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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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Your story and mine are so similar. I especially  don’t like to eat dinner alone. I have women friends and I do my best filling my days. I’d love to have a male friend not necessarily a lover but most I know are married, have medical problems or are looking for the 50 year old to boost their ego. I think I have a lot to offer and I’m not going to be a nurse or a purse for any man. Just a good male friend is all I want. I think. 

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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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I understand how living with one person for so long connects us to them on so many different levels.  There will never be another husband like the one you had.  However, the emptiness that is being felt can be filled in so many other ways without requiring it to come from another person. Consider how long your relationship was and many years it took to reach the level that it did.  Those would be very difficult shoes to fill for any man.  As a woman, I suggest that you find your personal passion.  Find what make you feel fufilled and complete, in a new way.  Loving yourself always comes before we love other or others can love us.  Find that love again within yourself first and it will come.  You have everything that you need already, you need only to look inside.  Read Dr. Eric Pearl's The Reconnection.  Take up Yoga, Pilates, Waterskiing, or find or hire a work out partner. Take belly dancing classes, or travel.  List all of the things that you want to do in your life and start doing them.  Gal pals, friends are still very important. Grief Groups are also a great way to deal with the loss of someone, even after 5 years.... wishing you well. 

Alexandria A
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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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Oh thank you for putting my feelings into words.  It has been three years for me.  August 15, 2015.  I have few friends left, they have seen me at my best and my worst.  I stayed in the house for quite a long time It is hard at meal times, 37 years came and went with each day a new happiness or joy of just being together.  I remember after the first week of his death I woke up and thought he was still there rolled over to emptiness, knowing it was never going to be the same again.  I thought what will I do now, how can I live without that love?  It was all I knew.  No other men have been in my life.  My Father. but not a lover, or a friend so special.  He knew all of my emotions, he showed me so much we shared so much.  everydasy we left the house, and he would say well which direction today?  I would choose north east south or west and we drove.  We talked.  We laughed.  We reminesced.  talked of the joys of one Granddaughter  and 4 children.  The beauty of whatever we found to see that day.  We shared a cup of coffee at cafe's along the way.  turned around to do it again the next day.  I remember a pond we stopped at I closed my eyes and felt the sunshine and the breeze on my face I closed my eyes and told him when I go I want to feel like this , he agreed.  I hope he went back there  Life is different but I try and find some beauty everyday, just to remind me of what I had.  I wish you peace

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Living life as a widow/ widower

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Alone after 51 years of being a wife to a wonderful man. Years of wonderful memories and then those caregiving years at the end. It’s been 5 years since my husbands death but it seems like yesterday. I miss him. I miss the closeness, the touching, the loving looks, waking up beside him and kissing him goodnight. I miss knowing I was loved and the confidence that comes with that knowledge. I’m adrift. Oh! I look good on the outside. Getting it all done and holding it together. But I’m lonely at times. Women friends are nice but.... I miss male companionship. The fellows I know are either married, have medical problems, or looking for that 55 year old chick to make them feel young. I’d love a male companion. How about you? 

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