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[Anonymous]

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WE cry, rejoice, talk, share!

Whatever YOU need, WE are here for YOU.

***YOU are a very SPECIAL person and WE want to hear from YOU***

Grief & Loss Team 🤗

[iLuvAutumn]

MC @mc6844 , thank you and I agree my friend!!! Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: Sorry to hear, Nicole. I think the problems bring the grieving out again. We may remember loved ones who helped us with certain things. Maybe a grandmother who prepared good food for us. Or a loved one who could fix cars and washing machines. Especially when they break all at once. But those people aren't there anymore. And we have to trust what we got to work with. Times like this make me feel all at odds. I'm looking for that support that isn't there. Even a partner or spouse that was terminally ill was still a source of emotional support in some way or other. Even if it was in remembrance of what they once were. All the stuff, the decisions can be exhausting. Why do they have to happen all at once. Lol. ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

I am laughing NOW MC @mc6844 as being prediabetic, I had to give up my weekly ice cream and cake.  🙄🙄🙄

It was NOT FUNNY when my doctor told me.

Anyway, I did READ online and TODAY at Kroger I picked up some plain greek yogurt  😭😭😭  and my usual bananas. I figured THIS TIME I will slice up the banana and add to yogurt. Usually I get the FLAVORED yogurt and eat banana separetly.

SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!  💃💃💃

Luv you my friend,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  and  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: Sorry to hear, Nicole. I think the problems bring the grieving out again. We may remember loved ones who helped us with certain things. Maybe a grandmother who prepared good food for us. Or a loved one who could fix cars and washing machines. Especially when they break all at once. But those people aren't there anymore. And we have to trust what we got to work with. Times like this make me feel all at odds. I'm looking for that support that isn't there. Even a partner or spouse that was terminally ill was still a source of emotional support in some way or other. Even if it was in remembrance of what they once were. All the stuff, the decisions can be exhausting. Why do they have to happen all at once. Lol. ***]

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[MarcyW882921]

I love a smoothie that I make with ½ of a frozen banana, frozen strawberries, peaches, or mango, cottage cheese, and almond milk. I throw in a few ice cubes and mix it in a Ninja. It is just like soft serve ice cream for me! 🍦😋

Great for self-care and comfort!

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

 Thank You Marcy.  Went to the store to buy all the ingredients.  Your saying it is just like soft serve ice cream was the trick for me.  I LOVE soft serve ice cream.  😁

[MarcyW882921]

To make it like ice cream, I use half of a frozen banana, ½ cup of frozen fruit, ½ cup of cottage cheese, about five small ice cubes, and a small amount of almond milk (maybe a half cup?). If it is too thick I add a little more milk.

Marcy

[Cadee2719]

  Made it.  Love it.  Thank You

[mc6844]

Sound really good Marcy. Thanks for sharing the recipe. I like mango. My favorite drink is water with lemon and ice cubes and a touch of sugar. Good nutrition is a form of self care. It seems to drain the body when people go through loss.

[iLuvAutumn]

Thanks Marcy @MarcyW882921 , NEVER tried Almond Milk!!!  👍👍👍

I am also looking at Kroger coupons (well, let's say I started to  🙄)  with part 2 scheduled for FRIDAY.

Been LAZY, but time to get SERIOUS about self care.

I HOPE your migraines are either gone or reduced dear friend.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MARCY wrote: I love a smoothie that I make with ½ of a frozen banana, frozen strawberries, peaches, or mango, cottage cheese, and almond milk. I throw in a few ice cubes and mix it in a Ninja. It is just like soft serve ice cream for me! 

Great for self-care and comfort!

Marcy ***]

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[mc6844]

I hope they are too Marcy. That is no fun. Nicole, I've heard  a lot about Kroger I'll have to try it depending on their delivery fee.

[mc6844]

Keep on with the fruit and yogurt. And no, it isn't funny when Drs tell us these things. I give you credit for applying the Mediterranean diet. I look for no sugar ice cream. Don't know if that's allowed. 

[iLuvAutumn]

Thanks MC @mc6844 . I am sure the NO SUGAR ice cream (VERY EXPENSIVE) would be allowed but I have ONLY Social Security coming in. Been homeless back in 2017 at age 59 when my job hours got cut while other businesses closed here in Virginia. After that 13 months of staying at a Rescue Mission and saving $5,000.00 to buy my 2006 Hyundai Elantra for $2,500.00, moving into this Studio Apt in 2018 - NOW at age 66 in 2024, so NEVER want to repeat that. So I have a want and need list. Lol, the want list no longer exists as my rent goes up EVERY year. GRATEFUL the other old lady (the car  🙄)  is still running.  💃💃💃

Sad that JUNK is cheaper than HEALTHY.

My Medicare doctor is the one who suggested the diet.

Going to Walmart TODAY and will see WHAT options they have. Kroger YESTERDAY was my Cash In my $1/$2 lottery scratch-off tickets. Spend $6 each MONDAY. Gets me out of my apt and I get to see my pal David (fellow old person) at their Customer Service counter. They have MORE to offer but their PRICES!!!  😱😱😱

So I normally DO NOT shop there.

