Looking After Your Own Health

[mc6844]

Just a reminder to keep up with your health. Has dental appts been put on the back burner? Health checks etc? I could do a better job of that. But I try to keep up. Mostly to prevent future problems. Life is hard enough, right? 

[iLuvNature]

Dear MC @mc6844 , great topic! 👍 So how are you with keeping up on your appointments? 🤔 I was lucky to get a dental cleaning this month.

Nicole 🤗🤗🤗

[mc6844]

Hi Nicole! Glad you got to dentist. Trying to keep up with basic care. Thanks!

[jonibee]

One easy thing is to stay hydrated as this can lead to dehydration and that in itself can start the ball rolling to things that can happen. Watch out for falling remove obstacles that can make this happen..Eat healthy and try to get some exercise no matter how little it may be...Keep active be it reading, playing games on computer, walking around your area, start a new hobby ...keep those appts and if you haven't made them make them and take care of yourself....

[mc6844]

Good reminders Joni!

[KellytheBelly]

.

[mc6844]

Kelly, good points!

[BillH490171]

Great tips and also eat more vegetables and salads. I also realized that my approach to certain activities have to be reassessed such as getting up on a ladder or using a chainsaw now that I'm the only one here in case or an accident..

Bill

[mc6844]

Bill, not a good time to use a chainsaw. lol

[JennD183370]

I just got back from finally seeing a dentist after four years! We moved to a beautiful small island in British Columbia but the isolation and my husband’s health problems keep his care at the top of the list for time and travel. Minimum cost to take care of everything is over seven thousand dollars and will take months. Landed in hospital myself not long ago for an untreated kidney infection and received quite a lecture on neglecting myself. Still, there are only so many hours in a day and just one pair of hands. I am my husband’s only caregiver. He has COPD in its late stages and heart failure plus cancer.  Sometimes I just do it know how to fit in anything for myself!

[SueS788527]

Hi, Jenn, I feel your pain and as a former caregiver can relate to your challenges.  Normally, the caregiver's mental and physical health unfortunately become a low or no priority.  In hindsight, I should have explored more support options. This may be difficult given your location.  However, there should be a local church, medical facility or volunteer group that could step up to help you if you ask.  Be specific of your needs if you can get support.  Not sure of your financial situation, but you may want to see what caregiving services are available for an affordable price.  Your mental and physical are worth it.  Setting up a network of trusted friends and professionals now will help you during the last days and aftermath, when the attention shifts to you and your wellbeing. Be persistent and hopeful that you can find much needed support.  Don't be afraid to ask.  Good luck, Sue

[BeatleloverKT]

@JennD183370 God bless you for all 

you do. My Dad has awful COPD. It is 

a terrible thing to have to live with. It is

hard to fit ourselves in but you are trying.

We do what we must. Take care 💜

[JennD183370]

Thank you so much for your kind words. It is a very devastating disease and my heart breaks for him every day. Just wish there was a cure! 

[mc6844]

I can well identify with your challenges. Taking care of a heart failure and COPD patient is a task for sure. The treatments are complicated and lead to added complications. I'm sure your husband realizes he's fortunate to have you as his caregiver. Dental is expensive everywhere. Exploring additional types of insurance might help. Keeping up with basic care and cleanings is a start. And what work is necessary and what isn't. I'd say mostly it's getting past the fatigue to even make and keep appointments. One foot in front of the other, works. I sympathize with all you're going through. Exploring options can make you feel better. Sometimes I need to cancel and reschedule for things, but usually get there. You're worth taking care of! The people in this group have been where you are. And can help support you through it. You're doing well reaching out.

[JennD183370]

Thank you for all the support! It is so good to be around people that understand. I often have to explain over and over the limitations of COPD and heart failure to everyone over and over. It makes it hard to plan at times and I have had to cancel and reschedule things many times. Sometimes I just wish there were two of me!

