WE ARE SORRY for your loss 💛

[Winter2025VA]

THIS GROUP IS OPEN TO ALL GRIEVERS NO MATTER HOW LONG IT HAS BEEN [years,days].

To participate, click on reply button at bottom of this post. Enter your comment. Click on reply again.

Grief Team  🤗

[SereneSeagull]

They so do, no matter how old they get, I agree. I have a friend who gives of herself for her kids, even though they are older now.  She keeps putting off her doctors’s appointments, and several of us at the gym have been encouraging her to take care (edited cuz I forgot a word here), of herself as well.  

I think our children will always be our main worry, no matter what.  So true

[Winter2025VA]

.

[SereneSeagull]

You said” 

🤐   I believe IF we get "quiet & relaxed" WE WILL FEEL the presence of the folks we lost.  ‌‌‌

But you have to BELIEVE this will happen for it to happen

*** Stop by when you can [feel up to it] to TELL us about your QUIET TIMES. **

——-  —-

That’s interesting you say this, I know people who didn’t Believe that they’d feel their loved one’s presence, and they experienced it.  So personally I don’t think one Needs to believe it, for it to happen.  

 A loved one’s presence can happen when it’s not forced as well. 

    You walk outside and a butterfly flits and flutters around and by you, you look at the clock while thinking of your loved ones, and 11:11 shows on the clock, a meaning familiar to your family, a cardinal appears on a branch, a dragonfly, a smell or song, heart shaped rock or shell along your path, so many things are their presence. It does happen.

Warm thoughts to all that have lost a loved one.

 They are with you.  The holidays can be hard.

[s988200m]

I am sorry for your loss

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear Sherry @s988200m , thank you SO MUCH for stopping by!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** SHERRY 

---

@s988200m wrote:

I am sorry for your loss

---

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Michelle @MichelleC103656 , I am heading offline but "available" IF you need me dear friend.

Luv to those darling furbabies of yours from Mister  🐈🐈🐈🐈

Nicole 💛 

[MichelleC103656]

Thank you, Nicole. We are just trying to get through each day. I appreciate your kind words. Luv to you and Mister.💌🐈

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  TODAY is "your" day and you are in my thoughts dear friend!!!

MICHELLE @MichelleC103656 

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

[MichelleC103656]

Hey Nicole!  It's been a while. I hope that you and Mister have been doing well. September was so wonderful. Then, October brought my husband Jim and me so much grief. My Mom had a stroke. She went into a  coma on a Saturday night and passed away the following Monday. We were trying to come to grips with her loss, when 2 weeks later Jim found that his mother had passed away. We were staying at her house. We said our goodnights. She was fine. The next morning, Jim went to check on her,and she was gone. He came and told me. I didn't understand at first. We called his sister and everyone. When an autopsy was done, they said that she had suffered a heart attack. She had just been to her doctor and been given a clean bill of health. So, things have not been so great. We are in shock. We can't believe everything that has happened. We start crying some days and can't stop. I know that we were so lucky to have them in our lives for so long, but it just hurts so much💔. My Mom was 86. Jim's mother was 92. Okay, I am going to try and get a little sleep😴. I look forward to hearing from you, Nicole. Your friend, Michelle👩‍🏫, and Hi from the furbabies.😺🐱😸

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Oh NO Michelle @MichelleC103656 !!! I am SO SORRY.  😥

That is TOO MUCH loss dear friend.

Mister is being himself and has been a GRATEFUL "escape" from missing my daughter. It was SO NICE seeing her and getting hugs.

Lol, well - the OTHER old lady (2006 Hyundai Elantra's) Check Engine Light came on Oct 27th. Was heading for my "usual" Grocery Run at Walmart. She needs a Head Gasket $3,000-$3,500. Anyway, my mechanic called me this Monday and we agreed to find a LOW MILEAGE engine (she is up to 185,000). Fingers - eyes - toes "crossed" I am back on the road soon. It has been a challenge with the Ubers my daughter sends for me. Geez, some VERY RUDE drivers.  🙄

Mister sends his luv to you know who 🐈🐈🐈🐈. Our furbabies ADD so much to OUR LIVES!!!

