I’m so sorry for your loss. In other times, people would have come back to comfort you. With travel restricted, wakes not happening, funerals very restricted, it is hard to find any closure. My family custom is to have a funeral and a wake, then a dinner where people enjoy each other’s company, share stories, plan to visit and support each other. That didn’t happen in COVID-19. Losing your husband, then not being able to carry out customs is like a double whammy. But those days will slowly go away, and you’ll be able to share those times with others.
Find some comfort in sharing online or phone visits, donate something to someone in need, reach out to an elderly person in your neighborhood. The days will get better. Peace,