First off I’m sorry I’m just seeing this now. I am
so sorry for the passing of your husband. I lost
my husband to Cancer in 2018. It’s been over
two years and I am still actively grieving. No
matter what they say, life will never be
the same after losing your spouse.
I don’t know the violent death details
you speak of but clearly it has
traumatized you. You can get individual or
group grief counseling. It may help you to talk
about it. Or is there a family member or close
friend you can talk to? You cannot
get through this alone. My suggestion
which has helped me the most is a
book that was given to me called
”Widow to widow” by Genevieve Davis.
You can skip around and read the
chapter you need at the time. It has
helped me a lot. You can buy
it on Amazon. Also don’t beat
yourself up about anything going
on in your life as you have been
traumatized. Take your time
and find the outlet that will help
you begin to heal. Best wishes to
you on your journey 🙏