Dear Butterfly, Thank you and to Shari, whose note follows yours, for your truly kind thoughts and suggestions. I am ordering Widow to Widow. Yes, I didn't mention how my husband died. But I will now. A little while ago, I returned from our county sheriff's vehicle impound lot, where I filled out papers to release his van to our van to the insurance company to be hauled to the scrapyard, now that the detectives have released it. The person helping me asked if I wanted to see the van. Someone earlier had told me not to, but maybe it would be alright. OK. She shook her head. You've seen it? She nodded. It is very bad. You don't want to see it. You'll have terrible memories forever. They won't go away. Then images of my husband in the ER just before he died sprang back into my awareness. I started sobbing. My helper left her post. People around me 1/4 my age started trying to help. A few minutes later, the sheriff in charge of these acres of ruined or impounded cars gently encouraged me to let him drive me home instead of going by taxi, and so I let him. What's so hard for me to say, and write here, is that my husband died of burns when his van was engulfed in flames and he was trapped in it in his wheelchair. So, you can understand now why I am so grateful to you and Shari for your notes.
I have read the book you suggest, and even though I lost my husband almost five years ago it still helps me.
Our journey through grief is a personal one, as we all grieve differently. I am still grieving as his death was not expected. I can't imagine what you are going through as your husband's death was violent, if you need a shoulder please feel free to message me. We all need someone to talk to that truly understands what it is like to lose a spouse.