With great sadness I share with you my column about deciding to start hospice care for Daddy several months ago, and his passing on June 13th. I've shared so much of our caregiving journey over the past decade, and so now I'm sharing the end of the journey. Grief is so hard and unpredicatble. But I'm so comforted by the knowledge that we did everything we could for Daddy, right up until the very end. He was at home, he was mobile up until the last two days of his life and he was enveloped in love. He was dressed and wearing one of his favorite caps after having a relaxing shower every day. He was never bed-bound. He wasn't in pain. I feel really good about that.
But now our house is so empty and I miss him terribly. I truly always loved being with him, regardless of how difficult caregiving could be. I really never felt it a burden. So it's not a relief that it's over (as some think it would be). I treasured every single moment. He was one-of-a-kind for sure.
Dear agoyer, I only wish I had known about hospice care when my Father was terminally ill. My experience with his passing has left me with horrible memories and guilt about the decisions we made not knowing all options available.