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** MICHELLE 

---

@MichelleC103656 wrote:

Hey Nicole!  It's been a while. I hope that you and Mister have been doing well. September was so wonderful. Then, October brought my husband Jim and me so much grief. My Mom had a stroke. She went into a  coma on a Saturday night and passed away the following Monday. We were trying to come to grips with her loss, when 2 weeks later Jim found that his mother had passed away. We were staying at her house. We said our goodnights. She was fine. The next morning, Jim went to check on her,and she was gone. He came and told me. I didn't understand at first. We called his sister and everyone. When an autopsy was done, they said that she had suffered a heart attack. She had just been to her doctor and been given a clean bill of health. So, things have not been so great. We are in shock. We can't believe everything that has happened. We start crying some days and can't stop. I know that we were so lucky to have them in our lives for so long, but it just hurts so much💔. My Mom was 86. Jim's mother was 92. Okay, I am going to try and get a little sleep😴. I look forward to hearing from you, Nicole. Your friend, Michelle👩‍🏫, and Hi from the furbabies.😺🐱😸

---

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌🕯  Just For Today - Take a walk or drive somewhere beautiful. BOTH will remind YOU of nature & how nature SURVIVES no matter what. Wildlife ALSO lose luv ones but somehow NEVER give up. Hey, WE CAN DO THE SAME my friend(s)!!! You got this.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[jbar4650]

No I don't have this.  I am losing it every day.

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Dear @jbar4650 , welcome!!!

Are you able to get outside where you are? Even just looking up at the sky from a window helps me. What the GOAL is = to "escape" from OUR "surroundings" for whatever TIME we need to "relax".

There is NO "easy" fix for our GRIEF.

But while we PICK UP the pieces, we need ways to keep us BALANCED.

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

---

@jbar4650 wrote:

No I don't have this.  I am losing it every day.

---

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌🕯   WE will always miss them but as WE MOVE FORWARD there will be less tears and more smiles when WE think of them.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)‌‌‌‌‌‌

[jbar4650]

It has been 3 months since losing my daughter and there are more tears than ever.

[SereneSeagull]

Ok, so I see we are allowed to reply to people here,  it sounded like yesterday I was under the impression we could not.

Jbar, I’m so sorry for your loss. I have a family member who lost a child in an accident.  There is no grief as hard as this from everything they’ve told me.  They have found grief support groups in their area for those who have lost a child, be it older child, or young, that meet up.  It has given her tremendous support, because everyone there has that loss of their precious child and can feel your pain Morso than anyone.

I hope you can get that as well.  Big hug to you.  I’m so sorry for your loss.

[Winter2025VA]

🕯@jbar4650 , I am so sorry about your loss dear friend!!!

I still "cry" even though my loss has been awhile ago.

I am ALWAYS here if you want to chat.

Luv,

Nicole  🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

---

@jbar4650 wrote:

It has been 3 months since losing my daughter and there are more tears than ever.

---

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🕯  Stop by to SHARE YOUR JOURNEY.

I will ALWAYS leave a comment in response to YOUR POST.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Sharing "may" HELP with our healing and "may" also HELP another griever who stops by = members supporting members.

*** They will KNOW there are OTHERS out there and "may" find YOUR solutions to YOUR grief works for them. Thank you for CARING about others.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

Luv,

Nicole ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌ (Grief Forum)

[sandyslaga]

I'm new to this group. My husband of 45 years died June 3, 2024, from Alzheimer's.  He'd just retired in January 2021.  He was diagnosed later that year. I kept him home and was his caregiver.  

I am finding this second year much harder.  The first year was numbing with all that needed to get done and just getting out of bed on most days.  Now I find that the reality and enormity of losing him is sinking into the core of my being.  I'm in therapy, which has helped largely because it's a safe space in which I can share the same stories ad nauseam.  I've had the same therapist for years, and hubbie and I attended together from time to time.  That she knew him is comforting, especially when she shares her memories of him.

