory for me.
I'm sorry for everyone's losses. I know how hard it us to keep on going, after these changes. A widow friend reminds me often that God still has you here on earth for a reason. Somebody still needs you! I think it's m
(1 comment) ⚠️ GROUP CHAT TIME!
(1) Anyone besides OUR Beatle @BeatleloverKT TRAVELING? 🤔
(2) OUR Mascot Beasley 🐕 has a vet's appointment THIS THURSDAY (8/31/23). MOM Kimberly @KimberlyM389662 has promised to update us on his visit.
(3) FLORIDA. Anyone have family, know someone there or own property? 🤔 I pray this Want To Be A Hurricane goes out to the ocean. Last year, 2022 - too many older folks lost EVERYTHING thanks to Hurricanes Ian and Nicole. 😥
(4) And anything else you guys want to chat about or share. Still hoping OUR Beatle gets around to posting a picture of her 3 ADORABLE granddogs 🐕🐕🐕 - yes, that is a hint Beatle. 🙄🙄🙄
Grief & Loss Team 💚🙏🤗
Hi, Nicole, there is power in this AARP Grief Forum, and I am happy that you have taken the lead to encourage others to help others. I have found that gratitude and self-less behavior has helped me to heal and not immerse myself in self-pity. We are the village/community with broader reach and potential beyond our own suffering. Love, Sue
Hi, everyone, I am recently seeing that a number of my friends and acquaintances are getting sick or in accidents. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we are all still very fragile and vulnerable. Anxiety could be high as well leading to health matters. I have found that many of these people are alone, and no one seems to be reaching out to them to find out how they are. doing. Lately I have been making short but frequent phone calls to them, just to let them know I care. Depending on the situation, I may not go into how they are feeling. I just say I have been thinking of you. That has meant a lot to them and hopefully given them some comfort in their time of need. Unfortunately for them, they don't belong to the AARP Grief Forum, so they are on their own. Not good and we probably know who they are. Please set aside some quality time with them. They will appreciate it. Have a good day. Sue
My friends and family keep in close touch with text and phone calls. I'm always happy to hear their news, good and otherwise. I think we forget that they look forward to keeping in touch with us, a trusted familiar source of hope and encouragement.
Also vanilla ice cream is my favorite. It makes me feel better. And is easy to eat. Along with caramels covered in chocolate. Cookies and cake not so much. Mac n cheese is good. Meat is too much. Wait a minute, isn't the above my usual daily diet? Lol Why not, you only live once. Most importantly I just get going with the day no matter how I feel. Well, some days don't quite make it. But that's the way it goes.
I was depressed long before John died.
I had just never addressed it. After he died, I went to pieces. I was crying everywhere I went. Even to my Dr. Who finally put me on an antidepressant. I didn’t really want it and have found out it’s not a cure all but I’m better on it then off of it. And that I was told by my two sons.I have a few close friends I can vent to anytime I need to and am very close to my brother, who texts me everyday to see how I am. I try to surround myself with positive people. Negativity just makes me feel worse. And music is a major help to me as well.
And of course there’s always chocolate
Hey Nicole, I sure wish I had a magic wand or a prophetic response. For me so far, I look to refocus on something else. I may go for a walk, watch a TV show, heck I've even gone to the mall so shop. I find that getting out around people even strangers can help lift my spirits. For me, I realize that not changing my setting really helped out. Depression will be there for us and having a few tools in your tool bag can help.
Grief is just a crappy part of our lives and there no way around it. Depression rides along too. I've called my sister and brother once in a while too.
I guess, I'd just suggest get up and get out and leave it behind for a bit.
I'm working on a welcome speech (short as it can be) for my wife's memorial in a couple weeks. Its no fun, but we all want our spouses to be proud of us. She'll hear it and smile..
Bill I hope you and your adult kids have a nice memorial. We had one by the water with lots of flowers strewn. I realized how my kids and their spouses and my grandchildren needed a structured focus for the event. Maybe because it was outside. Their Dad was a Veteran. I played Amazing Grace and Flowers of the Forest by Dark Isle Bagpiper on youtube, and a sacred hymn. I started with having the youngest grandchild putting her flower in the water. And so on to the oldest one. Then my youngest adult child and spouse up to the oldest one and his spouse. The music made a good focus for grieving, and not tacky as I was afraid it could be. I asked my children to instruct the grandchildren that it was a somber occasion and to be respectful at all times. Which of course they did. Their Dad is in the military and they're well acquainted with loss. This particular son read a text from the Navy funeral services. We all struggled with memories of deployments in the family. For me, it was my son's deployments. The visual focus of the flowers floating towards the sanctuary of a cove was beautiful and comforting for all. It was a small cohesive service. I was surprised and honored to receive a flag from a Navy representative. We opted for cremation and small family/friends memorial. I wanted the kids to remember their Dad with respect. He'd been sick for a long time. And not the person he once was. I'm sure he was proud of them all that day as always.
I'm sure it will be fine for your family as well.
Hi, Bill, good hearing from you. I guess we are all struggling with our grief. I like your ideas of getting out, which I have been doing too. I wanted to offer some ideas on your wife's memorial speech. I put a short revelation together right after my husband died and was at a loss on what to say. I kept it short too and incorporated a lot of comments from friends, neighbors and business acquaintances who knew him. It ended up being very genuine and a tribute to him and his longstanding good relations. Also, I strongly believe that all our loved ones are still with us in spirit and smiling down on us. That is why I planted some bushes and perennials that he loved, so I can remember the good times when were together enjoying the garden. Good luck with the memorial services. It will be a blessing and challenge, at least it was for me, but I felt better afterwards. Your friend, Sue
Sue, thanks for the note and I'll certainly use your advice. My kids who have helped me during this time (they wrote their Mom's obit for me) have suggested that we buy potted plants from Lowes and that way folks can take one home to plant if they want. My wife was a lifelong gardener.
I know that my threshold for a welcome speech will be short (can't talk too well when when I start crying) so I'll keep it short.
For me its one of the ongoing tests for this entire challenge. I know I'll feel better afterwards.
Hi, Bill, you have the right approach. I cried through most of my revelations at my husband's funeral. They say that tears represent all the love you feel for you loved one. So please do not feel ashamed about shedding tears. It is natural. Also, I recently read that sometimes those who grieve need to remember that family members are also grieving, only in their own way and time. That is why we need to be gentle with them as well. It is a tough time for all of us. Continue to take care of yourself and your kids. Sue
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