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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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Your so very welcome, I just had to share with you what my experience was like.

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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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Thank you for taking the time to respond to my post. I value your suggestions, like to write down the feelings I have, and see how that changes over time. Also, to keep the best memories of my husband and to take time healing. Thank you.
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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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Hello, just be patient and kind with yourself, for now you are in the early stages of grieving process. I  know because when my late husband died on June 1, 2006 at 6:30 pm at home where I took care of him. At first what help me was a good friend who I was able to call her at anytime and I  would write down what I felt but mostly praying and talking to God help me. Then in December of 2007 I travel overseas on a trip with a church member who needed my help since they were in a wheelchair most of the day. Then at times during the year I still miss my late husband Richard but he is not in pain anymore, when I was able I attended a grief group for a little while at first then on his birthday, our wedding anniversary, thanksgiving, Christmas, my birthday and around the time I met him I cry and it gotten better for my emotions when I think of the funny things he did that made me laugh about 2016. Then I was ready to make new friends that are my best friend forever and big brothers. Also from 2009 to present I have been taken classes from early childhood education, computer applications also ministry classes, I am saying to be patient don't do or make any major changes right now in your life. It took me 6 to 8 months to give Richard's things away such as his clothes and a friend help me with that also for 6 months to a year off and on I went to one on one counseling there is nothing wrong in going for counseling through your church or local organization. I encourage you to keep telling others how you are feeling and write it down in a journal or notebook. One day you will reread what you written. I hope you feel better, it does get better and you have your memories of you life with your spouse.  

 

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I lost my husband 5 months ago and I am still in disbelief. It's hard to rebuild your life when you miss the most important part of it, your man. I have a few women friends, all married and not quite able to understand what I am going through. We go out to lunch occasionally, but I have not been out to a dinner at night since my husband died. Eating by myself at home is not fulfilling, and even though I used to love to cook, I don't see the point to do that anymore. I wonder what future will bring, if anything. So I travel visiting my children and g-children, but I am getting tired of traveling too.

I guess, I will have to find some activity that will bring meaning to my life, to make it worth living again.

 

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I agree with you totally that losing one's spouse is so different from other losses. When you lose your spouse, you lose your way of life, and for a long time you feel disoriented, and you question whether you can survive the loneliness and despair. I lost my husband last August 2018 and I am still feeling like I can't do it, like I am losing my mind. But I know that so may others survived this ordeal and so will I. It will just take time. Meantime, one has to get involved in life again by helping others, volunteering maybe. I wonder if anyone has suggestions on that.

Thank you.

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I hope your day is going well. Stay strong and be positive. You'll pull through. We all have our issues in life. We fall down, get back up and soldier on.

R.

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Just a quick note that is positive. After 2 1/2 days of wondering if I will always be in a mental and physical fog of fatigue, I have had 2 days of feeling like a normal person. It is like a huge suffocating weight is lifted. If it has happened with me, then it must, and will, happen to lots of people.

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Just a quick note that is positive. After 2 1/2 days of wondering if I will always be in a mental and physical fog of fatigue, I have had 2 days of feeling like a normal person. It is like a huge suffocating weight is lifted. If it has happened with me, then it must, and will, happen to lots of people.

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Thank you for inviting reply. Not sure where this reply is going  (I am super stupid re computers - but I do not get drawn into them either, and have even done maintenance from home) because I cannot find 1, 2, 3 type steps. If you are a person, are you a member or a site manager? Just want to share one thing about support groups. I have only been in one, it was all women, and the lay leader would open wounds, but did not have the skills to go further. I liked all the ladies, but just poking the pain was destructive to me. Years ago, my daughter's college UU group tried the same amateur psychology - she defended the poor victim and thoughly scolded the group about respect and dignity and that support does not equal harm. 

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Re: Living life as a widow/ widower

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I'm sorry about your loss. If you want to talk, feel free to get in touch.

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