Hubbie and I had a wonderful marriage and were homebodies these many years.  I have a son who lives with me, a married daughter, and 3-year-old granddaughter in town.  I also have a best friend whom I've known since college and who lives about 5 hours away.  She and her husband have been here in my darkest hours during his illness and since.  

I don't know who I am without my husband.  Worse, I have no desire or motivation to find out.  I know two things for sure:  the cavalry isn't coming; and, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.  

M heart is with each of you here.  We can do this.  

Peace,

[JamesK492722]

I share a similar story.  My wife of 42 years died during March 2024 and I was surprised by the difficulties faced in the second year after her passing.  My wife's illness lasted four years but I never accepted that she would pass away.  During grief group discussions, I learned that an unexpected or a slow death of a loved one is traumatic.

Most if not all of my friends believe enough time has passed that I should no longer be grieving the loss of my wife.  They think I should just let go and move on.  Easier said than done.  Her death left a large hole in my life and heart.  Further, I have yet to learn of a process that puts my life back together. Time has not healed all wounds.

I worry that I have a touch of depression and sometimes have not been able to be productive.  Occasionally, I will go for several days without getting much accomplished.  I have found that the mantra "do the next thing" and a simple to complete list of projects that "need doing" helps me become active again.   

The one thing I have been able to keep up is going the YMCA for swims.  I do not want a preventable health issue to be added to this grief.  

I hope you find peace about the loss of your husband.  I know it is hard, and I do not know of a solution for the pain. But knowing that others are suffering from a loss may help.  

[sandyslaga]

James, thank you for your post and sharing your story.  

To those who think we should no longer be grieving the loss of our spouse and that we should "... just let go and move on", I say walk one day in my shoes.  How dare they judge something they've not experienced.  They're unable to deal with their own discomfort and thus want us to move on, not for our sake, but their own.

Time does not heal all wounds. Grief is not linear.  I will never get over the illness and death of my husband.  I am trying to learn to live with it.  It absolutely helps to know that I do not walk this path alone.

Give yourself grace, James. Walking alongside you.

[SereneSeagull]

I agree Sandy,  learning to live with it.  That’s the hard part I’m finding.  Everything is so different and changed.

My mind tends to linger on the moments before my parents died,  their struggles in the hospital to breathe or be in pain.  I try and shift my thoughts to the happy moments we’ve all shared, but they keep going back to those hospital pain and suffering.  It’s been many, many years for one and not that long ago on the other, with others passing along the way between

How do you stop those thoughts is what I’m struggling with, specifically during the holidays.  

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Sandy @sandyslaga , thanks for your post. Your sentence about learning to live with it really touched my insides dear friend. You are one STRONG lady!!!

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** SANDY 

---

@sandyslaga wrote:

James, thank you for your post and sharing your story.  

To those who think we should no longer be grieving the loss of our spouse and that we should "... just let go and move on", I say walk one day in my shoes.  How dare they judge something they've not experienced.  They're unable to deal with their own discomfort and thus want us to move on, not for our sake, but their own.

Time does not heal all wounds. Grief is not linear.  I will never get over the illness and death of my husband.  I am trying to learn to live with it.  It absolutely helps to know that I do not walk this path alone.

Give yourself grace, James. Walking alongside you.

---

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Welcome James @JamesK492722 !!!

In my humble opinion we will ALWAYS miss our OTHER half dear friend.

CONGRATS on finding a way to MOVE FORWARD.

Yes, at age 67, like you - I DONOT want to "ignore" taking care of my health. NO matter how I feel, I get in a DAILY walk inside my Studio Apt. Minimum is half an hour but there are days I do an hour.