[SueS788527]

Hi, Jenn, that is the value of the AARP Grief Forum, that you don't have to explain. In many ways we have gone through similar heartbreaking situations. I wish the alternative radioactive bead treatment would have extended my husband's life, like the "experts" said.  It was not to be and the fact that he became fully paralyzed in the last weeks was traumatic for him and me.  All I can say is to be there for him, like you are.  You are making a difference in his last days and even if he doesn't say it, he knows that you are there for him and that you love him.  You have done everything you can and realized that you could not done any more.  Finding some peace during the ending days is priceless if you can find it.  My prayers are with you, Sue.

[mc6844]

Aww...that is traumatic. You must be still suffering from those last weeks with your husband. I'm sure he was so grateful and happy you were with him! 

[BillH490171]

Sue, I had a similar experience with my wife as she was in tremendous pain her last two months and decided that she wanted to be home in hospice care.  I became the caregiver. She trusted me completely and I was the best caregiver I could be.   It was a honor to care for her during those last 10 days.  Hardest thing I ever did but completely rewarding for us both.  

Bill

[SueS788527]

Thanks, Bill, for sharing your experience.  I agree that caregiving makes all the difference for your loved on and for you as well.  However, there is trauma associated with being the sole caregiver and I'm glad that you are now reorienting yourself to your own wellbeing.  Please make sure you have the support you need.  You should not go through the grievance journey alone. Sue

[BillH490171]

Good reminder for sure. I know in my area appointments can be tough to get. My eye doc closed shop and when I started working on getting into see another one, it took a couple months. We used to tag team health checkups so that we'd remember.  I'm using a wall calendar now more than ever before.  

I do have one question for everyone, when did you remove your spouse off of your bank accounts?  It's the last step for me and kind of a tough one. I'm tired of telling folks that she passed and that why I changing this or that.  I'll probably wait a few more months.

Bill

[mc6844]

I suppose changes can be made when you feel it's necessary. Whether an emotional or financial need. Banks require a death certificate with a seal. There's a lot to do. I have to sell or donate an old car. Moving on isn't easy. I think everyone on this site feels the same. Doing something before you're ready isn't a good move either. Take care!

[BeatleloverKT]

The bank was one of the first places I notified

of his death. I needed checks anyway so I had

to go. The Bank left his name on the accounts

for awhile. About two years ago, I took that

final step to remove his name from the

accounts. For me, that was about 3 years

after he passed

[BillH490171]

Thanks for the quick response and it has eased my mind. 

[SueS788527]

Hi, Bill, good question on when to remove your spouse off your bank accounts.  It depends if you mean notifying the bank that your wife died or taking her off the checks.  I notified my bank right away when my husband died by going to the local branch and bringing his death certificate.  It was necessary to do that for various reasons.  If you mean taking her name off the checks and statements that can wait but make sure your bank knows of her passing. In most case the financial institutions have an Estate Department that might contact you if the local branch does not. That happened to me. So be patient.

On your doctors' appointments, I am sorry about your experiences in getting appointments.  That is unfortunate and perhaps there is an interim solution like Telehealth appointments.  I would explore other options for your own well-being. Good luck.

[SueS788527]

Hi, mc6844, I totally agree with you, that it is essential that we be mindful of our physical, mental and in my case spiritual health.  Having said that, it is not always easy to stay on schedule, but what seems to work for me is a routine of some sort earlier in the day.  I seem to have more energy and not as distracted.  Also as part of mental well being, I try to be grateful of all the wonderful things around me, like nature, flowers, sunrise, etc.  Little times of mindful thinking keeps me grounded in the present.  As long as we want to do this and take the time each day, even for an hour or less, I think it helps.  Have a good day, Sue

[mc6844]

Thank you Sue for your thoughtful sharing. I admire your outlook!

[mc6844]

Just want to add that a well known Pastor recently passed on. An interviewer asked his wife how she was doing. She said, "my husband's light has gone out. Mine is still shining."