Luv you my friend,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: Keep on with the fruit and yogurt. And no, it isn't funny when Drs tell us these things. I give you credit for applying the Mediterranean diet. I look for no sugar ice cream. Don't know if that's allowed. ***]

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[mc6844]

Nicole, you're absolutely right. Food costs rising and inflation is a worry these days. I like olives but they're getting too expensive too. I noticed stores are selling chunks of chicken etc. people are making more casseroles.

I'm sorry for your troubles in the past. That must have been a very painful time. Except you didn't let it ruin your outlook and hope, and what you need to do to stay healthy. And your love for your daughter, who I'm sure is very happy you are still here. We're all happy you're here. Thank you Nicole. 💕

[iLuvAutumn]

Lol, MC @mc6844 - don't forget the OTHER family member - Mr.  🐈.

You are such a BLESSING dear friend!!!

Walmart on Tuesday was a MAJOR DISAPPOINTMENT for HEALTHY options, but GRATEFUL they carry the cat food HE LIKES.  🙄🙄🙄  Told him he NEEDS A JOB.

I hope you are well!!!

Luv you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MC wrote: Nicole, you're absolutely right. Food costs rising and inflation is a worry these days. I like olives but they're getting too expensive too. I noticed stores are selling chunks of chicken etc. people are making more casseroles.

I'm sorry for your troubles in the past. That must have been a very painful time. Except you didn't let it ruin your outlook and hope, and what you need to do to stay healthy. And your love for your daughter, who I'm sure is very happy you are still here. We're all happy you're here. Thank you Nicole. 💕  ***]

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[mc6844]

Lol. He is lucky to have you. I love pets. But can't presently care for them. When I find a dog that lets itself in and out of the house, gets supper itself, does dishes, I'll think about it. Lol

[iLuvAutumn]

READY TO MOVE FORWARD ON YOUR HEALING JOURNEY?  🤔

Follow YOUR purpose.

Griffin recommends thinking of three things you enjoy doing the most — cooking, gardening, reading stories, sports, whatever.

Or make a list of the things you have always wanted to learn more about. Then poke around to find a free class online or at a local community college or university. You will learn a new skill and meet people interested in the same subjects.

▶️***[Link to AARP article below]***◀️

https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2022/dealing-with-loneliness.html

[mc6844]

Great ideas Nicole. I took free computer classes at the local high school some years ago. I was grateful to learn new skills. I knew a girl who took woodworking and built a lovely dresser. You can learn skills and if course meet new people. The other people there need people there, or there wouldn't be classes. Plus taking a course in a familiar field of study, or a new one, can help people move forward too.

[iLuvAutumn]

I have found that TALKING with OTHER grievers has helped me not to feel so alone.

While we will still have OUR MOMENTS of anger, sadness and so on - LEARNING from others how they have been able to MOVE FORWARD helps us on our journeys.

So stop by and SHARE your SURVIVAL TIPS, you may be helping someone who just lost a luv one.

Thank you,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[mc6844]

Very true Nicole. This is why I've favored the Grief and Loss Forum. The topics are focused on loss and grief. So a person naturally focuses on this topic when they stop in. And they can stop in any time they want am or pm. This is good for the grieving. Who may find it hard to commit to a specific date or time or session. Plus in grieving events or things like car repairs or mechanical usually handled by the deceased can set the grieving process back, or all over again. Although unexpected, it's just another layer of grief. That's why the saying  "don't go to the empty well for water" is worthy of note. It's important to pay attention to grief, and go to pertinent and necessary resources for relief and healing. It takes effort. It's tiring. But being in a state of emotional upset isn't good for surviving and eventually thriving in this process. Thank you for bringing the topic up. Today is my day for catching up with the forum. 

[mc6844]

I think that's very helpful too, Nicole. So many things we never think of ourselves. Having a new source of learning is a great comfort when the grieving hits. 

[MarcyW882921]

I spoke with a woman whose husband passed away recently. She said seeing all of the women in our group who have experienced this kind of loss and survived and even thrived is inspirational for her. If you have gotten through this trauma, you may be serving as an example for others without even knowing it!

Marcy

[iLuvAutumn]

I agree Marcy @MarcyW882921 and know that YOU have INSPIRED me to GET BUSY.

Lol, nope, NO Zumba or tennis  😂🤣  but things I USE TO ENJOY!!!  👍👍👍

Now to get busy EACH DAY like you my friend.

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** MARCY wrote: I spoke with a woman whose husband passed away recently. She said seeing all of the women in our group who have experienced this kind of loss and survived and even thrived is inspirational for her. If you have gotten through this trauma, you may be serving as an example for others without even knowing it! Marcy ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

DISCUSSION: What is your opinion on Grief Counseling?  🤔

Personally it does NOT work for me as I already know what I need to do. Over the years I have had counseling and in my humble opinion counseling is NOT for everyone. But glad that option is there for folks who feel they need it. Also, I am a huge fan of reading Success Stories and Self Help books over the years. These INSPIRE me!!!