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** JAMES 

---

@JamesK492722 wrote:

I share a similar story.  My wife of 42 years died during March 2024 and I was surprised by the difficulties faced in the second year after her passing.  My wife's illness lasted four years but I never accepted that she would pass away.  During grief group discussions, I learned that an unexpected or a slow death of a loved one is traumatic.

Most if not all of my friends believe enough time has passed that I should no longer be grieving the loss of my wife.  They think I should just let go and move on.  Easier said than done.  Her death left a large hole in my life and heart.  Further, I have yet to learn of a process that puts my life back together. Time has not healed all wounds.

I worry that I have a touch of depression and sometimes have not been able to be productive.  Occasionally, I will go for several days without getting much accomplished.  I have found that the mantra "do the next thing" and a simple to complete list of projects that "need doing" helps me become active again.   

The one thing I have been able to keep up is going the YMCA for swims.  I do not want a preventable health issue to be added to this grief.  

I hope you find peace about the loss of your husband.  I know it is hard, and I do not know of a solution for the pain. But knowing that others are suffering from a loss may help.  

---

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  Welcome Sandy @sandyslaga !!!

I am so sorry for your loss dear friend.

I just finished up 4 months of Individual Counseling July to October 2025.

I was fine until my health (possible cancer) & car (needs a Head gasket) decided to TEST me.

My Counselor LISTENED while I cried, got angry and wanting to crawl into a hole somewhere.

What keeps me going is the fact that I am the ONLY parent my only child has. My precious princess.

Yes dear friend, one step at a time.

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** SANDY 

---

@sandyslaga wrote:

I'm new to this group. My husband of 45 years died June 3, 2024, from Alzheimer's.  He'd just retired in January 2021.  He was diagnosed later that year. I kept him home and was his caregiver.  

I am finding this second year much harder.  The first year was numbing with all that needed to get done and just getting out of bed on most days.  Now I find that the reality and enormity of losing him is sinking into the core of my being.  I'm in therapy, which has helped largely because it's a safe space in which I can share the same stories ad nauseam.  I've had the same therapist for years, and hubbie and I attended together from time to time.  That she knew him is comforting, especially when she shares her memories of him.

Hubbie and I had a wonderful marriage and were homebodies these many years.  I have a son who lives with me, a married daughter, and 3-year-old granddaughter in town.  I also have a best friend whom I've known since college and who lives about 5 hours away.  She and her husband have been here in my darkest hours during his illness and since.  

I don't know who I am without my husband.  Worse, I have no desire or motivation to find out.  I know two things for sure:  the cavalry isn't coming; and, you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.  

M heart is with each of you here.  We can do this.  

Peace,

---

[Winter2025VA]

‌‌‌🕯  NEVER GIVE UP!!!

It may NOT feel like it right NOW, but believe me when I say SOON you will look back on your CHALLENGING day/night & feel totally PROUD you NEVER GAVE UP!!!

What does not kill us will make us stronger.  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌

What are you dealing with RIGHT NOW?

Luv,

Nicole  ‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌🤗‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌‌  (Grief Forum)

[mc6844]

Nicole, thank you for all your encouragement to those on the forum. Sometimes we forget what is bothering us until we stop in here. 

[Winter2025VA]

🕯  MC @mc6844 , you just made my day EXTRA SPECIAL my friend.

Luv,

Nicole. 🤗🤗🤗  (Grief Forum)

➡️[*** 

---

@mc6844 wrote:

Nicole, thank you for all your encouragement to those on the forum. Sometimes we forget what is bothering us until we stop in here. 

---

[LaurelH1933]

My husband died 3 years ago & I still need support around the holiday season & the anniversary of his death.

[SereneSeagull]

Laurel, I hope you had that support.  I came to the boards last night here, but wasn’t sure if I could post at first, but now see others posts on this thread the further down I go.  

The holidays are always a very hard time for me as I know others as well have that same feeling.  Keeping myself engrossed in my interests, but yesterday at Thanksgiving was hard with a family member in the hospital, and just us left to do pizza at the house.  Very hard night strugglg thinking about ALL of the family that is gone.