I hope to hear from you.

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[MarcyW882921]

I did not seek individual counseling but did join a bereavement group. I am not a group person, but I went into the group with an open mind based on a recommendation from a friend. The facilitator and people in the group were so warm, understanding, and compassionate and I felt safe on day 1. We are all individuals and make decisions about what is best for us. This avenue was a positive experience for me.

Marcy

[iLuvAutumn]

DISCUSSION: Luv Ones Helping Us.

Hello Everyone!!!

As I lay here being LAZY  🙄🙄🙄  before getting up to get dressed to head up to Dollar Tree - I am SO GRATEFUL my luv ones got my back.

HOW ABOUT YOU???  🤔

Must recent gratitude for me may be unimportant for others but I was having a SENIOR MELTDOWN MOMENT in Walmart.

Why?

Never fails, they like to MOVE stuff just when I have my Shopping List all setup with WHICH aisle to find stuff. Yes, have ALWAYS hated shopping and more so at age 66. Go ONLY when I NEED to.

Anyway, I have learn't to have a BACK UP to everything as you know these days one NEVER knows IF an item will be in stock in store or online.

For weeks yours truly has been checking the USUAL spot for the portable Gorilla Tape. Nope, none.

Then THIS Tuesday, my usual day to go to Walmart (out of food day) as I was WALKING BY the craft section after getting Mr's cat food, headed once AGAIN to go see IF tape was there - something made me glance over.

Now keep in mind I NEVER frequent the craft aisle, so had NO reason to glance over there.

Guess what is NOW there INSTEAD of the usual spot.

YES, THE TAPE!!!  💃💃💃

I believe a luved one, not sure who - helped me out BEFORE the tape I had was finished.

Hmmm, I would luv to hear from YOU.

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Nicole, I think that's entirely possible. They say our loved ones walk beside us always. And of course the old saying of Faith, the evidence of things unseen. 

[jimbohretired]

 Finally am starting to post again. Lost my wife 3 years ago this Christmas but even with that I still feel blessed. She was my life for 53 years - met for the first time in 2nd grade - grew up with her as a friend iI went into the US Army after one year of college while she finished her degree in nursing. I started writing to her about a year before I was discharged and we then spent our lives together when I was discharged. Anyhow I am now functioning very well. Still have no desire to date but have made some good friends and have both a daughter and a son living close by. I talk  with my son almost daily 

Anyhow  I have discovered that for me that staying active is a blessing. I bike 21 miles a day first hour with a couple and the second hour am talking with my son. I also do circuit training 3 days a week.I have joined a few clubs which allows me to interact and not feel so alone. 

Life goes on .

Most current items happening for me is marriage of my oldest granddaughter and death of my oldest brother - He made it to 90 years of age. Another thing that helps is to go back and  think of all the blessings that the Lord has given me over the years. My daughter gave me a wonderful gift this last christmas. The way it works is one is given a series of questions that you answer and which end up in a book. The exercise  reminded  me of all of the blessings and also of the challenges we faced and dealt with over the years. As I said above Life goes on.

[MarcyW882921]

Jimbo @jimboretired ,

It's great that you have come back to post on the forum. Glad that you are feeling blessed and thanks for your positive update.

Marcy

[iLuvAutumn]

Hi Jim @jimbohretired , your post before THIS ONE (from last year 2023) mentioned going on a cruise with friends. Did you go?  🤔  IF YES, how was it? 🤔  WELCOME BACK!!!  💃💃💃

Thanks,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗

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[*** JIM wrote: Finally am starting to post again. Lost my wife 3 years ago this Christmas but even with that I still feel blessed. She was my life for 53 years - met for the first time in 2nd grade - grew up with her as a friend iI went into the US Army after one year of college while she finished her degree in nursing. I started writing to her about a year before I was discharged and we then spent our lives together when I was discharged. Anyhow I am now functioning very well. Still have no desire to date but have made some good friends and have both a daughter and a son living close by. I talk  with my son almost daily 

Anyhow  I have discovered that for me that staying active is a blessing. I bike 21 miles a day first hour with a couple and the second hour am talking with my son. I also do circuit training 3 days a week.I have joined a few clubs which allows me to interact and not feel so alone. 

Life goes on .

Most current items happening for me is marriage of my oldest granddaughter and death of my oldest brother - He made it to 90 years of age. Another thing that helps is to go back and  think of all the blessings that the Lord has given me over the years. My daughter gave me a wonderful gift this last christmas. The way it works is one is given a series of questions that you answer and which end up in a book. The exercise  reminded  me of all of the blessings and also of the challenges we faced and dealt with over the years. As I said above Life goes on.  ***]

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[iLuvAutumn]

♻️  (3 comments) 📸  DISCUSSION Attachment  📸

[mc6844]

I hear ya Nicole. Except after dentist I have all I can do to drive straight home. It's good to do something positive however. Dollar store has good greeting cards. I think I'm one of the last few who still send by snail mail. I suppose that will be extinct pretty soon kind of like myself lol